Prov 31 Old into New

  “Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: ‘There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all.’” Proverbs 31:28-29

  Virtue is behaviour showing high moral standards. There is a long list of virtue’s synonyms such as: goodness, righteousness, morality, uprightness, integrity, dignity, honesty, honour, decency, respectability, nobility, worthiness, trustworthiness, purity and more. (Thanks, Google.) I could almost do a blog post about each one!

  I’d like to think I’ve mastered them all (smile). It’s a good thing humility isn’t on this list which raises another smile because that’s being silly. To have all these attributes of virtue is to embrace humility because, as a New Testament woman, I both need and have Jesus to teach me and help me attain such high moral standards.

  I like that idea…a New Testament woman. 

  Morality is possible because I have known grace. As much as I have been hurt by others, I have also doled out my own share of hurting. There are times I have not been noble or decent or good. It’s a humbling exercise to admit it, to confess these things before God yet it is a healing one, too.

  To know and to accept the forgiveness of God does something within our hearts that is beyond words. 

  Is forgiveness virtue in action? I wonder…

  Is this list of virtue synonyms a revelation of Jesus’ identity? Is Jesus the embodiment of perfect virtue?

  Oh, yes!

  And more than anything I want to emulate Him. I want to be the New Testament woman He calls me to be. I want to be worthy of being His bride because nothing, nothing, would please me more than hearing His praise.

 

 

 

  PS: In light of everything that has been explored in Proverbs 31, isn’t it interesting that “industrious” isn’t on the list of virtue synonyms?

Prov 31 When?

    “When she speaks her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.” Proverbs 31:26

    As much as yesterday’s post was about the future, I firmly believe most of a life lived with Jesus is about the here and now; about being present with God in all things. 

  Or maybe this is about the future, too. I am not always kind even though I try. Is it possible that envisioning a future, kinder self could set things in motion towards that end? Where are the areas that could use some refining?

  Smile. The envisioning is for my benefit. God already knows all things about me! It’s a prayer, really; an admission of brokenness and an invitation for grace to heal the same. Why am I not being kind?

  All this was written rather slowly and thoughtfully because I want to be careful with my words. It’s so easy to get on the self-hate wagon, to feel that everything inside is flawed. I’ll call this devil territory because it serves his purpose to keep us feeling unloved and unlovable. Apart. This is so NOT true!

  What is true is our identity has to be one of the most fluid aspects of our humanity. Yes, we are blessed with core attributes that shape our perspectives, our ideals and actions. I think, I feel, that the fluidity is the ability to grow far beyond labels of definition or those defining experiences that have the ability to twist truth. It’s about embracing our otherness.

  I write about them a lot. Labels I mean. They have a way of stirring up resentment. I will never be a stereotypical woman who shops for the sheer pleasure of shopping. It’s not fun. It never has been. But give me a hardware store...(Smile.)

  Ah, yes. Stereotypes. Nasty things.

  How many of us actually fit into those boxes? How many of us try to fit someone else into our own stereotypical ideas? I do. Regularly. They can be sneaky but education, new experiences, and understanding have a way of breaking the molds.

  So does silence. So does prayer.

  There’s a key word in this passage, “When.”

  It’s an encouragement to be thoughtful, mindful, of the words we speak. It’s a laying down of our intentions or even the well meant desire to fix or find solutions. (Smile.) I guess my struggles aren’t necessarily what others struggle with. Praise God!

  “When,” is an invitation to wait upon the Lord so that the heart of God becomes the source of our words and actions.

Prov 31 A Time to Share

  “She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future.” Proverbs 31:25

  I have been looking forward to these last sections of Proverbs 31 because this is the verse that has been hanging on my bedroom wall for a year now. 

  I confessed to my small group a couple weeks ago about the struggles I have envisioning a future. It is part of the Post Traumatic Stress/Depression package, this inability to imagine the possibilities of a tomorrow. Seeing as I had a mild form of depression since age seven, learning to dream about the future is like learning a foreign language.

  This is more difficult than learning about emotions. Those, too, were impacted by the blanketing effects of depression but, in a way, they were easier to explore because emotions are immediate. They are in the present moment. My emotions have been freed (praise God!) and are now experienced in all their wonderful, amazing fullness. It took quite a while to be able to identify them.

  Emotions are a beautiful thing in their complexity, their subtle nuances and flavours. Joy can be tinged with melancholy. Sadness can have laughter hidden within. There’s truth to the metaphor, “a stew of emotions,” because that’s what they often are!

  Hmmm…stop avoiding the topic, Sue!  Yup, that’s what it was, avoiding thinking about thinking about the future. (A rueful smile.)

  I need to be honest.

  This is no laughing matter.

  The towering wall keeping tomorrow dreams away is built by a legacy of loss, of broken promises and illness. And, yes, fear. Fear of hoping. Fear of dreaming. Fear of failure. Fear of responsibility. Fear of betrayal and abandonment. Fear of suffering. Fear of the Black River. Let’s toss in callous indifference and despondency because of these overwhelming fears…why bother?

  It’s not for me to dream.

  That’s a lie!

  (A long pause.)

  Acknowledging the lie is the first step of empowerment, of reclaiming what is rightfully mine as a child of God. He has for me a tomorrow that surpasses anything I could ever imagine! Yet, Lord, I do need to imagine don’t I? Imagining possibilities is an exercise of trust and hope and faith! 

  God, forgive me for believing this lie! Set my imagination free! Let me leave fear in the dust where it belongs. Let me live according to the very first journal entry/prayer I wrote as a new Christian:

I am but a seeker.

With His hand holding mine,

I can do great things,

I will do great things,

Glory be to God!

Nov. 2004

 

  Hoo-rah!

  

  PS. In proof reading today's post, I got laughing over the opening sentence...It would appear I have the ability to anticipate and delight in what is yet to come!! Who knew? A baby step is a step after all.

Prov 31 No Use for Rags

  “She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants.” Proverbs 31:24

  I am assuming that a garment, being belted, makes it more valuable. Being able to afford a sash instead of a mere belt would make this a product for the wealthy. The labour involved has already been talked about and celebrated as a virtue in this section of Proverbs. Gathering the wool, spinning the yarn, weaving the cloth makes it a laborious endeavor.

  Linen is a product of flax. (Thanks Google.) Separating the plant fibres into useful strands is physically demanding. Flax must be crushed to break apart the outer shell of the stalks. They are then dragged through a comb to produce long, silky strands of fibre that can be spun into yarn. There were no machines to do these onerous chores.

  The point has been made many times over. Industry is an ideal attribute for a Proverbs 31 woman. So is the pursuit of wealth and business. At its foundation is the idea of service and serving, a concept that would impart itself into every aspect of life through the birth and death of Jesus Christ.

  Here, love replaces obedience. Obedience in Christ is an act of love, not law.

  I confess to not being very good at it. (Smile.) I guess Jesus is still battering away at my hard, outer shell. (Another smile.)And I submit most willingly to the process…most of the time.

  At church yesterday, the Hebrew word “Haphak” was explained as part of a sermon on Jonah. Like many English words, it has multiple meanings.

  1. Turned over.

  2. Destroyed

  3. Changed/transformed.

  While they have been listed as different, I feel the three definitions are actually an intrinsic part of each other.

  Take flax for example. To be transformed into fibre, it must be destroyed. The plant must die to itself and steps taken for its inner beauty to reveal itself. An ugly, coarse plant has within its heart soft fibres that shimmer and gleam like silk.

  The individual fibres must surrender their individuality to become part of a greater purpose. They must turn over their existence into the weaver’s hand to become the tapestry of community.

  Ok, I am giving a plant human attributes. And with Jesus, none of this is a “must do”. He definitely doesn’t crush us into submission! But knowing grace, knowing the love of Jesus, I cannot help but surrender to the processes of transformation.

  I want to be able to offer the finest of clothing to anyone seeking the heart of God. Clothing that isn't made of worldly materials, but of the golden threads of forgiveness, grace, hope and love.

  PS. Today is a milestone day. Thank you, dear readers, for the 100,000 plus visits to my blog. It is a gift of encouragement more valuable to me than any fine garment.

Prov 31 Rolling Up my Sleeves

  “Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with other civic leaders.” Proverbs 31:23

  I guess this means she has chosen her spouse well or at least, her family has arranged a good man for her. As much as all the sayings in Proverbs 31 exemplify a woman of character, this speaks of a husband’s. I don’t quite understand the reference to city gates but it must be a site where the powerful and successful meet.

  Yet, there was this crippled beggar who met Jesus there. And a miracle happened.

  But is that all there is for men, that they be popular? Grrrr….

  Oh…right. Silly me! The entire book of Proverbs is a guide for living righteously, wisely, and generously. These sayings were chosen by a father for the guidance and instruction of his son. King Solomon didn’t write them all but drew from several sources including King Lemuel’s mother. She’s the one who inspired Proverbs 31. I only learned that yesterday. A woman authored the guide to ideal feminine attributes.

  Oh...right. We have Jesus.

  I think it’s high time I become more invested in the process of unlearning, of leaving behind all the corrupted “rules” regarding the treatment and status of men.  It might take a while. Many were reinforced time and again through various incidents, sources and even my own, twisted belief system. What once was “true” is so far removed from truth presented by Jesus. Although at the time, it was all I knew.

  But I know better now.

  Much better.

  Thanks to Jesus.

  It does take time to rewire the brain along these new pathways of understanding. Yes, there has been much headway in this regard. I am not starting at the beginning but rather sifting out the less obvious prejudices, judgments and ideas as they come to my attention. I will need help, Lord, to do this.

  Where shall I start?

  “Men are more valuable than women.”

  Do you know where the custom of a man opening a door for a woman came from? During the era of knights in shining armor, they would open the door and let the woman go first…here’s the clincher…in case someone was hiding behind the door waiting to murder them! Respect and courtesy had nothing to do with it!

  Smile. I can see this is going to take a while. The roots of my misunderstanding go long and deep.

  Lord, thank you for your unending grace and patience. Thank you I am willing to do this, not because You have condemned me, or because I am motivated by guilt. I want to venture into the swirling waters of these unGodly attitudes because You are my example of what loving others looks like.

  Let me forgive the women, the men, the society, the history, and the traditions that have shaped my broken belief system and have stirred the fires of distrust, prejudice and judgment. Let me be diligent and aware when un-truths that disguise themselves as truth worm their way into my speech, ideas and attitudes.  In Jesus’ most precious name, AMEN!

Prov 31 Swaddling Clothes

  “She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linens and purple gowns.” Proverbs 31:22

  At last! One facet of a Proverbs 31 woman I have achieved! Making bedspreads or can I qualify quilts as such? Do we even have bedspreads nowadays? (Smile.)

  I am rather puzzled. These two statements seem somewhat unrelated. Or is this about a woman having pride of home and pride of body? Maybe pride is too strong a word. Could it be more about gratitude and celebrating what she has, what she is capable of and what she is?

  There’s a story from India that goes something like this. There was a woman, mistreated by her village. She was unkempt, unloved and ignored. Believing herself ugly, she moved like a shadow to avoid being bullied and mocked. Until one day a prince came through the town and saw her. Beneath the neglect, the matted hair, the dirty face, the prince saw something special about her.

   Right away he found where she lived and offered her father the bride price of thirty cows, an amount never offered for any woman ever before. Her father was astounded! He would have been happy with being paid a couple of chickens for this ugly, unwanted daughter. She left that day with her prince.

  Months later, the prince and his wife were passing through the village. The people were in awe of her beauty, her grace, her loveliness. Why the difference? Someone had shown her she had value and worth. Her prince had clothed her in fine linens and silk and something that had no monetary value at all. In the prince’s eyes, she was beautiful.

 

  In our Prince’s eyes, all of us are beautiful.

  I have to admit, I wear glasses. They aren’t the kind for correcting vision. They are the kind of lenses that distort truth.

  There’s much to think about this morning, about what it means to dress in fine linens. Could it be the rags of yesterday are more comfortable? Is familiarity easier than adapting and embracing new ideas? Am I willing to go on allowing the devil to steal my joy, my future hopes? 

  Am I willing to believe that fine linens and purple gowns are meant for me, too?

  The winds of change are blowing something fierce!

Prov 31 To Serve

“She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes.” Proverbs 31:21

  I am going to add the New King James translation of this passage because it has some interesting differences.

   “She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet.” Proverbs 31:21

  What? Snow in the Mediterranean? Apparently it happens, although it’s a rare event of once every hundred years or so. (Thanks Google.)  But I have to admit winter cold is a matter of perspective. Winter in Jamaica is downright tropical for those of us visiting from up north. The locals are dressed in winter coats and hats while we parade around in bathing suits. Probably the summer heat would overwhelm us. Maybe it’s the same in the Mediterranean although I don’t think it gets as hot as Jamaica.

  Or maybe this isn’t about being literally prepared for the weather... Is it more along the lines of women being called to see a need and fill a need? Yesterday’s verse was a reflection of the same concept in helping the poor. Or is this a feminine attribute? One that God built into our DNA?

  To serve.

  Taken from Adam’s side, we were made to be a mate, a helper, for him. I am still going to check out the verses about how husbands and wives are called to treat each other once this study is done.

  Servitude is serving done out of fear.

  Service is done with a willing heart and an eagerness to bless those around us.

  So the Proverbs woman not only makes the thread, the yarn, and the woven cloth, she also makes scarlet, warm clothing; a colour that is second only to purple in terms of value.

  The Proverbs woman bestows the gift of worth on those in her household and to everyone she comes in contact with. Hmmm...I had never really thought about Eve's motivation in sharing the apple with Adam however misguided her actions were. 

  Winter doesn’t have to be a literal season either. It could be a spiritual one or related to age. It could be a season of sorrow or loss. Winter is also a time of rest, the season needed between planting times, growing times, and harvest times.

 

  Lord, Your service to humanity has clothed all of us in scarlet, the priceless covering of Your blood.

  I know there are times I am not a good servant because there’s resentment when a need arises outside my circle of comfort. I hesitate to serve because I am afraid I am taking on too much. I am deeply afraid of ending up in the Black River, the dire season of overwhelm, sickness and missing days. Teach me to let my “no” be no and my “yes” be yes. Set me free of the guilt that often accompanies a "no".

  I am also afraid of getting lost in the doing. I am afraid of being swallowed up and losing the very fragile sense of worth and identity that has slowly been infused through Your heart and Your Word. Show me how the delight in being is not separate from being a woman who serves. Teach me to embrace this part of my feminine nature. Teach me to be Your servant in all I do and say.

  Thank You, Lord, for wiring us women with such an incredibly tangible way of knowing You, the greatest Servant in the universe (even if our generosity is but a fraction of Yours). When we disobeyed Your commands and ate the apple from the Tree of Knowledge, You didn’t abandon us. You clothed us to cover our nakedness then served all of humanity by planning for the birth and sacrifice of Your Son. For that I am eternally grateful. AMEN!

 

Prov 31. On My Knees, I Pray

  “She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy.” Proverbs 31:20

  A cup of humility came my way this morning before I’d even poured a coffee. Here am I, sitting in my kitchen, looking at God’s Word with a critical eye, one that has been formed by trauma, abuse, neglect, and prejudice. Perhaps it would be best to regard this critical eye as having been formed by broken, imperfect, human attempts at being loved and being loving...

  I have been using these passages in Proverbs to affirm the validity of my own opinions. I have been using these passages to reinforce my prejudice towards men, seeing as they were written by a man; seeing as my history with men has not been good, to say the least.

  I have maligned the author and tried to discredit King Solomon, one of God’s chosen, simply on the basis of his maleness.

  I have been reading these verses with the deepest resentment imaginable and have ended up finding exactly what I was looking for: proof that I am right about men and their attitudes towards women. It’s right there in black and white. (Once again, a generalization slams shut the door to possibilities.)

  “It’s just not fair!” Bitterness has erupted, leaving an ugly taste of tinfoil in my mouth.

  Why the bitterness? Is it because I am using a personal history as tacit permission to keep on trucking down the familiar road of hate? Am I using trauma to excuse me from having to change? Or worse, to not have to forgive?

  It is so much easier to lay blame…but, oh Lord, the pride in me!

  (A long pause.)

  Lord, I am poor and needy this morning. Forgive me for doing what so many others have done: taken Your Word and twisted it to fulfill and validate a personal agenda. Thank You for the cup of humility. It’s a wonderful thing that my own subconscious, beneath the surface, agenda is no longer hidden.

  Being aware is the way to new life.

  And I know these judgments and prejudices have kept me apart from You and kept me apart from living in the richness and fullness of God. So, thank You, Lord, for this is a first step among many first steps.

  This wasn’t really an exploration of this passage…hmmm…or maybe it is. Maybe it’s a revelation about the mother heart of God.

  Thank You, Abba Father, that despite my sin, my weakness, my brokenness, Your forgiving arms are always open because right now, I could use a hug.

 

Prov 31, A Good Yarn

  “Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber.” Proverbs 31:19

  Lord, how do I view this passage as a compass pointing to Jesus? I find myself growing rather angry about King Solomon’s ideas that only busy women are valuable. (Is there some guilt there?) Yet, Lord, having the book of Proverbs in my Bible means You want these things to come down through the ages like they have.

  How do I reconcile these materialistic, seemingly earthly standards of worth to the teachings of Jesus and the New Testament?

  Is that why they are there? To show the impact the life and death of Jesus had for all humanity?

  Or maybe I need to rethink the standards that twist the idea of rest into being one of laziness. That's where the guilt seems to be coming from.

 

 Hmmm, I had a conversation last night with my Mom, who is a spinner, about using a drop spindle to make yarn; how she knew a couple of ladies in her Spinner and Weaver’s Guild who took their work bag with them wherever they went. The bag held carded fleece and a drop spindle whose design and purpose hasn’t changed in millennia. When the opportunity arose that granted them time to sit, they spun. A couple hours at this and they would have a small ball of yarn to show for their efforts. Is it safe to say that at rest, they still labour? What a Solomon woman!! (Smile.)

  I would love to ask them a bunch of questions about their motivation, their reasons for having a work bag. Is it merely passion for their craft?

  Yarn is made of two or three threads. Each thread is spun individually before being twisted together to create a strong, and useful product if you know how to weave, crochet or knit. If you don’t, yarn isn’t that useful!

  Another hmmmm…Is that a revelation of how grace works? Not all things are useful for all people even if their purpose has uses. Does that mean I dare to admit this verse in Proverbs doesn’t apply to my life since I don’t actually spin? Or maybe I can move this passage into a metaphor.

  In coming to know Jesus, a thread of an idea twists itself into my thoughts. One thread of an idea connects with other, different ideas. The combination of idea threads twist together into an understanding or revelation of truth.

  Newly formed yarn has to be washed for the fibers to set themselves into permanent alignment with each other.

  Isn’t that reassuring; to know that the threads of my ideas are being washed in the blood of the Lamb!

  Praise God, because I don’t always get it right.

  (Thank you, wikiHow, for the spindle image.)

Prov 31 The Business End of Things

  “She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night.” Proverbs 31:18

  This passage needs to be totally extricated from the idea of financial gain/success as being a measure of worth. Instead, I am going to apply this ideal to a journey with Jesus.

  Any dealings with Jesus are profitable: emotionally, spiritually, personally, socially. All the facets of relationship cannot help but bear fruit when Jesus resides at the centre of our dealings, our doings, our beings.

  I have to add that for dealings to be profitable, there is often a lot of hard work involved. Relationships take work. Growth takes work. Work takes work. Practice takes work. Love takes work even though the love of God is given freely. The work takes place at our end to understand what this precious gift really means.

  This applies to business as well. In a day and age when business can be ruthless, when TV shows focus on the contractor who takes the money and leaves a mess, a Christian business person who lives through the teachings of Jesus will be successful. Honesty, trustworthiness, professionalism, respect, stewardship, integrity, all the “old fashioned” ideals offer an opportunity for us to infuse the love of Jesus into business dealings. Making the choice to run a business with these ethics at their core pours out an inestimable amount of worth onto the people being served. This is especially important when we are being paid to do a job!

  And these things apply to us as customers as well. Manners, gratitude, patience, diligence, and many more of the “old fashioned” ideals should be part of our conduct and ethic as believers.

  Sometimes I do it right. Sometimes I don’t. Even when I try to do it right! 

  Perhaps I need to remember that everywhere I go, my lamp burns late into the night. Night not necessarily meaning the time of day after the sun goes down.

Prov 31, Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to work...

  “She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.” Proverbs 31:17

  Then I think of women who, for any number of reasons, aren’t physically able to do all they were once able to take on. I think of the struggles to find a sense of worth when an aging body no longer does all it is supposed to do. I think of women born with broken bodies who can’t live up to this ideal. They, too, struggle with finding worth and value. (I think these are issues men wrestle with, too.)

  It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact my anxiety disorder means I cannot do all I once did and that this, somehow, made me lazy and incompetent. I also wrestled with the idea that physical inability was somehow connected to mental inadequacy. Worst of all was the toxic idea that, by curtailing my activities out of necessity, I had failed to live according to my faith.

  If only I believed more! If only I trusted God more. If only…things would be as they once were.

  But then, that wasn’t really living. It was a life of existing from chore to chore absent from God, absent from emotions, absent from thought. The doing was the being.

  This old way of living was far removed from the heart of God who now provides me with energy when I find myself overextended. He gives me the strength to rest; to battle the foe that says resting is lazy.

  So where does this leave hard work? It is still very much part of my life as I enthusiastically pursue knowledge, wisdom and understanding through God’s Word. This is far more of a joy than laborious.

  While I no longer have to toss 80kg bags of feed around, I work hard to hone my craft as a writer, an artist, a musician. I work hard to better myself as a peer support worker. I work hard to learn about the dynamics of friendships, of relationships and emotions. I work hard to discover the subtle nuances of setting boundaries. I work hard at staying well.

  I work extra hard to make grace and forgiveness as much a part of my life as breathing. That takes practice, too.

  But none of this is actually hard work at all because God has filled my soul with a passion that flows out from the belief Jesus is Lord. So why is this passage being regarded as a description of a physical ideal? How come hard work is equated with sweat on the brow? Perhaps, as the perspiration drips off the end of the nose, it’s obvious that the work is hard.

  So, in all of this, I’ve uncovered something. Firstly, a fresh understanding of what hard work can look like. Also revealed is a skewed understanding that has me not only judging myself, but other women as well. Physical inability does not devalue anyone! God forgive me for thinking this way. God forgive those who taught me this was true. And I think I need to forgive them as well. AMEN!

Proverbs 31, In All Fairness

  “She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard.” Proverbs 31:16

  I find it rather interesting to realize women, in Christ’s day, had their own money and were able to make decisions about it, to own property. It came up in my writings about Lazarus as well. Martha and Mary were wealthy. They didn’t live off of Lazarus. Scriptures are clear, he lived with them.

  So where did the idea, the practice of removing all a woman’s income and autonomy in financial matters come from? When did the idea evolve that women were incapable of being trusted with such things as financial decisions? When did men begin to think that “the little woman” needed taking care of because she was incapable of doing for herself? How did a woman’s submission give tacit permission to be subjugated and oppressed?

  Year 1716. A wealthy woman’s education consisted of embroidery, some sort of musicianship, learning how to conduct herself, how to sit, how to eat, how to entertain. Perhaps there would have been basic math so she could tend to the financial end of keeping house having been given an allowance to do so. 

  Year 1916. The year women got the right to vote in Canada.

  Year 2016. Even though a husband and wife own property jointly, he can apply for a mortgage against it without the wife being notified by the bank. Her permission isn’t required.  Should a wife try to do the same, the husband always has to give his permission. Yet, the debt is equally shared by both and both are equally responsible to pay it back.

  Year 2019. We still have a long way to go.

 

  This part of the Bible, the oldest, demonstrates an equal status between the genders that was lost somewhere along the line. I hesitate to use the term equality because I firmly believe men and women will never be truly equal because each gender has unique talents and abilities that the other is lacking.  

  Can child bearing and lifting heavy objects ever be considered equal? Oh, dear men, if you only knew! I believe each gender should be celebrated with the deepest gratitude for how differently God created us to be.  But yes, yes, yes, women should have equal status and equal rights.

  Then there’s the passage in 1 Corinthians 14:34. “Women should remain silent in churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says.”

  So let’s back up a minute. If this is the New Testament, how come the law is being touted? How did this idea overflow into life in general with such an impact on the lives of women? Perhaps it has been reinforced by Christ’s command that wives submit to their husbands in the part about marriage. (Yes, definitely going to explore that section once this investigation of Proverbs 31 is over. Misunderstanding may be colouring my attitude.)

  Then there is Mary, whom Jesus praised for doing the right thing by sitting at His feet and learning right alongside the men. Jesus liberated women right there, right then. Boy, we’ve made a mess of things.

  May God have mercy on us all.

Proverbs 31: Master and Commander

  “She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.” Proverbs 31:15

  I’ve looked everywhere and can’t find a single servant! (Smile.) And I have to confess dawn was a few hours ago. It would seem I slept right through it…again. (Another smile.)

  Lord, the Old Testament contains the signposts that point to You. How is this passage a signpost? Or is this showing a Proverbs 31 woman to be both a servant and a commander?

  To serve is to live through humility and generosity as Jesus has shown us how to do.

  This Proverbs woman prepares breakfast for her household. Does that mean she makes food for her servants as well? She serves the servant.

  Commanding is more complicated. There’s the authority that comes with autonomy. We have the ability to set the course for our own lives; to make the choices that can take us to safe harbours or leave us becalmed, drifting helplessly with the tide. (I am still smiling about being described as a merchant ship so I couldn’t resist the nautical metaphor.)

  Yet, there are times when we can’t escape the currents, when life simply happens and we are forced to shape our lives in response. Hmmm, maybe those are seasons of service as opposed to command.

  You know? I never thought of it that way before. I always thought being trapped by circumstances was being helpless. Yet if I reflect on the wilderness years, I was serving my family as best I could without the heart of Jesus as my strength. This puts a whole new light on the entire situation! This is a good thing!

  I feel that being a servant is inherently part of a woman’s DNA. It’s only when sin entered the world that service became servitude. There is a big difference.

  Yet, taking command is also serving. I am led to reflect on a terrible accident that happened years ago. I have shared this before but these events have had a profound impact. I can close my eyes and I am right there, kneeling in the drizzly rain.

  The rain had made the ground slippery. While coming down a grassy hill, our neighbour’s tractor flipped and pinned him beneath. His daughter phoned us first because we were closer than the fire department. In a matter of minutes, we were there. My ex, using his heavy lifting knowledge, managed to raise the tractor just enough so I could gently pull our neighbour out from underneath the back wheel. I did my best to keep his body in the same position, not knowing what was broken. Here, the slippery grass proved to be a friend. He was a big man.

  The First Aid training I'd had as a child took over.

  I took command, asking for blankets, making sure someone had locked the dogs in the house, making sure someone was standing at the end of the driveway to direct EMS to the scene. I kept talking to my neighbour, who was conscious, assuring him help was on the way and insisting he didn’t try and move.

  My neighbour survived what usually kills. He had many broken bones and damaged inner organs but, praise God, his spine and neck weren't affected. I doubt I will ever forget that Mother’s Day. I will add that now I see the hand of God in everything that happened so long ago, how everything fell into place to save a life. Even my ex's understanding of leverage and lifting proved invaluable. Without those skills, we would have been unable to help.

  Revisiting this event has me re-thinking what being in command means. It doesn’t mean I have the right to only please myself although living alone makes that easy enough in some aspects. A true commander places the welfare of those he or she commands above their own. And that is Jesus living.

  To command is to live through humility and generosity as Jesus has shown us how to do.

  God Bless firefighters, paramedics, the police and hospital staff because what was a one time event for me is something they face every day.

  

More Proverbs 31

  “She is like a merchant ship, bringing her food from afar.” Proverbs 31:14

  The first image that popped into my head was that of a rather buxom woman, broad of keel, and determined to stay the course. (Smile.) Being compared to a merchant ship isn’t the most complimentary of metaphors particularly for a woman who tends to resemble one…a bit. (Now I am downright laughing!)

  Silliness aside, I have bananas ripening on my counter and fresh pineapple in the fridge. Foods from afar are easy to obtain in this day of massive container ships and airplanes. Spices come in bulk packages that can be liberally used because buying more is simply a matter of going to any number of grocery stores.

  There are a variety of restaurants in my small town: Tai, Japanese, Chinese, Indian, Mexican, Greek, Italian and British. Exotic has become normal and affordable. Now it’s simply a matter of choosing which one to dine at.

  In Jesus’ day, being able to lay a table where hints of cinnamon would transport guests to places they may never have heard of or seen would have been a mark of status and wealth. Now it's cheap enough I can throw it on a slice of toast without a second thought.

  I just realized something. This entire chapter defines a valuable woman by the things she does or has. Her behavior places a higher value upon her head. How she handles finances are a measure of her worth. Her ability to provide is also a measure of her worth. As long as she does, does, does and does some more, she is valuable. Oh, in the doing, it is implicit that the not doing or not having decreases her value.

  So how many modern women are still measured according to this part of the Old Testament? And it’s not just others measuring, we do it to ourselves!

  How many of us continue to define our worth by our achievements? What our homes look like? The job we have? How many of us feel less than worthy because we don’t have letters after our name? I am going to add being divorced to this list because it is something I am continually wrestling with.

  All of this has been written through the lens of a middle class woman. Can you tell? But all of Proverbs is also written from a perspective of wealth isn’t it?

  Jesus reminds me of my sisters trapped in the sex trade or caught up in addictions. Slavery is alive and well even in this “age of enlightenment”. I have sisters who may be trapped by the cycle of violence who have nowhere to run, who are afraid for their very lives. I think of my sisters who live in countries where women have no rights. And you know something? Wealth comes with its own set of chains specifically designed for women. 

  I am going to add that all of this can apply to men as well. Oppression isn't gender specific.

  Yet, in Mark 12:1-4, a widow gave two small coins as an offering. Jesus proclaimed to His disciples that her gift was far better than the offering of the wealthy. They had only given a portion of their excess wealth. She had given everything she had.

  So maybe that’s a better measure of our worth; where our sense of value comes from small things because, in the end, it’s the small things that matter. So perhaps being the type of person Jesus asks us to be is what it means to be priceless. It's even better knowing that even if we fall short, we are still priceless in God's eyes.

  I am going to see this exploration of Proverbs 31 through to the end in spite of today’s revelation. Lord, I trust there will be much more to learn. AMEN!

Proverbs 31 Continued

  “She finds wool and flax and busily spins it.” Proverbs 31:13

  In an era without Walmart this would be an important part of a woman’s role. I am guessing that there may have been cloth merchants where it would have been simpler for her to go and buy the cloth to make the clothes to cover her family. Were there clothiers as well? I don’t know. Perhaps part of being a Proverbs 31 woman is spending our money wisely.

  There may have been a place to purchase second hand clothes. Those who guarded Jesus on the cross cast lots to get His few pieces of clothing. Obviously they weren’t averse to wearing them or perhaps they were going to sell them to someone else to profit from Jesus’ death. If only they knew the other riches His death would bring!

  Or maybe this isn’t about clothing but is paying honour to a woman’s ability to take nothing and make it into something beautiful. With some resentment I’ve often been part of the conversation that goes like this, “Men’s hobbies are games, a woman’s hobby always has something tangible come of it.” The resentment comes from the idea that this isn’t fair, that men get to play all the time. It is a rather broad statement, a generalization, which in many cases simply isn’t true. Generalizations only serve to feed things like resentment and prejudice so I’ve stopped saying it.

  Or maybe this passage is in celebration of the creator heart that resides in all women. We were built to create life. Taking wool and ending up with a sweater elevates the raw material into something beautiful. It gives it life and purpose.

  I do have to wonder about the “find” part of this passage. Sheep used to shed their fleece in the spring before selective breeding made it necessary to shear them; a far better animal to provide wool in huge quantities at the same time. Did the Proverbs 31 woman have to go into the fields to find enough shed wool to make it worthwhile spinning? Did she glean a bit here and a bit there? I don’t know much about flax except that it is planted as a crop nowadays. Was it originally a wild plant that had to be searched for?

  Creating is one of the greatest gifts women have. To take nothing, a few scraps, a bit of this and a bit of that and make it into something. It might be a meal or a photograph artfully framed. It might be bare earth turned into an explosion of colour. It might be chaos tamed by organization. It might be a child, a family, a home.

  I feel this serves as a reminder to all of us women for those moments of self-doubt, of wondering if we make a difference. It’s what we do. Make things. That includes a difference.

Lots of Brackets

  “Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:11-12

  I’ve sat here frozen for a few minutes while reflecting on this passage. Firstly, I don’t have a husband anymore. Secondly…these words have teeth.

  It’s a pretty high standard to do no harm in light of the fact that all of us are broken. This is not an excuse nor does it grant us permission to intentionally hurt someone. Vengeance and revenge are a whole other ball game.

  I cannot help causing hurt because I have been hurt. That's a humbling thought. (And one day God will wipe away every tear.) 

  Currently, there’s plenty of baggage shaping my choices and behaviors. That consists of everything from carry on luggage to a travel trunk! Ergo, I will cause harm to others, not just a husband. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve had to apologize often for a misspoken word, a thoughtless action, a betrayal of trust. Even though, most of the time, my motivation has been honest, well meant, good intentions.

   Now, that bears thinking about. Good intentions that is. It’s not the first time I’ve written about them nor will it be the last. (Smile.)

  What are they?

  An assumption that I know what is best for someone else. Oh.

  Ouch. God, forgive me. Again.  (This pride based behavior is a slippery devil!)

  Because I don’t know; I don’t know the inner story that resides in someone else’s soul. The story that has shaped their own responses, actions, motivations…pain.

  I wasn’t completely honest at the beginning either. It’s another subject I’ve balked at thinking about. Jesus is my husband, my spouse, and the lover of my soul. By placing Him at the core of this passage, my shortcomings fall heavily on my shoulders. (That's the teeth that showed themselves earlier.) Bear with me while I think this through.

 Jesus will not punish me for these shortcomings. (And who is the judge and jury that defines them as such anyways?) Hmmm, He also won’t ask me to do the impossible. At least, not without His help. 

   Perhaps it’s been a fear of punishment that has hampered embracing Jesus as my spouse.(Yah, that's a part of it.)

  Nevertheless, no one knows my motivations better. Jesus knows why I behave the way I do. He knows the story that has shaped the way I think and act. More than anything, I want to do better, be better than I am.

  I want to earn the trust of Jesus. (Yet nothing I say or do will ever be needed to earn that which is freely given.) Perhaps it would better to think about living according to all He has entrusted me with. Part of that is forgiveness freely given. 

  Okay, I choose to forgive my mortal spouse for his broken understanding of how to treat a wife. I think, after this exploration of Proverbs 31, I need to look at the part about how husbands and wives are called to treat each other, painful as it may be. I wasn't perfect either but, at the time and lacking the heart of Jesus, the verse about wives was used as a weapon of oppression. I have a feeling I am not the only woman this has happened to. (Oh, Lord, it must grieve You so!)

  Until then...

  I want to enrich Jesus’ life just as much as He has enriched mine. Is that even possible? (Laugh!)

  I want to believe, that despite the brokenness, I am His delight, His treasure…

  The arms of Grace wrap themselves around my soul. (And, Lord? Let my good intentions become God intentions.) AMEN!

An Exploration Begins

    “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.” Proverbs 3:10

    A while back, I heard someone say in passing about having been blessed by a friend declaring she was a Proverbs 31 woman. I have a wooden plaque bearing a passage from Chapter 31 hanging on my bedroom wall so it struck me as a good idea to further investigate what it’s all about. I’ll be doing this over the next several posts.

  We don’t hear much about virtue anymore. Google defines it as behavior showing high moral standards. Google offers synonyms like goodness, righteousness, morality, integrity, dignity, honor, decency, respectability, nobility, worthiness and purity. Whew! That’s quite a list! I suppose it’s the feminine reflection of chivalry. That’s another concept that has sadly gone by the wayside.

  This is Old Testament teaching but that does not eradicate the value of the lesson….OH!!...is it possible this could be a goal to aim for?

  Yet, Jesus adds much to the idea of virtue because it is expanded to reach far beyond our inner selves. It’s asking us to live beyond what life and experience has taught us. We are called to live beyond mere morality. We are called to live through the heart of God.

  Let those of us without sin cast the first stone.

  There’s another aspect that the life of Jesus brought into being. A woman doesn’t have to be virtuous and capable to be more precious than rubies. Jesus showed our worth to be that of His life. Rubies are no more than cut glass in comparison.

  So even though I often fall short of virtue and the rest of the list or when I make mistakes, Jesus is alongside to encourage me to do better. Jesus makes me want to do better.

  AMEN!

A Muddle is a Mud Puddle

  “Then he (Jesus) said, ‘I tell you the truth, you will all see heaven open and the angels of God going up and down on the Son of Man, the one who is the stairway between heaven and earth.’” John 1:51

  I was a bit confused by this. Why would angels ride on Jesus? Aren’t they supposed to be able to move independently? So I checked out another Bible. The NKJV has Jesus saying, “…the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.”

  Which begs the question, if angels are from Heaven, how could they ascend, or rise up, to rest upon Jesus while He walked the earth? That would meant they were lower than Him. In Heaven’s hierarchy, they are but that doesn’t apply to actual physical space. Or is this passage a foreshadowing of what was to happen after Jesus’ death when He would ascend to sit at the right hand of God, the Father?

  The Jesus Centered Bible I quoted at the top does provide a clarification that Jesus is the stairway between heaven and earth…hmmm…neither life nor death can change the nature of God…He is as He has always been and always will be…

 

  Oh, dear, what a muddle! And I have no idea where this is all going.

  Perhaps it’s okay to admit I don’t understand this passage. It’s even better to hope that one day it will make sense to me. Perhaps all that matters is believing Jesus is the stairway between Heaven and earth and that one day, I will climb His steps to be with Him…

  Noooo…I don’t have to wait because He is with me now…

  Sigh. Now my head is going to explode because it would seem up, down, here or there are words of a mortal being; concepts created due to the physicality of a mortal body and being aware of its placement in regards to other objects. It is also limiting because our body can only be in one place at a time.

   It’s also our awareness of the passage of time that thwarts our ability to grasp the timelessness of God.

   It’s hard to try and understand what we cannot understand because it is beyond our knowledge and experiences.

  But, God gave us an imagination. With the Holy Spirit as a tour guide, where would you like to go?

  (Smile.) There is this flight of stairs that is worth exploring...