"Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth!" Psalm 86:11
Vulnerability: the act of being vulnerable.
The Oxford dictionary defines it as being susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm. It's no wonder vulnerability is seen as a negative trait. But, here's the thing about God's Kingdom, he turns the world's ways on its head.
As I flipped through the Psalms this morning looking for a Scripture verse, I realized the author, King David, painted pictures through his words. I realized David bared his soul before God in these written prayer/poems. I wonder if, when he wrote them, he would have ever dreamed they would have an impact on a woman sitting at her kitchen table in the year 2023. (Smile.) Or would he be mortified at the thought I am able to catch a glimpse of his inner, broken self? Would he be ashamed that I have seen how angry and bitter he can be at times? Would he be embarrassed by having put his heart on paper at all?
The poignant honesty of the Psalms played a huge role in guiding me into a posture of vulnerability before God. If a King can bare his soul to God, why can't I?
Oxford doesn't want us to know vulnerability is a gift. Oxford doesn't want us to know being connected to our emotions is crucial for our well being. Most of all, Oxford doesn't want us to tap into those emotions in order to create something beautiful or sad or ugly or joyful. Oxford wants us to be afraid to venture into a posture that only leads to freedom from the likes of Oxford.
For those of us who have experienced broken trust, being vulnerable doesn't come naturally. For those of us who swallowed our emotions as a matter of survival, unlocking them can be a frightening prospect.
We are born vulnerable. The foundation of our existence is one of needing others to meet our needs. Guaranteed, people failed us and forced us to take care of ourselves. Some of us far too soon.
And Jesus wept.
Here's the thing, though, vulnerability is an expression of hope! No wonder Oxford doesn't want us to go there.
It's why David did so much writing. Even the despairing Psalms are lifted up to God in the hope that he would find healing and closure.
Are you willing to do the same?
Are you willing to try?
Just so you know, it will get easier with time and practice.
Maybe today you could take a few minutes to draw a picture of a place or an item that holds good memories. It's like dipping toes into the life giving waters of vulnerability.
Lord, thank you for giving me a new definition for vulnerability: being open to emotional truth and healing. AMEN!
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