In the beginning of my walk with the Lord, I had done a couple of word studies in a quest to learn more of God and of myself. Using my Strong's concordance I looked up every single scripture containing a particular word. The first one was "woman". Gotta start with the basics. The next one was "love". In that study I quickly learned my worldly take on love was not God's love. Both times were wonderful opportunities to grow and I haven't done one since. There were other things going on that rendered me incapable.
I am thinking I should do one on "trust" and make it a Word study.
We received an email at work from an organization offering workshops on understanding the impact of trauma on social and emotional well being. Their mission statement was, "Helping people whose tomorrows don't exist." It struck a chord with me.
I want to be able to dream of tomorrow. Oh, I know I've blogged some future plans but believing they will come true is a whole other ball game. That takes trust and perhaps understanding why the fear of failure is so pervasive.
Thank You, Lord. It wasn't always me who failed. I do know that. At least, in my head. It's that ugly, heavy burden of false responsibility settling onto my shoulders again. Perhaps that's part of the fear of failure as well. I don't want to get blamed for something not being exactly as it should.
Abusers are adept at shifting the responsibility of their actions onto their victims. I can't say that enough. Not just for me but for everyone. Not that I am in any way shape or form in that situation any more but lessons learned take a long time to unlearn. Conditioned responses take time to un-condition (if that's even a word). Even if they are unlearned, they have a habit of creeping back like a spider from the basement. It may be small but its web is mighty.
So there it is. Food for thought.
"Let the Lord be magnified, Who has pleasure in the prosperity of His servant." Ps 35:27
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Boundary Study Part 2
"Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God--truly righteous and holy...
Interestingly enough, God had to teach me the same lesson in an opposite way to your not seeing a future. I would hope for and plan things, sometimes to have the plans fall flat and the hopes be dashed. I came to learn that God allowed this in order to teach me not to place too much value on EXPECTATIONS. I "expected" that my plans would happen, and that I was in control of my future. Only by giving up control of this to God did I come to experience the freedom that comes with not being stressed out by trying to achieve a particular outcome. As I learned how to live this way, it became greater freedom because I am now not as tied to any particular future.
ReplyDeleteBoth my experience and yours takes absolute trust in the Lord - trust that He will make "whatever" happens work for our good. (See Romans 8:28) Once you expect that Good, you will find it.
No one liberated women more than the Lord Jesus. He passed by on all the cultural norms and actually sought out women. I love reading about the Lord's interactions with women. Enjoy your study!
ReplyDeleteThank you both for your encouraging and insightful comments.
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