Tough Questions, No Easy Answers

  “God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:17

  During a conversation about my faith yesterday, a question was posed. It’s one I hadn’t thought about before but definitely needs to be explored.

  To paraphrase the question my psychiatrist asked me, “As a person of faith, what do you think about Canada’s legal rights to medically assisted suicide (MAID)?”  This good doctor primarily serves oncology patients.

  I was rather taken aback. As I said, it isn’t a topic that had ever fallen under my radar. My doctor shared his point that MAID is not for someone living with depression who may be feeling suicidal. It isn’t that easy to obtain. MAID is for someone who is dying from a chronic, incurable, pain filled illness such as end stage cancer where there is no hope of life or recovery.

  So, let me think about this…

  But what if the person seeking MAID is a Christian? Is there a difference?

  This bears some thought. Is dying by suicide an unforgivable sin? Many say it is.

  I am not sure.

  Death by suicide is an act of desperation and utter, soul emptying loneliness. Even people who follow Jesus can reach this point which is why it is so important for us to remain in a community. We need to surround ourselves with fellow believers with whom we can be vulnerable and honest; believers who do not judge or condemn but who encourage and support us when times are tough. That’s crucial to riding out the swirling tempest when the Black River runs high. God, forgive us for when we fail each other.

  The choice for suicide, apart from MAID, is sad, though, because the person who makes the decision to end their life believes there is no other option. It is a place where hope does not dwell. Is losing hope a sin? This is why I question whether or not suicide is an unforgivable sin.

  I wish, I pray, those of us who follow Jesus would not be so hard on each other.

  We are good at heaping guilt and shame on those who may be entertaining these sorts of thoughts. I have even been on the receiving end when things were at their darkest and suicidal ideation was my constant companion. (Lord, let me remember this so I can be kinder to those who are struggling.)

  So. Education. For a long while, unknown to me, these thoughts were a side effect of the medication I was taking. (I wish the doctors would warn us about this.) Guilt, shame, blaming myself and fear partnered up to compound the problem. Prayer, music, art, nothing was able to rid my mind of the most horrible thoughts until there was a change in meds! It wasn’t my fault, my lack of faith, after all.

 

  But I digress.

  Yes, I believe God can do miracles. There are countless stories of instant healing but just as many stories where there was none. I have heard of people dying from cancer who had no pain at all. But I also saw my devout grandmother die a most painful death because of it. I believe she was at peace, though, because she knew where she was going. It happened when I was very young. Others have found comfort in the presence of angels who guard their death bed.

  There is much in this world that is unseen. There is much I do not understand but our God is a merciful God. Medically assisted suicide is mercy in action is it not? Or is it murder? Is it murder when someone asks for their life to end? (Tough question.)

  Is the choice for MAID made because we, as followers of Jesus, have missed the boat when it comes to comforting the dying whether they believe in Jesus or not? How do the living comfort the dying?

  I heard a story once about a group of Christians protesting outside of a place that offered abortions. One of the young women who was about to enter asked if any of them would adopt her baby if she chose to carry it to term; if any of them would provide for her during her pregnancy or should she decide to keep the baby. There were no takers. Lord, help me find mercy and grace for these believers.

 

 So here it is. All I know is that, for me personally, MAID is not an option should my end be one of pain and suffering. (Lord, I pray it isn’t so.) I also realize I cannot make the decision for someone else. That is between them and God.

  Do I condemn the doctors who act out of the legal authority granted by the MAID laws? Do I condemn the government that made these laws? I cannot do that either. This, too, is between them and God. Or if they don't believe in God, their conscience.

  Here’s something else I need to think about. Is denying someone the right to choose MAID a selfish act? Is it based on self-righteousness? Religiosity? Judgment? How does denying access to MAID manifest itself as an act of love when it condemns someone to live their final months, weeks, days, in agony? (Whew! That's another tough question.)

  The more I think about this, the more questions have arisen. I don't think there are any clear answers.
  God gave us free will and the ability to choose our path. My path is very different from someone else’s. God does not demand conformity from His children. Conformity leaves no room for relationship or seeking or questions or even doubt. 

   Oh! Now I understand how the abortion story fits...The demand for forced conformity to a set of beliefs not held by others is the complete antithesis to how God loves. A love that is shown to us through the teachings, the life and the death of Jesus. 

  I also know if I end up going the wrong way, He will forgive me. AMEN!