This isn't the first time H and I have visited this park which isn't that far from us. It was a perfect day for hiking if that's what you want to call it. We leisurely followed one of numerous trails through the park on a quest for mushrooms. Not the edible kind, but anything and everything that might poke its head out of the brown, leafy carpet or old decaying logs.
It takes a bit of practice to spot them but I found by looking for anything circular in a space filled with jagged edges and straight lines, they seemed to pop out of nowhere. Bits of twig, leaves, or location makes no two mushrooms exactly the same which is why I like photographing them. They have personality.
We didn't find any elves or fairies though. Or Smurfs for that matter.
Instead there was a breathless sense of awe about the place. Maybe it was the late September sun that gave everything an ethereal glow or perhaps the quiet rush of leaves worshipping the heavens helped create a church-like atmosphere. Either way, it did much to ease the anxiety that I've been struggling with so much lately.
God is good.
Sunday's sermon before the walk was about being at peace and not being anxious about anything. I've struggled with that particular scripture for a while now because it's not that I am worried about getting ahead, or paying bills or having the next best thing. The simple fact is, due to trauma, my body is hard wired with the fight/flight response that is chronically going off even when there is nothing to fight or flee from.
I am not sure if this is supposed to be the cross I am to bear. My prayers are that there will be a miraculous healing. My prayers are that I will find peace and contentment. Your will be done, my Lord.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Chris Jesus." Phil 4:6-7
As I think about this, it occurs to me that there are different kinds of peace. You are seeking an emotional peace that may take place if God heals you physically. But you have already obtained the spiritual peace that this verse is partly talking about. You know your Lord. You know He takes care of you. You are not concerned about His love for you. And you are one of the most thankful people I know!
ReplyDeleteThanks, H, for your encouraging words.
DeleteI've struggled for years - pleading, wondering, crying, wishing and praying that a situation will change in my life. Since it is tied to another person, I know only God can make the changes for them, just as God makes changes in me. Yet I am realizing, like Paul's thorn in the flesh, that it is this very situation that constantly draws me to God for help, comfort, vindication, protection and more. At times the situations throw me at His feet. I truly believe that is where He wants me. He is the best in me. He is more than my wonderful Savior, He is my Lord. It is when I am totally dependant on Him I am in His will and experiencing His best. It may not "feel" like it, but feelings have little to do with true love. (Read 1 Cor. 13 and note there are no "feeling" words.) It is for His glory that I am here. I am so guilty of letting how I feel dictate my actions instead of obedient love for the One who gave up all for me. Hard lessons with eternal outcomes.
ReplyDeleteAmen!
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ReplyDelete