Prov 31, Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to work...

  “She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.” Proverbs 31:17

  Then I think of women who, for any number of reasons, aren’t physically able to do all they were once able to take on. I think of the struggles to find a sense of worth when an aging body no longer does all it is supposed to do. I think of women born with broken bodies who can’t live up to this ideal. They, too, struggle with finding worth and value. (I think these are issues men wrestle with, too.)

  It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact my anxiety disorder means I cannot do all I once did and that this, somehow, made me lazy and incompetent. I also wrestled with the idea that physical inability was somehow connected to mental inadequacy. Worst of all was the toxic idea that, by curtailing my activities out of necessity, I had failed to live according to my faith.

  If only I believed more! If only I trusted God more. If only…things would be as they once were.

  But then, that wasn’t really living. It was a life of existing from chore to chore absent from God, absent from emotions, absent from thought. The doing was the being.

  This old way of living was far removed from the heart of God who now provides me with energy when I find myself overextended. He gives me the strength to rest; to battle the foe that says resting is lazy.

  So where does this leave hard work? It is still very much part of my life as I enthusiastically pursue knowledge, wisdom and understanding through God’s Word. This is far more of a joy than laborious.

  While I no longer have to toss 80kg bags of feed around, I work hard to hone my craft as a writer, an artist, a musician. I work hard to better myself as a peer support worker. I work hard to learn about the dynamics of friendships, of relationships and emotions. I work hard to discover the subtle nuances of setting boundaries. I work hard at staying well.

  I work extra hard to make grace and forgiveness as much a part of my life as breathing. That takes practice, too.

  But none of this is actually hard work at all because God has filled my soul with a passion that flows out from the belief Jesus is Lord. So why is this passage being regarded as a description of a physical ideal? How come hard work is equated with sweat on the brow? Perhaps, as the perspiration drips off the end of the nose, it’s obvious that the work is hard.

  So, in all of this, I’ve uncovered something. Firstly, a fresh understanding of what hard work can look like. Also revealed is a skewed understanding that has me not only judging myself, but other women as well. Physical inability does not devalue anyone! God forgive me for thinking this way. God forgive those who taught me this was true. And I think I need to forgive them as well. AMEN!