Metaphor Mish-mash

  “Even though she put only a little yeast in three measures of flour, it permeated every part of the dough.” Mathew 13:33

  On the way home from home church last night, a blazing shooting star raced overhead; the first one seen this year. I hadn’t seen any during the annual meteor shower this past summer, much to my great disappointment, even though I’d been out every night searching. It was a letdown, when previous years had seen me lose count of all the shooting stars in the heavens.

  Last night’s appearance wasn’t the usual, barely seen, glimpse of a flash seen in a clear sky. There were a lot of clouds last night. The shooting star was brilliant enough and low enough to light them up as it whipped past. At first I thought it was a fiery plane crashing, it was that bright! But it was moving far too quickly. It’s one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen!

   I suppose I didn’t really see the meteor, only its effect.

  That’s what faith in Jesus Christ is, too. It isn’t something we can hold or put on a shelf. It isn’t a cuddly teddy bear to wrap our arms around. Faith doesn’t come wrapped in a box. It isn’t stored in a box along with the Christmas decorations…or maybe it is... My hope is that this could be an opportunity for everyone to think about having Christmas every day of the year.

  Faith isn’t something that can be seen; but its effect is clearly visible. Maybe that’s what the yeast is referring to: faith.

  The Lord knew I was disappointed in August when, despite spending enough time outside that I got a crick in my neck from looking up, not a single shooting star showed itself. It’s silly. I know what they are; great big hunks of rock from space. But their final glory as they burn across the heavens fills me with childish delight and laughter. I must have thanked the Lord a dozen times last night!

  Hmmm, yeast, faith, is a complicated medium with a simple foundation of believing in Jesus.. Gratitude is part of its makeup as well.

  Part of my personal faith yeast is the verse from Joel 2:25. “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust and the chewing locust.”

  Disappointment is a big bug. So is loss. Betrayal. Illness…Weevils in the flour.

  But, God more than made up for this summer’s disappointment! 

  He has more than made up for every single disappointment in my entire life. Only, sometimes, I have had to wait to see it come to fruition. Sometimes it required me to actively be involved in the process. Picking weevils out of the flour isn't the most pleasant thing to do but oh, so necessary. (Ewww.)

  I think faith/yeast is standing on the promises of God given to us through Jesus Christ, Kingdom living to the nth degree. 

  The best part? A little faith goes a long way. Even if we can't see it working until we see it working!

Bread of Heaven

  “Even though she put only a little yeast in three measures of flour, it permeated every part of the dough.” Mathew 13:33

  For interest’s sake, three measures are roughly sixty pounds.

  There was an experimental archaeology program from Britain on TV a while back. It was about the history of bakeries in the medieval times right through to the industrial revolution. Machines made the job a whole lot easier. The focus was on bread because in the beginning that’s all bakeries baked. The sweets and pastries associated with a modern bakery only came into being because of machines. Bakers had more time and with the advent of the industrial revolution, average people had more money to spend on such treats.

  Prior to machines and once community bakeries came into being, a huge wooden box with slightly sloped sides was the “mixing bowl.” Yeast, gleaned from the dregs of beer (hmmm...that's worth thinking about!) along with flour and salt were mixed in massive quantities, similar to the three measures.

  It was hard work. When arms grew tired, feet were used to work the dough just like pressing grapes.

  Suffice it to say, the bread ended up having a lot of additional ingredients added. Ewww.

  At one point, chalk was added to keep the price of a loaf down. It also made the loaf whiter and therefore more desirable. Until you bit into it.

 

  “The Kingdom of Heaven is like the yeast a woman used in making bread.” Mathew 13:33

  Only we tend to add a whole lot of other unwanted ingredients or add things to make it “whiter” and more palatable. Or maybe that is more about religion, not the Kingdom.

  So the Kingdom is not religion or religious practices although there are wonderful rituals that have the ability to draw us nearer to God in all faiths. Taking communion or raising our voices in worship for example is exercising obedience to Christ’s commands. Duty, another aspect of the Kingdom, will become joy as we grow in our faith. There are more “D” words involved in this: diligence, discernment, dedication, and desire.

  Many of us have personal ways of connecting, like the woman who added the yeast.

  Often our yeast is God’s Word.

 

  This has me thinking about being a partaker in the Kingdom as opposed to a passive observer.

  The Kingdom is for every day. I choose to be involved in learning, exploring and even questioning what the Kingdom is. Questions are yeast, too. There’s an anticipatory joy in waiting for answers and knowing they will come. That’s like waiting for the dough to rise if I’m going to stick with the bread metaphor. And there is nothing more fragrant than freshly baked bread!

  For me, the greatest part of God’s Kingdom is that all of us are called to be involved. God’s Kingdom is relational, it’s a community effort. So even though I can relate to the lone woman who added the yeast, there are many others in my life who are committed to the rest of the process.

  And one day there will be a feast beyond imagining!

History and Mystery

  "Here is another illustration Jesus used: 'The Kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed planted in a field. It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of garden plants; it grows into a tree, and birds come and make nests in its branches.'" Mathew 13:31-32

  I had a wonderful weekend visiting my son and his family. Having just watched Sunday's teaching, there is much to think about.
  One of the things I like about Bruxy Cavey (the Meeting House) as a teacher is his God given gift of being able to incorporate historical understandings into the lessons. He explained that throughout scriptures, birds are used to represent an enemy. In the first century, this bird reference is indicative of the Roman empire who used the eagle as the banner of their armies and civilization.

  Basically, Jesus is calling all who believe in Him to love their neighbour, to have faith as a mustard seed so those who call us their enemy will come and be welcomed.
  I am thankful Bruxy also clarified that love isn't simply being a doormat. Sometimes love takes the form of boundaries or even distance between us as a means of holding someone else accountable for their actions. I think it's very important to understand our own hearts and motives. If holding someone else accountable is an act of vengeance, it is not of God.
  Love is helping someone else be the best person they can be.
  How?
  By being the person God has desires for all of us.
  How?
  It boils down to trusting the fundamental tenets of Christian faith. "God so loved the world..." John 3:16

  In the flood earlier this year, my Christmas decorations ended up being drenched. The paper mache Nativity Scene I place under my tree ended up a sodden mess. The loss was difficult because many hours were spent making it. Although, I am grateful there were such minimal losses!
  My daughter-in-law printed off a pattern for a knitted Nativity Scene for me. In true Sue fashion, I got stuck into it after getting home yesterday.
  The figures are about the size of an adult mitten so they don't take long to knit up although stuffing and sewing and adding details takes a bit of time. Not that getting this done is a race...smile. I am happy to have some handwork to do.
  While knitting Mary, the pattern called for arms I felt were a bit short so some extra rows were added. Then I got thinking that the pattern would make all the figures the same size even though they were different colours. I will make them different heights. The baby Jesus is the size of a thumb.
  As I knit each figure, there is ample time to reflect on each character, the role they played in the Christmas story and who they were.
  Thoughts on what skin colours I would use, what they would have been historically was part of this.
  As I hunted through my bead stash to find some brown beads suitable for Mary's eyes, it struck me that Baby Jesus would have had blue eyes! Like all babies.
  I am thankful for the pattern. It has given me a starting point. I am also thankful for the courage to stray from it (or is it rebel against?) and make it my own. No, it isn't straying or rebelling it is creativity unfolding. Praise God!

  It seems a bit of a grab bag this morning. Lord, what's the connection?

Silver Bells and Cockle Shells

  “But that night as the workers slept, the enemy came and planted weeds among the wheat, then slipped away.” Mathew 13:25

  Our home church leader brought in some information last night about this parable. Based on Greek and Hebrew texts, the wheat referred to is a rice-like plant. The weeds refer to a plant called darnel although some translations say they are thistles. Darnel is very similar to wheat in appearance. It is only when the wheat is ripe and ready for harvest that the difference between the two is obvious. Wheat seeds hang down. Darnel seeds point upwards and the plants are much taller, up to a meter.

   Darnel is also known as cockle. Which brought to mind a saying my Irish ex-husband used frequently, but I had no idea what it meant.

  “It warms the cockles of my heart,” usually spoken in response to good news. I don’t know if he knew where it came from but to discover a Biblical root has surprised me. But then, there are a lot of idioms that have become part of everyday speech whose foundation is in Scripture.

  Of course, nothing else comes to mind right now.

  So there it is…a voice from long ago finding its way back into my life. Praise God it is a positive thing for once instead of an unwanted reminder of all the toxic garbage! Or should I say, a reminder of the other weeds that were planted before the planter slipped away.

  “It warms the cockles of my heart.” (Smile.)

  Grace. There’s no better thing to warm weeds with than this! And maybe, just maybe, they will get warm enough to transform into wheat!

   P.S.  The title today is from the nursery rhyme, "Mary, Mary quite contrary, how does your garden grow? With silver bells and cockle shells and pretty maids all in a row." I know it refers to sea shells but the concept, the question, seemed to fit with today's sharing.

Where There Be Weeds

  “Then, leaving the crowds outside, Jesus went into the house. His disciples said, “Please explain to us the story of the weeds in the field.” Mathew 13:36

  A few hours were spent working on the book yesterday. With a great deal of trepidation, I have meekly ventured into areas where Jesus is a big part of the story. I am still wrestling with adding dialog to what Jesus says but my deepest desire is anything I have Him say or think or do will be true to who He is. The book will be proof read to make sure this was achieved.

  But then, I am not writing this on my own. I have a Guide to lead me, to inspire me and help me imagine what Jesus might say in certain circumstances. I suppose this applies to all the other characters in the Lazarus story. There’s been no reluctance to have Martha and Mary converse with one another. The messenger they sent to find Jesus has ended up being a major character even though there is only a brief reference to him in the Bible. There has even been a sub-plot appear around him. (It’s hard waiting to see how this unfolds.)

  Still, Lord, I can’t seem to shake the idea that it is wrong to add dialog when it comes to Jesus. 

  It would appear there are weeds...

  Oh! Yes! Thank You for this revelation!

  There are other fiction writers who have written Jesus dialog and even God dialog, like in “The Shack”! It was one of the most powerful stories I have ever read but, if memory serves, it was highly controversial in some Christian circles.

  Hmmm…is my reluctance to “put words in Jesus’ mouth” due to religious ideology? That’s a strong possibility where the struggle is coming from…

  Okay. Lets do a Triple T.

  While I am including what Jesus is quoted as saying in the Bible as part of the story, what is being added by me does not alter God’s Word in any way, shape or form. That is as it should be.

  Using Scripture as the starting point then allowing imagination and Inspiration (the Holy Spirit) to forge a connection with Jesus is not wrong! In fact, we are encouraged to do just that. It’s a huge part of meditation practices. The only difference I see is that these meditations of mine are being written down as a work of fiction.

  Imagination is a form of time travel where being “in the moment” isn’t fiction. It’s as real as if we were actually there. If what I write enables others to join me in these travels through time to become personally involved in the Lazarus story, praise God and to His Glory! Amen!

 

  I think I am finally free of any reluctance to follow the lead of the Holy Spirit on this. I give thanks to God for imagination, for the gift of time travel.

  The weeds have been pulled without any harm to the wheat. Praise God!

  Lord, one more question (for now)…

  (Smile.)

  When Martha hears the news You have arrived in Bethany. She comes to see You. When Martha returns to tell her sister You have come, Mary leaves the house to go to You. Only, with Mary, there was a difference. Everyone who had gathered at their house to mourn followed her. They believed Mary was going to weep outside the tomb.

  Why didn’t the mourners follow Martha when she left?

I Come to the Garden Alone.

  “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a farmer who planted good seed in his field.”

  What makes seeds good? How would the farmer have known they were good or not?

  I’ve often driven past fields of grain where towering corn stalks are scattered throughout. It doesn’t seem possible they were mixed in with the wheat or canola seed. It’s most likely they are the result of a few corn kernels falling to the ground during the previous year’s harvest. They are the ones that were missed by Canada geese, wild turkeys or even deer who gleaned the field in the fall for these few choice morsels.

  Most wheat seeds today are patented. They are the result of careful, selective breeding, and genetic modification. Farmers no longer have the right to keep a portion of the harvest in order to plant it the next. Engineered seeds are property of the manufacturer.

  There is a lot of controversy about GMO (genetically modified) plants and the business practices attached to the manufacture of designer seeds. There is also swirling controversy around the restrictions placed on farmers. If a farmer doesn’t buy, and plant, the GMO seeds but a few blow into his field and end up growing there, he can be sued. It’s well worth investigating if you are interested.

  In Jesus’ day, no such restrictions existed. So how would a farmer get the best seeds to plant?

  He would know for sure they were good seeds if they came from his own fields. That is if he was meticulous in having his workers separate weeds from wheat during harvest. That is if his workers were meticulous in this task and didn’t cut corners thus allowing weed seeds to be mixed in with the grain.

  A farmer could purchase seed from a well known neighbor or traded goats for oats.

  I wonder…would a cheaper seed be cheaper because it was contaminated by weeds? Would some sly merchant have falsely advertised the sack of grain they had for sale? It would be prudent to ask around to see if anyone had previous dealings with this sort of seller. A bargain isn’t always a bargain.

  Planting good seed…

  The idea of “blind faith” has been cropping up time and again over the last several days.  I’ve found myself mulling over what it means.  Google informs me blind faith is defined as belief without true understanding, perception or discrimination. 

  Blind faith has no place for questions. It buries God’s love in ideology and religion.

  For me, the biggest determiner is blind faith is not relational.

  It’s a great, big, ugly, barbed wire fence separating us from the richest, most fertile “soil” in the universe: knowing the heart of God.

  Seed planting is part of a relationship man has had with the earth for millennia.

  Imagine the field you own is the Kingdom of Heaven...what fantastic, amazing, and awesome things might grow there! It's where you can plant one seed and the harvest will be thirty, sixty, a hundred times what was planted!

  Your Kingdom come, Lord, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven...Amen!

 

Round and Round the Garden

    “Should we pull out the weeds?” they asked. “No,” he (the farmer) replied, “you’ll uproot the wheat if you do. Let both grow together until the harvest.” Mathew 13:28-30

  At this point, the weeds would be separated and burned.

  When I raised veggies, weeding among the seedlings was a cautious, careful exercise. It was okay if some of the young shoots got uprooted because it was prudent to plant more seeds than there was space for, in case some were duds. It was even necessary to pull out some of the young vegetables as the plants got bigger. They needed room to grow.

  I’ve also ended up with having a veggie garden become weed choked. Lack of time, being away, and summer’s heat often meant garden tending was at the bottom of the to-do list. I would try and get the weeds out before they went to seed or when my backyard bonfire was going anyways. The unwanted plants could be tossed on the fire a few at a time as I picked away at tidying things up.

  Either way, after weeding always came watering. It would settle the soil around the plants left in the garden. It would help them deal with the shock of having been disturbed. It would also replace the water the weeds had stolen.

  My own veggie patch was on sandy soil where the biggest challenge was making sure it had enough water. I’ve had to tend vegetables that were in a clay rich soil. The sun would bake it into the consistency of ceramic pottery. Getting the weed roots out was nearly impossible so I often had to content myself with consistently chopping the weeds off at the base knowing the roots would end up dying without leaves to feed them. Except dandelions and thistles. Nothing kills them.

  I’ve taken this passage quite literally but it has brought up a question. Did the farmer not trust his workers to be careful to only remove the young weeds?

  Planks and eyes. How does that go? Before removing the speck from your neighbour’s eye, remove the plank from your own. Mathew 7:5

   Lord, what’s the connection?

 

  Sometimes I look at someone else’s garden and see only weeds. Yet, I’ve let large, thick stemmed weeds grow to be supports for climbing pea vines.

  Hmmm…there’s two ways to approach this. 

          1.Weeds are necessary for growth. 

          2.Weeds can interfere with growth.

  (Smile.) 

  So let it go and trust in God that He knows which is which! Because I don't have to. 

  I can be a worker who has been relieved of an arduous, back breaking task. If only I can learn not to pick up shovel, a hoe or a rake; the tools of judgement. AMEN!

"Listen!" Jesus said.

  “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.” Mathew 13:9

  I’ve waffled around a bit this morning trying to decide which passage to focus on from Mathew 13:1-23. This fourth selection is the one.

  The Parable of the Farmer Scattering Seed is one of several parables Jesus uses to teach His listeners. It’s some comfort to know after one such story, the Disciples asked Him to explain what the parable was saying. (Mathew 13:36) Even though they were blessed with hearing Jesus talk directly to them, their ability to understand was…hampered? Insufficient? Broken?

  If Christ’s Disciples didn’t always get the point, it begs the question, “Why?”

  What stony paths, what rocky soil, what thorns resided in their hearts?

  Only God knows; as He knows the things that block anyone from understanding Jesus’ teachings.

  Maybe asking questions is a manifestation of ear opening.

  For a while, living with a three year old’s inquisitive, seeking nature became rather frustrating. Why? Why? “Why” a thousand times over plagued the day. It didn’t take long to realize even though the question was raised there was no real listening to the answers.

  I began to ask a question back whenever a why was asked. “Why do you think it happens? What do you think?” It sparked some amazing conversations and opened the door to celebrating how fresh and new and amazing the world is when a person is only three.

  The Disciples came to Jesus like little children, hungry for understanding and knowledge.

  Admitting a lack of understanding opens ears.

  Surrendering preconceived ideas is part of this, too.

  Humility, openness, being still, being vulnerable before God lets the ears of our heart be filled with the sound of God’s truths.

  “For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whosever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” John 3:16

Taking Flight

  “Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seeds. As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them.” Mathew 13:3-4

  My son sent me a photo this morning of a bird he’d never seen before. It was a Magpie. I knew they were out west because, while living in Edmonton, Alberta, they were a common sight. A bus driver told me what they were. Ha! No Google back then…now I feel old. (Smile.)

   I’ve never seen or heard of one in Ontario although Google says they are in the north. We’ve had a good deal of snow. Maybe that’s why this one is so far south. I am not sure if they migrate. It’s been a number of years since Edmonton. Now I feel really old. (Smile again.)

  While this passage in Mathew is meant to represent faith and serve as a cautionary tale, talking about Magpies brought another passage to mind. Jesus talks about His Father caring for sparrows so we shouldn’t worry about our own provisions: God would take care of us, too. That’s in Mathew as well, 10:29-31.

  It has me reflecting on how many times a “farmer” has come into my life to scatter seed when the path was barren and rocky and hard. There have been farmers come along side to help when the weeds grew tall and thick and the way through them was lost. There have been farmers come into my life when thorns scratched and tore at my heart and soul. They have tended the wounds so well all that’s left is the faintest of scars. Farmers are good at first aid. It’s part of the job of caring for God’s creatures.

 

  I never thought I’d say this ever again, given past experiences. It is very hard to say, to admit…I...want…to...be...a farmer! (AAAGH!) But, please Lord, no actual animals!

  And something wonderful has happened!

  I am laughing now because of the sheer joy in having some of the darkest days of my life be redeemed and turned into God’s calling. There is relief, and hope…and healing as I reclaim the title for His purposes.

  To God be the glory! AMEN!

  Lord, I want to be more mindful of the people around me and be able to scatter the seeds they need to thrive and grow in life and in faith.

  Give me grace and patience because it won’t always work; the flock will not always feast. Thank you that seed scattering is just the beginning. In Jesus' name I pray. AMEN again!

SYNIEMI

  “But blessed are your eyes, because they see; and your ears, because they hear.” Mathew 13:16

    The Greek word for understand is SYNIEMI. (No clue how to pronounce it.) The word means: to put together; to assemble the pieces. It can just happen to us as a gift, but most often is the result of us doing focused, concentrated, mental work.

   I feel concentrated mental work, what I call a Triple T, always ends up with finding the gift even if it isn’t the gift I was expecting. It is those “Ah-Ha!” moments that send shivers down my spine. It may not happen right away. Sometimes it takes some wading through the muck. Or, to remain faithful to the parable of Mathew 13, it takes a lot of weed pulling, tilling the earth, and fertilizing before anything grows.

  But the thing about gardening, there is a whole lot of wait-n-see. Pausing. Anticipating. Giving planted seeds space and time to grow.

  Digging up a seed to see if it has sprouted simply doesn’t work.

  Except for a grade school experiment, where a bean seed was placed in a jar against some wet paper towel, the events underground have an element of mystery.

   The greatest mystery is how the seed gets “turned on”. What is the spark that causes it to give up its life in order to create life? Yes, seeds die. The nutrition they have within is enough to sustain a young plant until a leaf or two opens above ground to turn sunlight into sustenance. By that time, the seed is a shriveled husk that falls away. Its purpose fulfilled.

  Which takes me back to the idea of SYNIEMI, the quest for understanding…

  I’ve hit an obstacle while creatively exploring the Lazarus Story. Most of it has been fleshed out but I’ve reached the point where Jesus will return to Bethany to do His miracle of raising Lazarus from the dead. There has been a great deal of reluctance to explore or even presume to know why Jesus was troubled, angry, why He wept. For many days, I’ve pondered, wondered, opened my heart for a glimmer of understanding that could be incorporated into this part of the story.

  There have been wrestling matches with pride, insecurity, doubt, reluctance, fear, more insecurity…”What if I am wrong?” kind of things. Thorns in the flower bed.

  Or maybe I am missing the point. If my faith is a seed, God’s Word is the soil.  Maybe I don’t know Jesus well enough and this is an open door to further explorations, further revelations, more quests to SYNIEMI, to understand. Maybe that’s why I am “stuck” because there is something waiting, some “Ah-Ha!” moment, just around the corner.

  P.S.  There has been a massive change in my life through this process of meditating on God’s word. I will even go as far to say there has been a paradigm shift in my thinking and attitudes. I go to bed, anticipating what delights, what insights, what treasures will unfold with each new blog post. Even the thorns are part of it. It’s like every night has become Christmas Eve.

  By being present with God, He has opened my eyes and mind to a future of limitless possibilities. A gift I have never known.

Come Sail Away!

  “A large crowd soon gathered around him (Jesus), so he got into a boat. Then he sat there and taught as the people stood on the shore.” Mathew 13:2 JCB

  I’ve often spent time imagining what it would have been like to be one of the Twelve Disciples or even what it would have been like to be in the crowds that gathered to hear Jesus. In this passage, I always wondered why Jesus sat down. The people in the back wouldn’t have been able to see him. Hearing Him would be a challenge as well.

  But this question was answered through last Sunday’s teaching. Rabbis would sit when they taught the Torah. Jesus was a Rabbi teaching His message of the New Covenant therefore He would sit to do this.

  His temple, in this case, was a boat.

  …I spent a long moment pondering this idea; thinking about how humble a temple a boat is. There is also a realization that Christ’s temple is everywhere and anywhere Jesus draws in a person or two to hear His teaching.

  “Listen!” Mat 13:3

  Sound carries a long way near water.

  “Listen!” is an invitation to the most magnificent, royal ball ever held in any kingdom of the world. It is the invitation to enter into a Kingdom where beauty from ashes has its forever Cinderella transformation.

  “Listen!”

  And I eagerly push my way forward from the back of the crowd to hear Jesus speak life into my soul.

  If you don’t know Jesus, or even if you do, I invite you to go and sit in the boat with Him for a while and listen to all the wonderful things He has to say. May you be blessed with eyes to see and ears to hear as He softly, lovingly whispers, “Listen, my beloved child…”

Many Questions

  “The seed that fell among the thorns represents those who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life and the lure of wealth, so no fruit is produced.” Mathew 13:22

  The idea of thorns cropped up while doing some writing on the Lazarus story from the messenger’s perspective. Sent by Martha and Mary to go get Jesus, in my story he ended up running through the heat of the day. The messenger needed to get out of the sun so he rests beneath a thorny tree, seeking the shade it offered.

  While this passage in Mathew refers to thorns as being the things in life which draw us away from God, I can’t help but reflect on the Crown of Thorns my Lord wore. Having the messenger rest beneath a thorn tree was like placing him safely under the shadow of Jesus. I was pleasantly surprised by how this part of the story unfolded although I didn’t do much thinking about the significance until now.

  There’s not been much thinking about the Crown of Thorns before, either. It’s been one of those passages that have gotten glossed over as part of the Story. Is this verse a foreshadowing of Christ’s crucifixion when the life of King Jesus and all He represented was crowned by thorns?

  It’s as though the world and all the things that keep us apart from God were placing their mark on Him. If each lash He bore represented sin, is the crown an extension of that? I believe it is.

  I can’t help but wonder about the soldier who made the crown. He must have gotten stabbed a couple of times in the process. (All the photos of the type of thorn tree that grows in Israel show nasty two inch spikes.) Is this what happens when we make our own thorn crown for Christ? We end up stabbed?

  At one time I believed Jesus distant and harsh. I believed He couldn’t love me because of the things I had done, the choices I had made; thorns and more thorns.

  As a believer, I have to ponder (with some trepidation) where I continue to build this thorny crown. Where does religion still have a stronghold in my life? Do I view tithing as a cost of admission? Where is my ability to love freely and unabashedly stifled and broken? Where do I condemn? Judge? Where does feeling unworthy still claw at my soul?

  But then, when I get stabbed by these thorns of…let’s call it what it is: sin…my blood on the thorn mixes with the blood from Christ’s brow. His blood, His life, His message, becomes a transfusion of truth and hope, grace and forgiveness that fills my beating heart.

  And I am forever changed.

The Quest

  This week’s scripture is Mathew 13:1-23, the parable of the farmer planting seed. While we are encouraged to focus on the main story, found in verses 13:3-9, the rebel in me is going to focus daily on the verse that stands out after reading the entire passage:

  “He replied, ‘You are permitted to understand the secrets of the Kingdom of Heaven, but others are not.” Mathew 13:11

  There is an ongoing debate among Christians because of the command, found in 1 Corinthians 14:33-35, where women are ordered to be silent in church. This is one of the commands found in the Laws of Moses. (Keeping in mind, women were not taught the Torah or taught to read at that time.) It leaves me puzzled to some degree, how this particular Law continued to operate, and still does, in some religious circles despite the New Covenant put into place upon Jesus’ death.

  Didn’t His sacrifice on the cross disqualify the Laws of Moses? How come this Law was perpetuated after His death?

  This is one of the most hotly debated topics within Christian circles and has caused great rifts in God’s people as one stance or the other butt heads. I find this terribly sad, that we can be so divided.

  Here’s the Triple T:

  In the here and now, all believers in Jesus Christ are gifted with the Holy Spirit. Age, gender, race or education makes no difference. The Bible has been converted into many languages and even recorded so those who cannot read can hear God’s Word. Technology can be a wonderful thing!

  All who believe are granted permission and the ways and means to unlock the secrets of the Kingdom. But there is a cautionary element to this parable. The unlocking only happens through the pursuit of knowledge and understanding which is what this parable is about. We need good soil and deep roots to flourish as believers.

  Perhaps the silencing of women was to encourage them to be proactive in learning; to be like Martha’s sister Mary who sat at Jesus’ feet as He taught of His Kingdom.

  If I chose to obey the Law, due to my gender, I would have no right to blog. I would have no right to read out loud the things I have been asked to write for church, a sharing of the gift of creative writing. I would have no right to explore and discuss God’s Word with others not my spouse. (I haven't got one of those anyways.) I would only be able to listen.

  Then I have to smile. Sometimes I miss the point. But missed points are learning opportunities!

  As a new Christian, I was rather grossed out by the thought of washing someone’s stinky, smelly, feet and boldly said so at a Bible study group. I proclaimed with great pride, “I would NEVER do that!”

  Praise God, the group was full of grace and didn’t pounce on me for not knowing any better.

  Knowing better came in God’s time.

Living Giving

  “Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give.” Mathew 10:8

  I discovered another aspect of giving last night. Or at least my understanding was reframed. Since I am on worship this week, some flute and vocal practice was needed. After running through the songs by playing along with the original performances, I left the music playing.

  It ended up being a personal time of worship as I sang along, giving my voice over to celebrating the Lord’s presence.

  It drove home the biggest part of giving.

  All that I have, all that I am belongs to God. It isn’t mine. Not a dot.

  Every act of giving is an act of surrender.

  To give financially is to surrender the control of our finances over to God, who will provide more than we will ever need. (Smile.) I am not very good at this because I admit to having a great deal of fear when it comes to my bank balance. In time…Lord, in time I know You will erase the fear from my heart. Thank You that I have need for a bank.

  Every act of giving is an act of sacrifice.

  Letting go of any personal agenda is part of that sacrifice. Okay. That, too, needs some practice. Your will, Lord, not mine.

  Every act of giving is a blessing.

  No matter how small. Holding the door open for someone, a smile…the little things we do. The giving doesn’t have to be earth shattering…but it, our kindness, does shatter the earthly power of our enemy.

  Every act of giving is an offering of gratitude.

  For having something to give, no matter how small.

  Every act of giving is love in action.

  There are areas of giving I struggle with because for a long time I gave everything away right down to my identity, thinking this would make another happy. I am still trying to fully understand the dynamics of Kingdom living.  And, I have to say, there is still a whole lot of mystery. So maybe the trying to understand is like creating an agenda, a timetable…Hmmm…it would appear it’s time to give over control to God.

  Again.

  (Smile.)

Here and Now

“And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then the end will come.” Mathew 24:14

                                  

  It’s wonderful how discussions with fellow believers can challenge us to think about what we believe. It’s wonderful how discussions with non-believers can challenge us to think about what we believe.

  Or maybe that’s one of the core attributes of faith: we need to think about what we believe. And I have to smile. Our beliefs are a living thing. What I knew and believed as a baby Christian, born fourteen years ago today has changed.

  I am not talking about the foundation knowledge that Jesus is Lord, that God’s only Son died for us so we can be reconciled to our Father. That’s why I am a Christian. Although, there are a lot of negative attributes assigned to that identifier because of historic events so I often simply refer to myself as a follower of Jesus.

  Sometimes I am not very good at it.

  Which leads me to today’s triple T. (Thinking Things Through.)

  Kingdom life is more than what awaits me when I die. That’s what I thought fourteen years ago. This idea has been slowly worn away as I have experienced God’s hand directly involved in all aspects of my life. God’s Kingdom is for the living. Heaven is merely a different floor.

 

  But what does that mean? What does that look like?

  I have been freed. Sometimes I am not very good at living in this freedom.

  Life before Jesus was focused on the accumulation of wealth for wealth’s sake. Life before Jesus was one of servitude, not service. Life before Jesus was…That’s enough. I don’t want to get bogged down in the past.

  Life with Jesus is living each and every precious, now moment!

  What else?

  It is very hard to put the intangible into words.

  I have been able to let go of the pursuit of happiness. That’s it!  

  The pursuit being all those external things done to “make me happy” that end up falling flat once achieved.

  Well, almost. It’s a learning curve that has to do with the idea of me needing to feel in control. That is an ongoing learning process. (Smile.) 

  This is not the same as doing something because I enjoy doing it. Especially when it utilizes the gifts God gave me.

  And here's the finale. The Kingdom cheer. "To God be the Glory forever and ever, AMEN!"

  

Mission Not So Impossible

  “And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then the end will come.” Mathew 24:14

  We were given a large section of Scriptures in Sunday’s teaching; too large to meditate on all at once. This was one part of it: mission. It’s an amazing lesson about surrendering, generosity and mission available at www.themeetinghouse.com. “The Time is Now.”

  When I listened to the mission section, what stood out was the idea of surrendering my own agenda. You know, those times when certain things are said and done with the expectation it will turn out exactly like I planned. It’s easy to tell when it’s my own agenda. When circumstances don’t fall into line or when a person doesn’t do what I expect of them I get frustrated; all because that’s me putting my own timeline on the situation.  

  Agenda making is also expecting specific results. It’s expecting someone else to arrive at the same conclusion or to respond based how I think they should. It’s placing my understanding, ethics, morals, faith, and experiences on their soul. It’s taking over what belongs to God.

  Here’s the big question of the day, “Why do I do it?”

 

  Ohhhh. I need only look at what being a parent involves. (Laugh.) Talk about having an agenda!

  It’s also a cultural thing, a societal practice. There are a multitude of experiences of having someone else’s agenda surround my actions and choices. Yes, structure is important. So is discipline. But when another’s agenda crushes identity, when it crushes the ability to have choices, there is something seriously wrong happening.

  It would appear I need to invoke the mighty duo: repentance and forgiveness.

  A long pause.

  Thank You, Lord, for Your grace. Thank You as well that You will redeem my misguided actions of the past, those of the present and guaranteed, I will need You to do this in the future. Protect me from the good intentions of an agenda because they are not part of Your Kingdom, they are not GOD intentions. Let me be sensitive to Your leading in all my interactions with people. In Jesus’ name I pray. AMEN!

About! Face!

  “Heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy, and cast out demons. Give as freely as you have received!” Mathew 10:8

  Freely give just like it was given to us. It’s a morning meditation of conviction. (Not condemnation. There’s a huge difference between the two.)

  I know I fall short of this perfect giving. Regularly…the unresolved hurts, anger and sometimes plain ole pettiness and stinginess get in the way. These are seasoned with judgment, the human tendency to decide who is worthy or who is not. Our judgments are based on that person’s conduct, clothing, gender, education, how they speak, religion, race, eye colour, beauty, ability or disability…It is easy to find a reason for someone to be “Less than”.

  Jesus is the Great Equalizer.

  Here’s the thing. Judgment is so much a part of the fabric of humanity (thanks to an apple) that most of the time we don’t even know it’s happening. Myself included.

  Exposure is a great teacher. Stepping outside our circle of comfort can be eye opening. It can help transform the “them and us” to “we.” Taking the time to listen to someone’s story is like pouring worth into someone’s life.

  So is taking the time to think about all the blessings Jesus has poured into our own lives. Acceptance. Redemption. The blessings of grace, of forgiveness and of compassion…

  Gag! That’s religion at its worst! Platitudes and attitudes. 

  Sorry about that. Here am I, judging all the people who judge! (Smile.)

  I’ll climb down from the pulpit now because I think I am missing something here. Perhaps all that blathering is an effort to justify my own reactions and behaviours. The big “buts” that stop me from pouring out the love of Jesus that every part of my being knows is continuously pouring in. And it’s not just pouring in, it resides within! 

  Maybe it’s because I haven’t learned how to receive this outpouring from God. Maybe it’s because I turn a deaf ear to the leading of God’s Spirit. Maybe it’s because there are still places I judge myself as unworthy of all the gifts. Maybe it’s like I am holding a giant, judgment sieve over my soul, straining out the best parts of this life I have with Jesus.

  I have to smile again. There is no “maybe” about it. These are things I am doing.

   Abba, forgive me.

  Lord, there are many places I wish to see grow and mature. Help me turn head knowledge into actions of the heart.  In Jesus’ name I pray. AMEN!

Deep, Down and Personal.

  “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me, you can do nothing.” John 15:5

 

 There was a bit of an unsettling blip on Thursday. After blogging, as I get ready for work, I begin running through the morning list of what needs to be done after getting there. It’s all mundane stuff like putting the coffee on, cleaning the washroom and floors and whatever else needs cleaning. Nothing earth shattering but it helps to mentally organize their priority. When I arrived, the student who is doing their placement with us had been there a while and had done most of what was on my mental list.

  It threw me for a loop. I felt adrift and disconnected…lost as the plans I’d made went to dust; lost as my workday’s typical routine was literally swept away.

  As the morning wore on, these disrupting feelings ended up in panic attack territory. It grew more difficult to breathe, like someone was sitting on my chest. The tears were prickling at my eyes. My head buzzed. My vision grew blurry. All major warning signs that I was about to lose it.

 Thank You, Lord for medicine. A just-in–case-of-emergency pill quickly takes the edge off without turning me into a drooling idiot. I took one rather than heading home as my boss had offered. (Susan 1: Anxiety 0.)The prescription has been in my purse for at least a couple of years. Out of thirty tablets, this might have been the tenth one actually taken. Just knowing they are accessible has often helped overcome anxiety overload.

  Thank You, as well, it rarely gets this bad anymore. What once was a more than daily occurrence has slowly been whittled down to a rare event.

  Leading to this point had been several days of different. I worked more last week, including travelling to and attending work’s Annual Information Meeting one evening. It had been followed by a busy weekend. Wednesday had been our staff meeting…it’s all “normal” stuff.

  The Lord knows I don’t do well when routine is disrupted.

  The question for today is, “Lord, how can spontaneity or unexpected changes simply become part of the ebb and flow of my life? Yes, all change creates a certain amount of anxiety though rarely as bad as what happened two days ago. Why is routine so important to my mental wellness?”

  Even before I asked the questions, I heard the answer, “It’s all about having control or being afraid of losing control.”

  And control is an illusion, isn’t it? Especially since the foe I battle is an internal PTSD monster waiting to pounce. But, Lord, routine squashes it flat! That’s why it is so important!

  Let’s be honest here, I hate not being able to control my body’s fight/flight response and my emotions. I hate being left feeling powerless. Mostly I hate that the past has left me having to deal with all of this.

  But then, routine becomes my own cage doesn’t it? I am just as trapped by it as the monster.

  Forgive my pride, Lord, and show me how to let the cage bars become the Vine that holds me safe; the Vine that will enable me to be at peace though all life’s changes and storms and even through the mundane surprises that happen every day.

   Maybe we need to start with just how angry I am about the whole thing…

  Even so, I can give thanks the meds are a way of exerting power over the beast. Just as staying at work was, too.

  Praise God! Being in a cage is not the same as running away.

And He in us.

  “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

  I have to wonder what Jesus is talking about when He says we can do nothing apart from Him. I know any number of people who do good things, are kind, talented and generous yet don’t believe in God.

  Is that the difference with having Christ in us? While doing good makes me feel good, I am able to fully acknowledge having this ability is solely because of the grace of God and it’s to His glory. Not mine.

  He is the provider of the means to give financially.

  He is the one who has been with me during the dark days on the Black River. Those difficult times have given me a wealth of experience. Those experiences enable me to help others and to have gainful employment. Again, it’s all because of Him.

  It’s because of Him I found Him in the first place! Without God, I wouldn’t be here at all.

  It’s only through His strength I joined the worship team. That’s giving, sharing musical abilities so that others can connect to Christ through music. Without God, my flute would still be tucked away in a drawer. Years of practice squandered.

  When I was younger, I was a fairly good, technical organ player but someone had to tell me where to make a piece loud or soft, where to add expression. Oh, I enjoyed playing but now, my soul feels the music. God did that: unlocked my heart with the gift of access to a baby grand piano and hours spent alone playing for an audience of One. When emotions run deep, I play. This is a gift yet to be shared even though the worship leader asked me if I’d play piano back up. I declined because it’s only been in the last little while that I have begun to truly enjoy making a joyful noise to the Lord. (Joy 1- Anxiety 0. Go! Team Jesus! Go!)

    The art and writing have undergone the same processes of evolution. What started as a way to connect to God as a desperate, broken woman has matured into opportunities to bless others.

  God led me into truth. Through that journey, which is an ongoing one, I end up right back at His feet every single time. Back to God who is the Source of all I do; the Source of all I am.

   Fruit. If I was to continue writing, there would be pages and pages of where the Lord has changed my life and enabled this life to overflow, to be a blessing. Because of Jesus.

  And all of us are. Blessings. All of us have different gifts, different abilities. All of us have different passions and desires.

 

  Our worth does not lay in what we do.

  What we do has worth.

  And maybe that's the difference between those good people who don't believe in God and those of us who do.

  With great humility and all honour, I say, "Glory be to God. The Author and Finisher of my faith."

And I in them.

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” Mathew 15:5

  Apart: isolated, disconnected, removed, away. Horrible words that are no longer part of my vocabulary in reference to Jesus Christ. In fact, they aren’t part of my life at all. Well, mostly. Some days I can still feel this way but not as often as I used to. Praise God!

  Remain: stay, dwell, live, reside, rest…jeweled facets of a life with Jesus as Lord. Homecoming words. Words that envelope the life of faith that has sustained me, which continues to sustain me. More praises to God!

 

  When Jesus went in to the garden of Gethsemane to pray before He was arrested then later crucified, He left His disciples for a while after asking them to pray for Him. They fell asleep. Apart from Jesus, they were unable to do as He asked.

  Apart from Jesus, they denied they knew Him. They fled in fear of their lives after He was arrested. Judas hung himself. (That part always makes me sad because he would never know the love and grace of God.)

  But things irrevocably changed at the Feast of Pentecost. Those who believed were given the Holy Spirit, the third person of God. Since then, all who choose to believe have this gift bestowed on them…no, it’s bestowed in them. And He came bearing gifts.

  Wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miracles, prophecy, discerning of spirits, speaking in tongues and interpretation of tongues according to 1 Corinthians 12:8-10. I suppose that’s the technical side, the doing side of things but, for me, the Holy Spirit has helped me learn to love, to forgive, and to let go. He is the constantly present manifestation of God’s perfect love.

  Everything He does in my life points to Jesus, the Teacher, and the lover of my soul. Even when I fall asleep. (That happens a lot…smile.)

  This fills me with an uncontainable upwelling of gratitude. It is so great, I have no words.

  Gratitude can’t help but happen when we realize we will never, ever, ever be alone again.