Triple T #4378

“You have heard the law that says, “Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.” But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” Mathew 5:43-44

  Of all the commands of Jesus, I find this one the hardest to live up to. I don’t do very well at loving people who have broken my trust or hurt me. I have to wonder if this is because of my history, of the time when I have allowed people to hurt me again and again because I thought this was the price of being loved. (Boy, it makes me sad to realize I thought that way for such a long time.)

  I do know better now but I think there are some residual misunderstandings that need deconstructing, or a time of thinking things through (Triple T.)

  Hmmm, I just realized Jesus doesn’t insist we remain in relationship with those who have hurt us. He only commands us to pray for them.

  I can do that…I think.

  So here’s the challenge in this: to think about what caused the hurt in the first place. I know a main reason. Most often hurts happen because, in some form or another, they devalue me as a person. Or maybe I am extremely sensitive to such things, having such a new and fragile sense of worth. I go all Momma Bear when something happens to rock that belief because it was a long, hard battle to believe this truth in the first place! That is, if I can react at all in the moment. Mostly I end up stunned and need time to process what happened.

  Can I pray for a day my reaction is rooted in that same sense of worth? A day when I am able to retaliate with prayer instead of condemnation and anger? And, yes, fear.

  The boogie man in my closet is being afraid of losing my grasp on the truth. It was hidden from me for such a long time. Lord, I am angry about this. There’s grief, too, that has yet to be processed. The anger is just one facet of that.

  The boogie man is the enemy of my soul who would be very happy for me to turn away from the truth. Some of his weapons are humiliation, neglect, disregard, callousness, doubt and shame. In the past they have succeeded in crushing my spirit. Nothing he does is new. He can only repeat what he did when his efforts succeeded. But that was then, this is now and I am a new creation in Christ. Each and every day, I am new again!

   I do have to ask how the enemy manages to turn a sense of worth into one of questioning if this is prideful or not!

  Sigh. These are big thoughts.

  I need to clarify something so bear with me…A sense of worth, a gift of God, has its foundation in humility; a humility that is entrenched in the acknowledgement that without God I am nothing. Without His gift of value, I would not be able to pray for my enemy. I would not be able to see the value in others. (This is a work in progress.)

  Smile. I want to do better. It takes practice to walk in the confident belief that what God shows me is right and true. It takes practice for new behaviours, new ideas, to replace the old. So let’s leave room for grace to work in and through this season of learning and unlearning.

  And, Lord, forgive me for hurting others because I do although it is never my intention.

  Lord, there is so much to be thankful for. AMEN!