Up Rising

   "If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home. For He will order His angels to protect you wherever you go." Psalm 91:9-11

  It feels rather odd to be going through a teenage rebellion at 59 years of age. I didn't do it then. It's time to do it now. 

  I didn't do it then because fear ruled my life. It's time to do it now because God's way is far better. 

  I didn't do it then because I was a people pleaser to the nth degree. It's time to do it now because I am letting go of feeling responsible for other people's emotions.

  I have no intentions of spitefully hurting others or being intentionally rude. It simply isn't in me. Although...there are times...no...it still isn't in me because I know how much it hurts.

  Teenage rebellion is something all teenagers should do to a certain degree. That's when young adults find themselves and their place in the world. That's when they begin to assert their autonomy and independence. Why is this even called rebellion? I mean, seriously, why?

  Yah...a teenage brain isn't completely formed yet so some of their decisions mightn't be the wisest but isn't making mistakes all part of becoming an adult? Heck, even adults make poor choices!

  I am not saying a teenager should rule the roost. Life comes with boundaries and responsibilities and consequences. Although if these haven't been learned by the time the teens hit, it's a bit late to start.

  That's all I am going to say about raising teenagers because one method doesn't work across the board. There are so many factors to consider.

  If a teen's foundation is strong, chances are they will make wise and forward thinking decisions. If they are secure in the knowledge they are loved, they will be confident and caring people.

  In a perfect world, we all would have been given this gift right from the very beginning.

  It's not a perfect world. 

   

  Rebellions happen for a reason. Just look at history, at the times the oppressed took up arms against their oppressors. It didn't always work out so well because the oppressed would become the oppressors like in communist countries. 

  Which is exactly how the devil wants it. Oppression is a wedge to drive us away from God.

  I am rebelling against the world's "standards" and heading straight into the arms of Jesus.

  Because it is important to nurture and protect the blessings God has placed in the fabric of my being.

  Because oppression's offspring is fear.

  I am sorry for this being so repetitious but it's important to keep telling myself this, to shore up my own foundations in the love of God. What I imagine happening will and can become actions.

  I took a bold step a couple of days ago during the morning check in with Gina Livy on FB. I shared about the blog and being a writer! It was utterly terrifying. It filled me with second guessing about my motives: was this pride?

  The response from one of the moderators was utterly amazing. There is always someone monitoring participants comments and posts to answer questions but more importantly, to encourage, affirm and support the changes everyone is making in their lives.

  This is so much more than just a diet, folks, it's about our life's fabric. 

  The moderator's kind and life giving words mended a massive tear in mine.

  She was astounded I've been doing this for eleven years! Not only that, she called it an incredible achievement! 

  What?!

  I'd never thought of it as an achievement, it was simply something I do. 

  If only we could see ourselves as others see us; as God sees us.

  Someone important in my life told me a while back that reading the blog made them upset. My response was that they shouldn't read it then. But, the old niggling guilt, the old need to do anything to make them feel better has tainted what I do here. Not that it's stopped me from being utterly honest but the voice of oppression has been nagging me to be careful about what's written in case it hurts someone.

  On Thursday, I spent time creating postcards around this burden of false responsibility. I thought about the blog and why I think it's important. 

  On top of the postcards, I began to draw post it notes to cover them. There ended up being about twenty or so post its. It was healing to see the poisonous post cards get buried in yellow. This enabled me to realize that what I do here just might be making a difference.

  The one that is the most important of all mended even more tears in the fabric of my soul.

  "Maybe I write because God planted the words in my heart before I was born."

  So, yes, I am proud of what I do here and in the art. They fill my life with jaw dropping amazement and eyes-wide-open awe of what God is capable of doing. He's even using a 59 year old teenage rebel! AMEN!

  PS with a big smile....there's a soundtrack for this adventure! A song from my actual teens...The Parachute Club's "Rise Up"