The Need for Boundaries

  “Everyone must submit to governing authority. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.” Romans 13:1

  Passage chosen for the day. Check. Knowing what else to write. Not so much…

  The squirrel brain is having a hayday and is focusing on everything else that is going on and has happened over the last couple of days.

  Mostly I am struggling with having to set boundaries and it ending up causing a great deal of hurt. A visitor from the centre came to my church, having been invited by someone else. I was delighted to see them there but because of work policies that clearly set out the rules about visitor contact with staff outside of the centre, it was necessary to define the limitations of our relationship. The policy clearly states staff is not to have any contact at all with visitors outside the centre but I live in a small community. It’s bound to happen that paths cross.

  It’s hard to make someone welcome, to be inclusive yet ask that they respect these boundaries. The policies are in place for visitor and staff safety as well as confidentiality. Breaking them could mean I could lose my job.

  Sigh. This isn’t the first time this type of conversation has been necessary and I feel like crap every time I have to go through the spiel.

  Perhaps I am taking on too much responsibility for how someone receives this information. I am not the only person going to church. Personal relationships can develop that don’t include me. It is everyone's choice whether or not to take advantage of getting to know the other wonderful people in my church family. I am also not responsible for someone choosing not to come because they have an issue with my employer’s policies. That I can give to God.

 

  Thank You, Lord for making sure this passage was in the Bible because it is important for me to honour the rules of my employment and not because of a fear of retribution but because I heartily agree with the need for boundaries. I, too, need safe places to go and be my vulnerable self, to be supported.  It is important to be able to set boundaries even though it is something I struggle with. Only practice will make it easier. Only practice will help me overcome the belief that I am responsible for how others feel when a much needed boundary has been put in place. That, also, can be given to God.

  AMEN!