One of our fireside conversations was about fears. Snakes came up but also my own struggles with claustrophobia. Elevators are okay. It's only when the closed in space is dark, like under the sink or in a closet. Even talking about it causes my chest to constrict and my mouth to dry up.
Rattled and uneasy, I went for a walk to the washroom down the road from our camp site. A prayer fell from my lips. Gazing upwards at the small patch of star strewn sky visible beyond the tree canopy, I heard a small voice cry out.
"Because that's where monsters come from."
I remember being afraid of the monsters in the closet as a child but I never thought it would or could be something that affects grown up sensibilities. So much for that theory. But with this realization, a whole avalanche of understanding has poured over me.
My closets don't have doors. There weren't any when I bought the place. I now understand my reluctance to install them. The cupboard under the sink rarely gets cleaned out. It's a deep corner cupboard where reaching into the back to get my watering can causes me to hold my breath and grit my teeth.
I am not going to call this a silly fear. Yes, I know there are no monsters in these places. It's a core belief, a deep understanding of a "truth" that has woven its way into the fabric of life. It calls for prayer and meditation. It calls for gentleness because something happened that birthed the monster. My trust is in the Lord that I will find the reason. His will be done. Amen!
"Then Jesus rebuked the unclean spirit, healed the child, and gave him back to his father." Lk 9:42
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