Doin' the Work

   "Teach me Your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to Your truth!" Psalm 86:11

  A friend asked me what "doing the work" actually means. They made me pause for thought because I'd never really put this concept into definitive terms. So this morning, while salsa is simmering away on the stove, it seems like a good idea to explain what this means to me.

  It all started the moment I asked the Lord to not let me be bitter about all the things that had happened in my life and to my life. It was my very first prayer as a believer.

  Bitterness is the devil's poison. It consumes all the good things, all the blessings the Lord so freely gives because it blinds us to them all. I admit, at times, bitterness has a way of creeping in but only for a moment, a season if you will. I've discovered that in talking/writing/praying about how I am feeling, there's a release as I come to terms with the things which made me feel this way in the first place.

  Doing the work requires honesty with God. There are no bad feelings He cannot soothe, no pain He cannot heal. However, being honest with God means we need to be honest with ourselves, too. This is not always a bad thing although the enemy of our souls delights in making sure we only focus on the shortcomings of our humanity, the sins we have committed, the harm we have done to others. The devil doesn't want us to see all of God's blessings that make us special. he definitely doesn't want us to embrace the forgiveness Jesus has waiting for us. We only need to ask.

  My heart's desire is to become the woman God ordained me to be at the dawn of time. He has taught me to forgive. He has given me grace when I cannot find it in my heart. 

  If memory serves me, in the book, The Shack, God talks about forgiveness as taking our hands off someone else's throat. It's not about them, it's about and for our own peace.

  It's why the Lord teaches us to forgive over and over and over again. Each time we forgive or even make the choice to do so, our death grip on someone else loosens and we are freed. Letting go of a need for vengeance or justice is one of the hardest things to do but hanging on to them is a breeding ground for bitterness when we feel neither is happening. 

   In God's time, it will. We may never see it or know about it. I've learned to be okay with this after having many a prayerful conversation with Jesus about it all. At least, I try to be okay with it.

  (I just want to say that if someone is a danger to a child or has harmed a child or if personal physical safety or even life is in danger, please, get in touch with the authorities immediately! Abuse in any form is utterly unacceptable.)

  Giving ourselves space and time is important, too. Wounds are incredibly complex. While I have often found healing in one area surrounding a specific event, the Lord will frequently have me revisit the memories because there's more to it than simply a one and done. So patience is important. It's the sister of surrender.

  Now, surrender isn't because we have been defeated, not at all! The best way to think about it is as if someone came over for dinner. Their plate is filled at the stove, it's taken to the table and set before them. It doesn't matter if the plate has a chip on it. (Smile...I like this visual. Can you imagine if the plate you were offering was given to Jesus? I don't think He'd care one bit that the green beans were overdone.)

  So we offer the plate and in return we are filled. That's surrender, too, making space to be filled.

  Doing the work is also nurturing gratitude and expressing it. Sounds a bit like a cliche but it isn't. Prayers of gratitude help us get outside of our pain, our struggles. Being thankful makes the hard stuff come easier.

  Doin' the work also involves community. Sometimes, the hurts are just too big to unravel on our own. But if we are willing to find healing, it may take the involvement of a therapist or group to help understand the impact of those experiences. It might take some time to find who or where that is. There are many options available to anyone looking for support. Don't be afraid, either, of recognizing when it isn't the right fit. God has something better ahead.

  People who have experienced similar things have taught me a great deal about the impact of abuse and trauma on every aspect of my life. 

  I know well from experience that fear is the greatest obstacle. Curiosity and desire will kick it to the curb.  

  I've had to put on the brakes every now and then because sometimes, it can be more than I can handle. Sometimes it takes time to gather up enough courage to face what needs to be faced. That's okay. 

  I also pause to let all I've learned sink in because it takes time to digest a new understanding or to allow the wounds time to heal. That's part of why my blog isn't something that is written every day. 

  As long as I am on the earth, this journey will continue. There is no timeline. No deadline. No final grade. There is no one pressuring me to "get over it." I simply want to. 

  There are some things that have happened which had such a profound impact that complete healing may only happen when the Lord calls me home. I find it hard to accept some days but nevertheless, these things I give to Jesus because in Him, anything is possible.

   The greatest motivator for "doing the work" is having the most important lesson of all reinforced every time I dip my toes into the Black River. I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is with me. He has always been there, even in the darkest depths of the water. 

  I want to close out today with acknowledging that doing the work involves prayer. A lot of it be it visual, vocal, song, silence, waiting, or giving thanks for the sunshine. Prayer is the foundation of a healing relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Prayer is the key that unlocks the truth. And that, my friends, is something to be thankful for!