"Epaphras, a member of your own fellowship and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends you his greetings. He always prays earnestly for you, asking God to make you strong and perfect, fully confident that you are following the whole will of God." Colossians 4:12
Home Town, a favorite reno show, was on TV last night. Erin Napier, one of the hosts, spent time with a client's child so they could create a painting. It was to be framed and hung on the gramma's bedroom wall. Erin is a professionally trained artist and designer who later shared with her TV audience that she wished she could paint as freely as a child.
She is incredibly talented and I was left feeling rather sad for her that she felt her artwork was less than perfect. Yet, she consistently sits in the discomfort of being unsure to allow creative expression to show itself.
Hmm...discomfort. Much of what we do is a quest to alleviate discomfort: from comfy furnishings, to clothing, to pain killers, to miracle pills for weight loss. Advertisers know this well about us.
Can I say that there's nothing wrong with feeling uncomfortable? Absolutely.
Can I offer some reassurance that the discomfort won't last? No, I can't do that because discomfort is a foe who will try different tactics to stop us moving closer to God or worse, stop us from exploring the gifts he has given us.
Is discomfort the critic's child? Yup.
Staying in the place of discomfort is a foreign concept for we humans who strive to eradicate discomfort from our lives.
What might happen by sitting alongside our discomfort for a bit? What if we sit here with a pencil in hand and wait and watch and listen? No, you won't die. (Smile.) You might find life!
As someone living with PTSD, "out there" is a source of huge discomfort. Hypervigilance is an almost constant state of existence. I made a choice many years ago to not let it win. I didn't want to let the trauma fueled, broken brain, panic attack potential risk steal my freedom. Does it limit me? Yes. I choose my battles carefully.
My first trip to Costco with a friend was a nightmare. By keeping her in my sights, I was able to somewhat ignore the "danger" of the crowds. Nevertheless, I was utterly exhausted when we left.
Costco trips have gotten easier over time as the hypervigilance eases but I doubt I will ever go there alone. God knows.
Just having a friend alongside when I go new places has made all the difference in the world. It makes me wonder how I ever did it alone. Not that I was. It just felt that way.
What does Paul say? Our wholeness and perfection lay in following the will of God. It's not in the things we create, nor the items we own or the places we go. It can't be found in our clothing or hairstyle.
Maybe we only need to be cognizant of our imperfections while trying, practicing, and allowing the Spirit to lead us to becoming more like Jesus. What's say we start with grace?
Lord, as long as I live on the earth, everything I do or say or create will be imperfect. Don't let this stop me from drawing nearer to You: the Lord of my life who will perfect all my ways and make them straight. AMEN!
PS. I have been toying with the idea of including a small art exercise with each post about the Art of Prayer. If you want to explore something, draw a circle. Did you know our hand's anatomy makes it impossible for it to be perfectly round? Ovals are easier.
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