Martha

   "But the Lord said to her, 'My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her. " Luke 10:41-42

  The story of Lazarus and his sisters, Mary and Martha, is one of my favorites. I have been able to relate each of the three characters at various points in my journey. 

  Today is a Martha day.

  She's the one who complained to Jesus when her sister, Mary, wasn't helping in the kitchen. They had a houseful of guests but all Mary was doing was sitting at the feet of Jesus! That's when Jesus told her that Mary was just fine where she was and that Martha should just chill about it. He even went as far as to say that Mary was doing the right thing.

  There's always something more to learn in revisiting familiar stories. 

  I have always understood that Jesus wasn't reprimanding her for her dedication to serving her guests, he was inviting her to sit with him, learn from him, and be with him. Except today, it goes a bit further. 

  Jesus was also asking her to break from cultural traditions. He was asking her to break free of gender expectations around what Jewish women are supposed to do when a houseful of guests lands at their door. When you think of all the Jewish dietary Laws around food preparation and serving, she would be extremely careful to uphold all these Laws so none of her guests would inadvertently sin against God.

  That's a lot of responsibility, isn't it? It's Laws with a capital 'L!'

  There's nothing further said about what happened after Jesus spoke with Martha. I've always been curious. Did she hang up her apron and sit with Mary? Did she resent Jesus for not taking her side? Did she stomp back into the kitchen? Was she confused by the challenge to give up her understanding of her place in the world? Was she unable to let that go? Was she angry that the world, the Law, and her gender had bound her up so tight?

  I often wonder what happened inside her heart and soul over the next little while.

  Regardless of the mental and emotional wrestling that happened, this brief conversation with Jesus ended up being a catalyst that changed her priorities. The proof is later when her brother Lazarus died. Martha left the house during the allotted time of mourning when Jewish Law demanded family stay sequestered. It was more important to go to Jesus, to lay her sorrow, her grief at His feet. 

  It must have shocked the other mourners something fierce! Can you hear them? 

  "Martha, you aren't allowed to leave! It's against the Law! Stop! Come back! God won't like this neither will the Pharisees! You are going to get into trouble! It will take an entire bull to pay for your sin of breaking the Law! What's wrong with you? You were brought up better than this!"

  This time, Mary followed her.

  Gina's program has me very aware I've got my own set of mourners hollering in the background. Only they are saying things like this:

  "Susan, you aren't allowed to change! It's against all expectations! Stop! Go back to who you were! Nobody will like you if you change! You are going to get into trouble with the people in your life! You have no right! What's wrong with you? You were brought up better than this!"

  Man, they're a noisy bunch. And so full of it.

  Oh. 

  I've already walked away from a "friend" who sang this chorus. It's a good thing. It's the right thing to have done. (That was last year but I've wrestled with guilt and self doubt about it ever since.)

   But, I followed Jesus who gave me the strength to walk away and stay away from a toxic relationship despite how loud the chorus sang. There were others who joined the song afterwards and condemned this choice but, praise God, I have a stalwart friend who helped me stay strong; to uphold what I absolutely had to do. I just haven't shared with her how much it's plagued me.

  I need to practice letting go of feeling responsible for how others feel. 

  I need to throw away the life lesson that I am supposed to be responsible for this in the first place. I remember assessing my ex the moment he walked through the door. Like a bloodhound on a scent, in milliseconds I knew exactly what mood I was in for. My behaviours and responses were shaped by his temper, for the need to keep the peace, keep him happy, at all costs. Shame on me for doing anything less!

  It would seem these neural pathways are about to get plowed under. Thank God! 

  But Lord, what is the plow made of? How do I fight this, stop this, automatic, ingrained behaviour and attitude?

  

  Truth. Be true to the woman I made you to be, I paid for you to be.

  Love, God.