"Just say a simple 'Yes, I will,' or 'No, I won't.' Anything beyond this is from the evil one." Matthew 5:37
It's day 39 of the Gina Livy program. She calls this the messy middle for a number of reasons. Being bored with the food is one of them but that doesn't apply to me. Food has never tasted so good, the menu has ample variety, and I am learning to listen to what my body wants and needs as far as meals are concerned. Smoked oysters have become a frequent and favorite lunchtime protein. Their smoky, saltiness compliments a plateful of vegies, greens and healthy fats like avocado and hemp hearts.
There's frustration for people who aren't losing any weight yet because maybe it's taking their bodies longer to heal from past abuses (aka starvation dieting.) This, too, doesn't apply to me. I'm down eleven pounds and can feel and see my body changing shape.
Eleven pounds doesn't mesh with the 2 1/2 inches I've lost around my waist. Makes me glad I added taking measurements to the journey. That's the victory here. I think what's happening is my body is getting rid of the fat where it is most harmful. It's cleaning house around my organs to improve their ability to function. Pretty cool, that.
Then there is staying on track with drinking enough. Some people struggle to get the water in. I am blessed to have well water at home so there's no chlorine in it. Can't stand town water. It smells like a swimming pool. It's no wonder it's hard for people to drink! We purchased a Brita water filter jug at work because the coffee tasted awful when there's chlorine contamination. It also serves to keep my water cup full when I am there.
I've been slowly upping the amount I drink because it's been record breaking hot this spring. I never imagined what a difference it makes staying hydrated. Gotta help the body clean house!
Much of the program is about being mindful of what the body is saying. That's part of the messy middle and how hard it is for people. We are supposed to ask a series of four questions before, during and after we eat. I've not been very good at this but, having become so attuned to my mental state of mind and how it affects my body, I simply need to pause in the moment and pay attention to my stomach. It's just another layer of awareness.
My friend and I have signed up for the fall program. After I did this, I realized I need to cement my, "Why?" What is my reason for doing all these things?
I think I shared about how my anxiety issues have plummeted. There's been a couple of spikes but with everything going on at work with the move, it's understandable. The worst one was at a church fundraiser/picnic last Sunday. I arrived and within moments the screamin' heebie jeebies set in. Everything was terribly loud so I made the choice to go home instead of forcing myself to ride it out like I usually do. I am learning that it's okay to listen to my body and make the decisions that are appropriate for me.
There's a huge difference between running away and making a conscious decision.
I think this is part of my why: gaining confidence. By doing the program, I realize I can make healthy choices based on what my needs are. No apologies are needed if it is health related, mental or otherwise. Or maybe that's more of a non scale victory.
If I were to put my "why" into one sentence, what would it be?
This mind, body and soul are a temple of the Holy Spirit. I take care of my garden outside, the garden inside needs to be nourished and respected.
Lord, forgive me for having treated this body with zero respect. Thank You, for all the wonderful things it does! Thank You for helping me stay on track even when I might find myself in my own messy middle at some point down the road. Help me stay the course.
And maybe that's my why...God wants this for me. He lead the way to healing from the deep mental and emotional wounds. This vessel, this run down, dilapidated temple needs the same love and commitment of my time and resources. God's timing is impeccable because I am well enough to take this on.
Glory be to God! AMEN!
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