Homecoming

  “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15

  It’s been a while since my last post. It’s been a season of change, of renewal and of many blessings so today I am celebrating.

  The contractors finished their work a couple weeks ago except for a few things that have been delayed by the kitchen cabinet maker. I have been busy laying the new floor in the living room and my bedroom, putting the house in order, painting and doing the finishing touches. There’s still flooring to put down in the guest room but it’s full of stuff so it will have to wait until it’s cleared out.

  A big purge is part of the reorganization.

  Everything has turned out better than I could have imagined; the colour palette, the flooring and the new siding have completely transformed my home making it bright and inviting. The kitchen is a delight!

  I am back home now as of a couple of weeks ago. That’s been an adjustment, not having someone to chat with or say good morning to. I miss the company.

  It was good for me to be there on so many levels. It’s hard to explain but I am not the same person I was…I feel that I am finally living in the truth of who God made me to be.

  And this is the best thing of all.

 

  As for the blog, it’s important for me to get back into the habit of writing, of centering my day in the Lord. When I was living with my friend and we had each other to do this with, the need to write wasn’t as important.

  Lord, I give this day to You. Thank You for all the blessings that have come my way over the last little while. Thank You for my Uncle, who made the renovations possible. I wish he could have seen it. Thank You as well for the different people who have come alongside to help financially, in the decision making and with some of the physical stuff I couldn’t do on my own.  AMEN!

Changes in the wind

 “He gave their land as an inheritance, a special possession to his people Israel.” Psalm 135:12

  I am delighted to say the renovations are ninety-nine percent completed. There are a couple of things left to do in the kitchen that are held back because of the kitchen manufacturer. I am waiting on a cupboard that they built incorrectly to be re-made. Once that is done and installed, the crown molding around the top can be done. Then it will be truly finished. At least, the part the contractors are responsible for.

  Now my work begins. There’s the flooring to install in the rest of the house. All the stuff I moved out of the kitchen and laundry area has to be put back. There’s a fair bit of painting, too: the railings around the stairwell, the barn door and the new doors.

  Before the dishes can be put in the cupboards, I want to install shelf liners. That’s a bit of a time consuming, finicky job but worthwhile. It’s a way of protecting my investment. It’s today’s project after church.

  Everything has turned out far better than I imagined. The place is bright, open and seems a whole lot bigger even though the addition only added about thirty-two square feet to the house. It was worth it, though because now the kitchen is a decent size.

 

  I’ve a bit of good news, too. Someone nominated me to sit on our church’s board of directors. Accepting the nomination was both exciting and terrifying even though it is going to take an election to see if I end up on the board. That happens later today during our AGM. I give this to God because no matter what way the election goes, I will be content.

 

  Personally, there has been a lot of change during my hiatus from the blog. Seeing my vision for the house turn out so well has instilled a level of confidence I hadn’t realized was missing.

  The friend who has so generously put me up for the last couple of months has played a huge role in learning about the importance of having community and healthy relationships in my life. I have realized I can’t spend so much time alone. It’s not good. This is one of the reasons I accepted the nomination because I felt led to follow opportunities that will expand my human connections.

  It may be another long while before I write, just so you know. There is much on my plate. I will ask for prayer this morning because I get a strong sense that the renovation and the nomination are the first steps on a pathway of great and wonderful change. Please pray that I am sensitive to the Holy Spirit and God’s leading.

  Thanks so much!

In the Beginning

  “Then God looked over all he had made and he saw that it was very good!” Genesis 1:31

  It’s been a while! Life has been busy with the renovations. I've been doing my part in helping it get closer to completion. There is still much to do to finish it off in the way of details, but the heavy groundwork has been completed. I am so pleased with how everything looks.

  In the mean time, despite not blogging, I have been able to stay connected to God. During quiet evenings, I’ve spent time drawing, deep in the contemplative prayer that makes the art such a blessing in my life. He has already given me the next image to work on which ties into the series we are doing at church.

  That’s been amazing as well on so many levels. It’s called “Origins, the story of everything that matters.” (It can be found on the Meeting House website.) We are exploring the creation story.  I am astounded that much of what we learned over the last two weeks ties directly into the tapestry drawing I posted the other day. Affirmation is a wonderful gift.

 

  Despite not writing, I have felt close to God as I learn the incalculable value of human company. (Smile.) Last night at home church, I sat on the couch between two men—one well known and one a stranger. Not long ago, this is the last thing I would have done!

  I can only confess that this was a God moment because some time during the last couple of months, something has been released. Or perhaps something has shifted. Or maybe it doesn’t matter if I know the how or when because all I need to say is, “Thank You, Jesus.”

  Small beginnings can lead to great things.

  Thank You, Lord, for small beginnings.

  AMEN!

Being Grown Up

  “Then he (Jesus) said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me.” Luke 9:23

  A lot was accomplished over at the house. The drywall joints have been taped in the addition, the old walls got a skim coat of plaster to smooth out the orange peel texture that’s caused by multiple coats of paint. It’s easier than trying to sand them smooth. This needed to be done so they would match the new, smooth drywall. I started installing the supports for the shelves in the pantry and did a bit of sanding where needed.

  Much can be accomplished in eight hours.

  By the time supper rolled around, I was very hungry. My friend laid out a spread fit for a queen:  oven roasted peameal bacon glazed with maple syrup and mustard. It was served with fresh, garden tomatoes, roasted potatoes and carrots. The first mouthful of potato with a dollop of sour cream was heavenly! I closed my eyes for a moment to savour the earthiness of the potato, the herbs they had been dressed with and the tang of the sour cream.

  It was an “ah-ha!” moment.

  I looked at my friend and said, “When you eat to fill the soul, food has no flavour…” I paused to think about this for a moment then added, “When you are very hungry, boy, it sure is good!”

  Lord I confess that I have used food to fill a spiritual need. Thank You for giving me the power to overcome compulsive eating habits.

  The Lord is doing a work in my heart around those eating habits. It’s time to stop making excuses as to why they were so bad and be grown up about this. (Forgive me Lord for dodging responsibility.) The new kitchen will enable me to be successful in continuing to eat properly like I have been doing here. Eating properly balanced meals with protein has kicked the peanut butter cravings to the curb.

  Mostly, I have been processing the idea of poverty thinking and how it permeated my attitudes about food. Even to the point I was reluctant to use the stove during the prime time billing hours. (Hydro costs more from 9-7 daily except on weekends.)

  And this heart thing is a wakeup call. Things won’t change unless I change them.

  You know something? Being twenty-seven pounds lighter makes a huge difference in my energy level. Thank You, Lord, it really didn’t require any sort of sacrifice on my part, just eating better has made a difference. A big one I might add. Thank You that chocolate cake is still on the menu! AMEN!

Momentous Changes

  “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person onto the right path.” Galatians 6:1

  God is good. I needed to hear this message because of events of the past week.

  While I can’t go into details, suffice it to say that I was challenged to firstly, stand up for myself then secondly, call someone else out on their wrongdoing.

  This isn’t something I do easily and I am left wrestling with a bit of second guessing around my actions and words. As my friend reminded me, this isn’t of God because it is rooted in insecurity and a lack of trust in God that He would be with me through the entire process. He gave me the words to both challenge and encourage the person I had to call to task.

   Overall, it went well. I will continue to work with this person to help them overcome the behaviours and attitudes that makes them very difficult to love. I know God has them in my life for a reason and maybe this is it. I do know my heart is in the right place despite my initial anger about the situation that led to all this. God replaced this anger with hope.

  I guess, and this applies to all of us, even me, it’s often easier to lay blame on someone else for the way we are, for the things we do and say, rather than owning it. But here’s the thing, until we take responsibility for our actions and choices, nothing will change.

 

  Only then can the next step be taken: surrendering our mistakes, our sin, to God. He has a bottomless well of forgiveness. AMEN!

 

  PS: The house is coming along in leaps and bounds. I am heading over there today to do some mudding and taping of new drywall, hopefully to have it done by the weekend. Then I can paint. It looks better than I had imagined!

  There’s another side to all this. Finally seeing the finished product has infused a whack of confidence in my own ability to make the right choices. While it’s not paint colours, I have to give thanks to God because this confidence has helped me do what I needed to do regarding the person I just wrote about.

  It’s a tapestry moment. AMEN!

Tapestry of Life

  "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10

  Yesterday morning I was all set to do a post but Windows decided to do a major update that took up all the time I had. It was extremely frustrating but God knew I would need to do one this morning even more than yesterday. Today is the first part of the nuclear stress test so my morning coffee is taboo. By blogging I can hopefully ignore the caffeine cravings. (Smile.)

    It also ties in with this drawing.

  I tried to capture the idea of a tapestry of life. The hearts on the top represent the generations of people who have gone before us as well as our own lives. The books represent our stories. The clocks are the passage of time but also stand for divine appointments. The various drawing tools are God's. 

  The central image was my attempt to touch on everything in the universe from the wonders of the natural world to the evolution of human society. Science, medicine, art, music, invention and exploration are a small part of this world.

  The beauty of this idea has filled me with peace.

  What surprised me was after I drew the cross, I was inspired to set it on a pedestal representing the Jewish Law. It ties in with the entire idea of this tapestry, that all things converge so that we may live out God's plans for us.

  Aside from the drawing, I've been thinking about all that had to happen for me to be sitting here this morning, typing away. All the past choices, all the lives that have intersected my own have led me to be right here, right now. Even lives that have long since faded from memory are part of this moment! It's mind blowing, isn't it?

  But I also find it comforting to know that despite my choices, God has me covered. He's had me covered since before the dawn of time. It's why I didn't blog yesterday, right?

  So when a convergence of coincidences happen, when a storm of difficulty roars in, when sudden changes manifest themselves, when someone comes to mind, it's all God. He has a plan.

  (Smile.) Now if only I could learn to absolutely trust that plan!

How Great Thou Art

“O Lord, what great works you do!” Psalm 92:5

 My house is coming along nicely. I am able to start painting so last night after work I headed over to get started. The bathroom has been primed so has some of the kitchen. That means the paint can go on this weekend: the bathroom, the kitchen ceiling and the area where the cupboards are going to be installed.

  Everything looks better than anything I imagined even if it is still mostly in the unassembled stage. It’s much easier to visualize the space now walls are roughed in, the addition built, and the steps are turned. Oh, and the new floors have been laid except in the living room and bedrooms. That’s my job once the kitchen has been put back together and I can clear those spaces.

  There’s still much to be done in the way of installing drywall, getting it finished and putting back the railing around the stairwell. The tile still needs to be installed around the bathtub. The new door and windows in the addition, kitchen and bath have yet to arrive.

  I chose the new siding colour which has the exact same colours as the flooring. I guess when you like something, it’s something you like!

 

  I also saw the cardiologist yesterday. The stress test done a few weeks ago had mixed results. The good news is my heart showed no signs of arrhythmia when pushed. However, I had tightness in my chest and difficulty breathing towards the end of the test. This is symptomatic of a potential blockage in the heart. The cardiologist wants to check this out so he is having me do a nuclear stress test to measure the blood flow through the heart.

 

  Something else from the Disney movie, A Wrinkle in Time, touched my heart. It has me reflecting about all the things, all the generations past that have led to me being here, in this very moment in time. But it isn’t just my life that is connected to the threads of the past but the lives of those around me. Those threads created a cardiologist and the science he utilizes. Other threads created a master carpenter and his apprentice, a young woman who was influenced by other women in the trades.

  The threads of their lives are intersecting with mine and mine with theirs for a brief moment. They touch briefly before vanishing into the unknown future.

  What a beautiful image, a tapestry of intersecting threads that is made up of all the lives that have ever been and will be.

  Smile. I think I have my next drawing…

  O, Lord, what great works you do! AMEN!

The Light has Entered In

  “And Pilate posted a sign on the cross that read, ‘Jesus of Nazareth, the King of the Jews.’ The place where Jesus was crucified was near the city, and the sign was written in Hebrew, Latin, and Greek, so that many people could read it.” John 19:19-20

  I was watching a Disney movie, “A Wrinkle in Time.” As far as movies go, it was pretty lame. Definitely not the quality I expect from Disney. However, and I love this about God, there was a reason I wasted a couple of hours watching it.

  A main character was only able to speak in quotations. One of the things she said was this…”The wound is the place the Light enters you.” It was penned by the Persian poet, Rumi. I am not sure when.

 

  Immediately, a cascade of memories poured into my mind; the memories of events that have left me broken and scarred. I was surprised that many of these memories have lost their emotional charge. It was more like looking at photographs of someone else’s family. (Smile.) I don’t think there is any greater way to measure just how much the Lord has healed my soul because, not that long ago, a burst of memories like this would have sent me into a downward spiral.

  As I continued to ponder this incredibly profound word treasure, I remembered. There was One before me who had been wounded unto death so His Light could destroy the darkness in this broken world.

  Gratitude filled my soul. Had I not been broken, I would not know Jesus. Had I not known Jesus, the brokenness would have destroyed me. His Light has enabled me to rise above and beyond the hurts, the shame, the blame, the guilt, the rage. (Smile.) Most of the time anyways. There are still a few scars that have the ability to pull and tug and send lancing pain throughout this child of God.

  But that’s okay because I live under the promise that, one day, Jesus will wipe away every tear and the things of this earth will no longer matter.

  I think that says it all.

Busy Brain

  "Therefore, since we have been made right in God sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us." Romans 5:1

  Thank You, Lord, for leading me to this passage this morning because this isn't where I had been heading. (Smile.) How true is this of life in general! 

  The Meetinghouse encouraged us to take some time to fill out a Growth Gauge questionnaire. It's a self assessment tool used to reflect on where we are in our walk with Jesus. I did mine this morning and find myself wrestling with some of the results as well as the idea of using such a tool to monitor my growth as a believer.

  Smile. It seems to be the starting place for a whole whack of goal setting. 

  I am not sure how I feel about that. Perhaps it's because of the blog and the ability it gives me to look back on where I was and where I am now. It's a record of the times God has answered my heart's desire: to learn how love better. No goals required. Just trust. Praise God, that trust has proven fruitful because where I was is definitely not where I am.

  Not everyone has this kind of a written record that, in this case, has been kept since (wow!) 2012 so I can understand the value in filling the questionnaire out. 

  I am not sure if I will do the questionnaire again but, out of respect for the elders, I have obeyed.

  It has triggered a bunch of unpleasant emotions although I have no idea why. 

  So, Lord, I ask You to reveal why doing this sort of thing is so difficult for me. 

  I will leave off here, trusting God for the answer. AMEN!

  

On Sparrow's Wings

  “Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” Mathew 6:21

 

  In the midst of running around, there was ample time to get this finished yesterday. I suppose it might help to share what the worries in the background were all about. The first image I drew was all about money which is a key component of the poverty thinking I blogged about the other day. I’ve had time to do some personal reflection that has given me much clarity into why I think this way. The money worries are slowly being infused with trusting God in all things.

  There’s an image of the house, some paint chips, a decision meter that are all connected. I was…let’s be honest…I am still a trifle worried about what will be found under the siding when it is removed from the rest of the outside. But those worries are also connected to the financial end of things.

  My health is the next big issue. Obviously this heart thing is a biggie. It’s still doing the thumpity-thump which is extremely disconcerting when it happens. But, the cardiologist has sent me for the necessary tests to get a clear picture of what is happening. I’ll know more after our appointment in October. In the mean time…

  It’s important for me to lose some weight. And I am! Eating better with regular protein and plenty of veggies has the weight coming off with no real sacrifice. It just goes to show how crappy my eating habits had become. That’s what the image of the bathroom scales are all about.

  I do want to continue reducing one of my meds. I worry about this because it’s one I take to help with anxiety. It’s not much fun cutting it back even a bit because, well, the anxiety goes through the roof for a few weeks. This is going to have to wait until I know more about the heart to make sure it can handle the strain.

  The clock represents the pressure of time. There is much waiting to be done at the house although I can’t start the projects I am responsible for until the contractor finishes their part. Hmmm…excitement feels a lot like worry. I hadn’t realized that before.

  The Bible carrying figures are included because there have been some changes to my home church. We are moving locations and joining up with another group. While any sort of change is stressful, I have to remind myself that being stretched and learning to trust more people is a wonderful thing! So there’s some excitement there, too!

 

  In looking at the picture this morning, I give thanks that by putting down these worries in black and white, I have gained a fresh perspective.

  Thank You, Lord, for helping me identify that many of these worries aren’t exactly worries but are filled to the brim with excitement and anticipation! AMEN!

 

The Joy of Letting Go

  “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear.” Mathew 6:25

  There have been a couple of amazing things happen. Earlier this week, I started a drawing. I was really stressing about everything that was going on with the house, money, making decisions, and my health/weight.

  The old hymn, “His Eye is on the Sparrow” as well as the passage in Mathew mentioned in my last post inspired me. Or maybe the drawing had already been started and it inspired the post. Either way it doesn't matter.

  Front and centre an image of a sparrow with a cross behind it dominates the page. Around these, I started placing images representative of my worries. Only three quarters of the background got finished because by the time I’d drawn every worry that came to mind, visually placing them in God’s hands, the worry had vanished.

  Here’s the amazing part. Yesterday’s sermon was on this section of Mathew.  It was a wonderful addition to what had happened during the creative process. I will share the image once it’s completed. There is still some pen work to do on it.

  It is also deeply humbling and reassuring when God affirms the direction I have gone or am going in. (Smile.) Every time it solidifies a trust in the ability to discern and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. And that alone is the greatest worry eraser.

  The other thing that has come out of my time here at my friend’s is my inclination towards poverty thinking. Many times I have held up a lack of finances as an objection to doing what I need to do. This type of thinking has prevented me from eating better by denying the ability to purchase meat and fresh vegetables.

  Yesterday we went grocery shopping. It has made me realize I don’t need to be concerned about money. I need to learn how to shop better, wiser, so those dollars go further. As an added bonus and something to keep in mind, going to the bargain grocery store later in the day is a smart move. There were many packages of meat and fresh vegetables whose price had been reduced because it had to be sold by day’s end or it would be thrown out. We came out of there with more than enough to feed the both of us for the next couple of weeks for an amazingly little amount of money.

  Yup, God and sparrows. (Smile.) If I can trust the leading of the Lord when it comes to art, maybe it’s time I allowed that trust to flood every aspect of my life. 

  At least, I will try. AMEN!

A Lot of Worry

  “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Mathew 6:34

  While typing this out I ended up having a bit of a chuckle. Following thirty-three verses about not worrying at all, about trusting God to take care of us and all our needs, Mathew closes with this acknowledgement that there will be worries after all.

  Or maybe I am misinterpreting this passage. Is Mathew actually telling us that because we worry, it is necessary for us to do a day to day, moment to moment surrendering of our worries to God?

  Hmmm…That actually makes sense. If we give over our concerns today, they won’t be there tomorrow.

  So maybe that’s the most important lesson to take from this. Mathew is clearly telling us that we will worry. It is part of our broken nature. I feel it is what we do with this worry that is the lesson here.

  What’s the line? There I go but for the grace of God. (I didn’t know where this line came from so a quick Google search has it originating in a quote by 16^th Century reformer John Bradford. It’s not verbatim but still captures the idea.)

  It’s so easy to get all twisted around, worrying then worrying about worrying…(smile) worrying about a seeming inability to trust God.  

  So here’s the thing, trust takes practice. Vanquishing worry takes a determined effort to identify the issue, assess whether or not it is something to be concerned about, then, be it a big or a small worry, give it over the Lord who is more than willing to shoulder our burdens.

  You know something? He can also show us how to handle whatever needs handling that caused the worry in the first place. That’s an extra special gift.

 

  (Smile.)

  Lord, forgive me for being a woman who worries about everything, even stuff that isn’t on Mathew’s list.

  (Another smile at my own foolishness.)

 

  May the peace that surpasses all understanding be with you today.  AMEN!

It's Time

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.” Hebrews 10:24

  Once again the seeds of an idea are at the forefront of my thoughts. It’s not a new idea but one that has been present before. In fact, almost every time I sit and create a visual prayer, I feel led to teach others how to do this, “The Art of Prayer.” I have yet to obey but been very adept at finding reasons for it not to happen.

  Every one of them is fear based. So let’s break these fears down.

  I feel woefully inadequate to do this ministry. It’s not the same as teaching someone to draw or paint. There’s a whole other level involved which causes me to be extremely cautious. (Ha! Terrified is more like it. The “what if’s” are having a grand ole time stomping confidence into the ground.)

1.       The biggest stumbling block is the lack of training to be a therapist, a counselor or a minister. I have had training to be a peer support worker… now where did I get the idea I would be responsible to fix everything? This would be a peer group with God and faith in Jesus Christ as our common foundation. We would be a small community who could be there for each other as the art, as God, speaks into our lives.

  The answer: Many of the skills I have learned about group facilitation can be utilized like creating a comfort agreement, doing check ins at the start and end of each session. Oh, right, this isn’t a secular group so oral prayer can be a key component of the whole process.

2.        I would have to allow people into my home; a home I have kept as my personal sanctuary when it is mine only by the grace of God. (Forgive me, Lord.) 

        The answer:  It’s time to lose the isolation habit, something else whose season is finished…at least once the renos are complete. (Smile. Is that another excuse?) I will have adequate space to host a small group. If it’s bigger? I can get one of those small folding tables. If it gets too big? I can always ask to use someone else’s home. Space is not an issue. Not one bit. I could even start the ball rolling now. All I need to do is find someone who would be willing to host the group. Or maybe that’s putting the cart before the horse…it would be wise to run this idea past the church leaders then see if anyone is interested.

3.       It’s expensive. (Snort.) That nasty tosses God’s ability to provide for all my needs right out the window. The answer: I could draw up a list of basic supplies and everyone could get their own. One of those art kits with a variety of tools, a decent quality sketch book, some glue sticks and scissors would pretty much cover everything. And if it doesn’t, God will provide. I can always ask around for things like old magazines and so forth.

 

  Let's end this with a statement of bold confidence...I have served my apprenticeship under God for this ministry since the first moment I became a believer. The life experiences, even before I knew Him as Lord, has fully equipped me with the necessary skills. That’s good enough for me. It’s time to put into action where the heart is leading. AMEN!

  PS. Thank You, Lord, for first and second and third and a million chances to get it right.

Something Different

    “Those who dwell in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.” Psalm 91:1-2

  The seeds of an idea to create a visual representation of Psalm 91 ended up being an image with words drawn from almost every Psalm. I skipped over the ones calling the fury of God onto the Psalmist's enemies. Occasionally, two Psalms are represented by one line that has been repeated. Space was at a premium in the 8 1/2 x 11 page.
  The fields in the valley have been planted with God's promises.
  The sky words are those that glorify and describe Him.
   I think that's all I am going to say this morning. Smile. When a picture paints a thousand words and a picture contains a "thousand" words there's nothing more for me to add.
  I pray this image blesses you, dear readers, a thousand fold as much as it has blessed me in creating it.
 

Another Degree of Freedom

  “But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone; that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things. I, the Lord, have spoken!” Jeremiah 9:24

  Oh.

  So I don’t have to understand everything after all. I don’t have to understand love to know it is. I don’t have to understand in order to know God. As the Psalmist says, “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!”  I only need know He is the Lord of perfect love, unchanging and eternal.

  I have to give thanks because I now know gratitude is an expression of love.

  With every fibre of my being I want to delight my Lord. That is also love, this desire to please, to serve, to be a delight. It grieves me when I fall short, when bitterness ensnares my thoughts and conversations. I ask again, Lord, don’t let me be bitter.

  Love is being mindful of what I say and think. Do no harm. Those are good words even though I know my woefully inadequate human ability to love will inevitably mean I will do harm.

  Doing the best I can is love being manifested. Yes, I mess it up. Yes, I don’t always make the right choices…

  Learning the better way, hungering to live the Jesus way, is also love.

 

  Sitting down with a piece of paper, praying in the way I love to pray in visual form, means I love the Lord enough to hear what He has to say. I give thanks for this gift because I am not so good at vocalizing my thoughts. God knows the silent years make this hard for me to do but we, He, found a way to break through. Love listens. I wouldn’t talk with Him, wouldn’t vocally pray, for a fraction of the time it takes me to wait upon the Lord, pencil poised, excited to begin, to see what He would show me.

  And in the hours I spend drawing, re-drawing, erasing, researching, and immersed in God’s Spirit there is a joy found that doesn’t exist anywhere else.

  I had forgotten. I had forgotten how working on a drawing spills over into my day even when I don't have my sketchbook in front of me. I find myself contemplating on the prayer, on what God is trying to tell me in those precious moments of stillness found in an otherwise busy day.

  You know what’s different? Where I am staying doesn’t have standard television. Instead, unlimited data and WiFi has opened the door to evenings full of worship music. Songs I have never heard before, the old hymns, instrumentals, all of it fills the house. I need to get WiFi with unlimited data at home and scrap the satellite because I have fallen into the mind numbing trap of TV shows turned on to fill the silence and the loneliness. It has become my idol. God forgive me.

  Praises to God need to fill my house and honestly, I am very tired of the few worship CDs in my possession. There are so many more wonderful, beautiful songs out there that I know nothing about! It took being here to realize this. I am thankful my friend and I have very similar tastes in music, too.

  I have lost five pounds since I got here two weeks ago. Food, too, is used to fill the loneliness. God forgive me for that as well.

  Having company has me realizing just how lonely I have been. I have a strong sense it’s time for me to break free of the “safety” of isolating myself, of remaining disconnected from others. It’s not safe at all because I end up wandering away from God.

  My home is being renewed. My time at my friend’s is pouring into my soul a renewed purpose and a new direction. I pray it will continue. In Jesus’ name, AMEN!

180 Degrees

 “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ.” Ephesians 5:1

  Immediately after finishing yesterday’s post, an incredible, thought provoking, grace filled and life changing thought exploded into my head.

  “Love is not an intellectual exercise—God gave us His Holy Spirit, not holy reason.”

  It has brought a release of all the angst and confusion that surrounded the greatest challenge I have faced: understanding love. I have forgiven the well meaning person who had assigned me the task of reading all the passages about love until I “got it.” This was the root of intellectualizing the fourth most precious thing we have in our lives. (God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit come first.)

  Love isn’t logical. The love of Jesus even less so!

  On the heels of this breakthrough came the realization I have a hard time being able to love. It’s understandable really but it is still a sin, this withholding of love because I am afraid to go there.

  But as my friend pointed out to me last night I go there anyways. I’d never thought about how much love is involved in being a servant, in doing for others. I just thought it was the nice thing to do when in reality serving others is pouring love over them. No thinking required. (Smile.)

  You see, love doesn’t belong to me. It isn’t my love that is being invested in someone else because on my own, I admit I don’t love very well.

  This is my response to 1 Corinthians 13:5…

  Sometimes patience is usurped by temper and frustration. Sometimes I find myself resenting the wealth and relationships others have. I freely admit to bragging. Ah, yes, pride is the author of all my fears about love. I can’t write down some of the comments I’ve said to a driver who doesn’t obey the yield sign…rude to the nth degree. At the same time, I am not so good at obeying the rules of the road either. Yes, I get cranky and impatient and all in a huff if someone does any of these things to me. I can carry a grudge. Sometimes I rejoice when another person pays the consequences for their actions.

  And yes, I give up when it comes to loving others who, for whatever reason, make this hard to do. I lose faith in their ability to change although hope is often in the background because grace is a manifestation of love. (But who am I to decide what needs changing in the first place?) Even so, I have known the grace God has poured over me in spite of everything I feel and do. I have no right to deny anyone such a gift.

  In spite of such a poor record, the love of God endures through every circumstance because I am not the author of such love, I am the bearer. So I have decided to make a fresh start in my interactions with others by asking a simple question, “God, how would You love them?”

  On a personal note, I had a meeting with the cardiologist to get the results of last week’s tests. He told me I have PVC, Premature Ventricular Contractions. It’s an extra beat in the lower part of my heart that causes the upper part to thump afterwards. It can be caused by stress, thyroid issues or hormones. Even though this is considered a normal behaviour for the heart, he has me doing a bunch of other tests to try and figure out the root cause or if there are any underlying issues to be concerned about.

  I am thankful he is being so thorough because if this ole heart of mine is what keeps me able to share God’s love, it needs to keep working for a long, long time. AMEN!

Love Thoughts (Once again)

  “Then the Lord said…”Shouldn’t I feel sorry for such a great city?” Jonah 4:11

  It’s the kind of morning I feel like I have a long way to go.

  Sunday’s sermon contained an encouragement to love our enemies just as God loves us. It’s what the the story of Jonah is all about. Yet in Jonah, we don’t know the end of the story. Did he relent of his attitude towards the Ninevites? Did God’s words encourage him to let go of his hatred towards them?

  Hmmm…that’ a grace filled word…encourage. God knows I don’t always get this loving my enemies right. But He also knows when I do. He also guides the journey to get me to the point I can let go of the hurt and hate towards those who have done me harm.

  It’s a process isn’t it? Some days I can love better than others.

  That’s encouraging. (Smile.)

  How do you love someone you can’t stand to be around for whatever reason be it personality or because of past history. What if it’s an unidentified aversion, an intuition kind of thing? Or am I getting love and trust mixed up.

  Is it possible to love someone without trusting them?

  What would that look like?

  What about the teaching…not sure of the reference…when a believer sins, we are to go to them. If they don’t take correction, we take it to the elders. If that person still fails to mend their ways, they are to be sent away.

  What is the connection to Jesus sitting with tax collectors?

Jesus poured out His love on the most hated group of people in the day. Some of the tax collectors repented and turned to Jesus (Mathew being the most notable.)

  Love sometimes means walking away. When do we walk away from non-believers? Or do we?

  I say yes. Sometimes it's necessary. God Himself has turned away and left people to continue on in their merry ole way.

  How it must grieve Him! Hmm…there’s another form of love.

    

  When I first became a Christian, God didn’t pour out His full on agape love. I would have run screaming for the hills, utterly terrified because of my broken understanding of what love is. (Smile. It’s still broken but piece by piece it’s improving.)

  So maybe all the love I can muster is not wishing harm on my enemies. That’s an encouraging sign because there was a time…yah…I surprised myself about just how nasty I could be. It almost made me sick. But the good thing about having shared this nastiness with God is I came to realize holding on to such feelings had the same effect as if I had drunk arsenic. It poisoned my soul.

  Maybe that’s the first step towards loving our enemies: stop hating them.

  Because I bet there are people out there who hate me as an enemy, too.

  Maybe I need to stop being so intellectual about love and simply let God unfold it in my heart. AMEN!

Big Bang

  “The Lord passed in front of Moses, calling out, ‘Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness. I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations. I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin.’” Exodus 34:6-7

  God has defined Himself.

  It is who He is…always…since before the dawn of time and who He will continue to be far beyond the end of it.

  There has been a scientific BBC Earth series entitled, “The Planets” on TV this past while that has fascinated me. It talks about the formation of our solar system and each of the planets. It explains how dust and gases came together over the millennia to form the sun and the planets. The dust made rocks. Rocks made bigger rocks. The bigger the rock, the stronger the gravitational pull. Those collected with even bigger ones until there was no more in the area where a new planet had evolved.

  I get it. It makes perfect sense to a person all too familiar with the effects of gravity. It left me with a big question I would love to pose to the scientist narrating the series; a question that never came up. “Where did the dust and gases come from in the first place?”

  Now, here’s another question…How does this tie into attempting to understand the nature of God with my frail, limited abilities?

  God is a God of pattern. A leaf, the great waterways and even our own bodies contain a network of veins to carry life to all reaches of the tree, the earth and our own toes and fingertips. The mountains, the forests, the depths of the oceans can be delineated by fractal mathematics. Pattern after pattern is around us everywhere.

  I digress…

  Is the gravitational pull of God the great unseen force we define as love? Is physical gravity a tangible way of experiencing the effects of such wondrous, unquenchable love as God has for us?

  That’s kind of cool…if I think about gravity and the weight of my body on this earth I can feel the gravitational pull of God’s presence on my heart.

  I think of how God formed His church. It’s exactly the same way as the universe was formed. Jesus, the Son, gathered first one than two than all of His disciples. Those disciples gathered more believers. I believe the idea of a thousand generations mentioned in today’s verse is really a metaphor for eternity.

  So here it is…all things physical are the offspring of the metaphysical, the greatness of God the Creator. I am left speechless and filled with awe and wonder that a God so great is with me right now as the keyboard keys click with each strike.

  It now makes perfect sense that Peter was a rock on which the church has been built. I now understand, too, how Christ is the cornerstone. See? Patterns of gravity.

  Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning is now, and ever shall be, world without end. AMEN!

The Expected Unexpected

  “We thank you, O God! We give thanks because you are near.” Psalm 75:1

  I said something about not being a damsel in distress kind of gal the other day. But that’s not a hundred percent true. I find it interesting that there is this part of me that is (mentally) wringing my hands and crying out, “Oh dearie me! What to do? What to do? What to do!”

  Yet at the same time as these frantic whispers waft around my consciousness, I am at peace.

  After work yesterday I went home to check on the progress and to see if my bathtub had been delivered. The tub wasn’t there but the contractor had...duh, duh, duh…SOMETHING to show me.

  “Okay,” I thought, then the damsel had her say, “Oh no! Oh, No! WHAT can it be?”

  They had removed the insulation from the bathroom exterior wall. Behind it was a major case of dry rot. To explain better, an outside wall is load bearing. It holds up the roof and consists of two by four framing. Wood cladding or sheathing is attached to the frame on the outside. After that comes some sort of weatherproof siding. In my case it’s aluminum.

  Well, my friends, this had been like this for a long time because the two by fours had been improperly patched during a previous reno and even though it is probably much worse now than when that was done, the dry rot should have been taken care of at that point. I believe it spreads over time. 

  The cladding crumbled into dust at a light touch. The dry rot continued into the kitchen so it affects a large area. The only way to fix it properly is from the outside. This means tearing off the aluminum siding to get to it. 

  It would be impossible to match the existing 1970’s Harvest Gold siding and it would be difficult to remove it without it getting damaged. Soooo, new siding has been added to the roster.

  We talked briefly about only doing half of the house, the front and the side where the addition is going, but it would probably cost more in the long run to get someone back to finish the job.

  I did laugh and ask them why they had to remove the insulation in the first place! But, and this is a good thing I have hired this company because there are contractors out there who would have simply ignored the problem, covered it up and not said a word. (Like the previous person had.) 

  Praise God I have an honest contractor! Down the road, the existing damage to the wall would have spread even further and created a far worse problem like the roof collapsing!

  What’s interesting about all this is God planted the idea about getting new siding into my thoughts a while back. I had daydreamed about what colour I would choose, what style.  It kept coming up whenever I thought about the reno. He must have known there was an issue and was preparing me for this major, “unexpected” addition to the plans.

  So, like I said, the inner damsel had a bit of a fit yet the Holy Spirit peace of God has soothed her…me. And that’s the best part of all. AMEN!

Rethink, Reset

“If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will support me.” Psalm 139:9-10

  What beautiful imagery: to ride the wings of the morning!

  I imagine soaring through a sky laden with pinks and soft golds. Lavender clouds scrub the night from the horizon. The last of the stars give a wink and a nod then vanish. The ground below wears a shimmering veil of silver dew that grows more and more brilliant as the cold, dark grasp of shadow slips away.

  Smile.

  Fanciful stuff but I don’t think those are the type of wings the Psalmist is talking about.

  I think the wings just might be in the shape of a to-do list, lunch making, heading off to work or school; all the things that fill the day ahead greet us the moment we open our eyes.

  My phone just informed me the new bathtub is on its way. (The wings are flapping, gaining altitude.)The email said it was curbside delivery only. When I ordered it, I thought it was going to be taken into the house…I shared this frustrating news with my friend as well as sharing what today’s post was about.

  Her son has a saying, “Beware the tyranny of the urgent.”

  The wings have been flapping a lot lately.

  Lord I trust that this very tiny problem will be resolved.

  I also have another friend whose love of the Lord is wrapped around everything in her life. She once shared that every morning, as soon as her eyes are opened, she greets the Lord with, “Good Morning, Abba!” I doubt there is a better way to clip “tyranny’s” wings.

  So, Abba Father, I have been up for just one hour yet that hour is long enough to get a second cup of coffee. Long enough to start writing. Long enough to make my bed. Long enough to get angry, frustrated, and a bit panicky.

  Long enough to realize I have it all backwards. My day belongs to God, not the wings of the morning. 

  AMEN!

Lifted Up

  “Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.” Psalm 37:5

  It’s good to be back. The hiatus from blogging only drove home how crucial it is to my own state of mind. It guides my attitude into gratitude.

  I have moved to a neighbour’s for the duration of the reno a little earlier than I had planned even though there was still running water at home. The stove, fridge, food, dishes, etc. were in the living room. The kitchen table where I normally write is in the basement, dismantled and being rebuilt and painted.

  The chaos and disorganization, with everything crammed into my guest room, living room and bedroom was having a detrimental effect. Talk about anxiety! It was hard to focus. Runaway thoughts plagued my mind making it difficult to even consider sitting on the couch and writing.

  Despite all this, things are going well. The contractor got the chimney down, the roof patched, the laminate floors torn up, and the addition meticulously marked out for excavation. It was a successful first week. The only surprise (which wasn’t a surprise to me) was the floor under the bathroom needs some major shoring up. The floor joists had been cut and left unsupported where the chimney ran through the floor. Since I am putting a deeper bathtub in the space, it needs to be able to support the weight of the water.

  I am heading over there later to add some screws to the subfloor in the kitchen. There are a couple of squeaks that can be addressed before the new flooring goes in. May as well fix it now.

 

  Sunday saw me back at the emergency department after church because I was experiencing a great deal of discomfort…pain…on my left side, arm and neck. It was different enough from what it had been like a week and a half ago to make me deeply concerned. Again the heart checked out. The blood work was good.

  So here’s the interesting part in this…a couple of Advil takes care of the pain. I am hoping and praying that all this might have something to do with the muscles around my rib cage and not my heart. I will know for sure once I see the cardiologist on the tenth. He will be able to let me know for sure because I had an ultrasound done and wore the Holter monitor for a couple days last week. If there is a heart problem, that should show up.

  The high blood pressure is something else all together.

  Praise God, I also have a family doctor now. All this heart stuff bumped me to the top of the list. Within a day of calling to register for a new doctor, I got a call and was assigned to one right in town. (There is a severe shortage of doctors everywhere. I know some people have been waiting months.)

 

  I have to be thankful because not knowing what’s going on with the ole ticker and being smart about what I do means I’ve had to both ask for and allow others to help. I even asked a friend to go with me to the hospital on Sunday. It is getting easier each time.

  Smile. I have never been a “damsel in distress” kind of gal. It’s very difficult for me to sit back and let others do for me but to be honest? It’s been kind of nice! Ha, who am I kidding? It’s been wonderful to know my church community has my back and my heart.

 

  I have to say it again, it’s good to be back writing. Lord, I lift everything, all these concerns, all these worries, and all my doubts and fears to You. Thank You for this sanctuary and the little desk in the bedroom where I can type away. AMEN!

 

Season of Salt

  “Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? Flavorless salt is good neither for the soil nor for the manure pile. It is thrown away.” Luke 14:34-35

  I had an epiphany this morning, finally understanding the significance of this parable.

  Salt is very good at killing green things. Ask anyone from Ontario who, come spring, has strips of brown, shriveled grass beside the path to the house. All because salt is often used to get rid of icy, treacherous footing.

  The only thing that seems to survive this annual abuse is dandelions. Maybe that’s because their roots run deep, well below the contaminated soil. New soil needs to be put down and new grass seeded in order to renew the lawn unless you like dandelions. (I know the local bunny does.)

  In this day and age of chemical fertilizers and intensive agriculture, the manure pile has been mostly delegated to myth. Yet, it was at one time crucial to successful farming. Crops thrived on ground spread with composted manure. In fields planted season after season, it was vital to add this natural fertilizer.

  Smile. I guess it’s still around because we urbanites can buy it by the bag at the local plant nursery.

  Salt, tasteless or not, is not a good addition to the manure pile. It would cancel out the benefits of adding natural nutrients to the garden.

 

  What an odd topic to be writing about…but I think I understand what Jesus is alluding to: flavorless faith. Nothing will grow in it. Nothing will grow from it. Nothing will grow around it.

  But, even though Jesus asks the question, “How do you make it salty again?” In Christ, this is possible.

  It’s called repentance.

  I used to squirm with discomfort every time I heard the word, repentance. That was before I fully understood what it meant. For Christians, it means to turn away from anything that keeps us apart from God. No guilt. No shame. Just a fresh start.

  “There is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away!” Luke 15:7

  And I think that says it all. AMEN!

  PS: On a personal note, the contractor arrived this morning to begin setting things up. Yay!

  I had my echo cardiogram yesterday and am adorned with a Holter (not Holtz) monitor to keep an eye on my heart over the next couple of days. I have a conference with a cardiologist in a couple of weeks. So pleased everything happened so quickly. Thank you for your prayers!

  

  

Looking the Wrong Way

  “So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children.” Romans 8:15

  This is a message I needed to hear this morning.

  Is a fearful slave the same as being a slave to fear?

 

  (A long pause.)

  Is that what I am?

 

  I ended up at the hospital last Wednesday. My heart has been doing a rather disconcerting, chest hammering, thumpity-thump-thump and my left arm was sore. It was unusual enough and persistent enough that it seemed wise to get it checked out. There were no signs of a heart attack and my blood work came back “pristine” to use the doctor’s words. But, my blood pressure is very high. I am waiting to hear from a local diagnostic centre to have an ultrasound done to my heart as well as getting hooked up to a Holtz monitor for a couple of days. It will keep track of my heartbeats to see if there is any irregularity.

  While waiting to be seen, I did some research into chronic anxiety relating to high blood pressure and heart disease. Not surprising but there is a connection.

 

  Today’s words that have come through loud and clear are “self doubt.”

  So let’s combat that nasty with a declaration.

  I can trust in the abilities God has blessed me with regarding all the renovation decisions, colour choices and design.

  I can trust the abilities of the contractor God led me to. I can trust the person who referred her to me.

  I can trust in the skills I have learned to do what I need to do. I can release the idea they all need to be accomplished NOW. I am not a professional. The tasks can take as much time as needed. In light of the blood pressure thing, slow and steady is the best way to go.

   I can take a break and rest as needed. (I’ve been struggling with fatigue, another symptom of high blood pressure. It’s also a sign of feeling overwhelmed by the chaos in the house.)

  The chaos is temporary.

  I can ask for help. And after I finish today’s post, I will do just that. I need to get some help moving the washer and dryer. I had thought to simply pull them out of the way so the new floors could be installed but they would still be in the way of painting unless they are taken out of the renovation zone entirely.

 

  All these recent events have made me feel distant from God. Worldly thoughts, decisions and self doubt have overpowered my faith. Fear has had my ear instead of the Holy Spirit. Thank You Lord, for providing the awareness that this is what is happening. When my eyes and heart are on You, there is no room for fear. Forgive me, Lord, for not reaching out to You yet again. Thank You for patiently pointing this out to me every time old, fear filled habits take over.

  And that’s the best declaration of all: I am not alone.

 

A New Perspective

    “So he (Jesus) got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, and poured water into a basin. Then he began to wash the disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel he had around him.” John 13:4-5

  When He was finished, He got dressed again and sat back down at the table.

  What an incredibly human moment. I have often removed my “good” clothes to keep them from being soiled while tackling a particularly dirty job. 

  But I think Jesus’ actions have a much greater significance. He took off His robes, not out of care that they would become soiled, but as a symbolic representation of what was to come; when His robes would be stripped from His battered body and He cleansed the world from the power of sin by laying down His life.

  He dried their feet as well, taking care that the towel was kept clean by keeping it wrapped around His body instead of simply laying it on the floor beside the basin.

  

  I think of the roads I have traveled, the paths of sin I have followed or been led along willingly or unwillingly. I think of the places my feet have taken me that were so far removed from God and I was utterly lost.

  But I have a God that sees beyond all this. I have a God who helps me see beyond all this and live a better life. All because of a basin full of new beginnings and the humble grace of Jesus. This new life has happened because Jesus wrapped a towel of forgiveness around my soul.

 

  An odd thing has popped into my head. The expression, “throwing in the towel” has come about because of wrestling matches. It is a symbol of surrender. When one participant could no longer fight, the towel would be thrown into the ring. The match was over.

  God never will throw in the towel. It’s why Jesus wrapped it around Himself. AMEN!

A Bit of a Bunny Trail

  The Lord said…”But Nineveh has more than 120,000 people living in spiritual darkness, not to mention all the animals. Shouldn’t I feel sorry for such a great city?” Jonah 4:11

  I am wrestling with God’s destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah versus the sparing of Nineveh. The first two infamous cities were destroyed without warning because of their depravity; at least, no warning has been recorded in Scripture except for Lot and his family…

 

  Smile. Once again it would appear the Lord is taking me on a different track than the one I thought I was on. While reading the story of Sodom, I came across this passage. It leapt off the page. Lot is protecting God’s angels in his home from the crowd of men lusting after them.

   “See, now I have two daughters who have not known a man; please, let me bring them out to you and you may do to them as you wish; only do nothing to these men.” Genesis 19:8

  Maybe I am reading this from a twenty-first century perspective but I was shocked by this father’s offer to sacrifice his daughters to the mob. What sort of a father would do that?

  But…there is nothing in Scripture that does not reflect the heart of God or point to Jesus.

  Isn’t this exactly what God did? Offered His Son as an innocent sacrifice to protect all that is good and holy?

  Lot’s daughters were spared because the men in the mob weren’t swayed from their original purpose. Because of their violent determination to get to God’s angels, the mob made of both small and great men, were blinded.

  The angels took Lot, his wife and daughters by the hand and led them out of town.

  Is this because Lot was willing to offer anything to protect God’s messengers? Not that they actually needed protecting, these messengers of God were well able to look after themselves.

 

  God destroyed the two cities because there had been an outcry against them. Those who were suffering had turned to God. What happened to those people? Did they live there? Were they destroyed alongside the wicked?

  When I was in college, a group of us were walking up Yonge Street in Toronto after school. A young man was on the sidewalk, weeping and pleading over and over again, “Won’t somebody please help me?” I can still hear him to this day.

  Maybe it was the “please”. Maybe it was the utter despair in his voice that made me stop and ask what was wrong. (Having a group of friends nearby and the fact it was broad daylight on the busiest street in Toronto was a deciding factor as well.)

  “I just want to go home.” The tears poured down his face.

  Long story short, he was from a small town up north. He and a friend had come to Toronto to explore the big city. They had naively ended up in a bar that wasn’t the sort of place the average person would feel safe entering. I believe someone slipped something into their drinks. He ended up separated from his friend and had been trying for hours to get a passerby to help him.

  The help he wanted was to be told where the bus station was. So that’s what we did. My friends and I led him to the station that was less than a couple blocks away. He couldn’t thank us enough.

  Afterwards, my friends gave me heck for taking such a risk in talking to a stranger yet to this day I do not regret my decision.

  Did this same thing sort of thing happen thousands of years ago in Sodom and Gomorrah? Minus the bus station of course. Were these the people who cried out against these places and their people? Those whose innocence and naivety was used to take advantage of them?

  No wonder they cried out.

  I may have shared that particular anecdote before but I feel it has helped me understand God’s heart in this.  If I can take pity on one man, God’s pity, His compassion, is a gazillion times greater than my own. When we say please, when we humble ourselves, God listens. AMEN!

Much To Think About

  “Then the sailors picked up Jonah and threw him into the raging sea, and the storm stopped at once! The sailors were awestruck by the Lord’s great power and they offered him a sacrifice and vowed to serve Him.” Jonah 1:15

  As we listened to Sunday’s teaching, part of a series for the next few weeks on the Book of Jonah, I scribbled down a couple of questions.

  As the storm battered the ship and the crew grew desperate, why did Jonah have to be thrown into the sea?

  Why didn’t he jump overboard?

  The sailors had begged God not to let them die for Jonah’s sin. They asked God not to make them responsible for his death yet here they are, having to throw him overboard. But Jonah didn’t die did he? He was swallowed by a great fish for three days and three nights.

  One of the reasons for the significance of this very short Book is because of how it parallels or foreshadows the life of Jesus. This is a comment I have read or heard several times but I don't think that's where God is leading me this morning.

  Having got this far, I have paused to read the entire story seeing as I am not overly familiar with it. My only awareness of Jonah’s story was that he was swallowed by a whale and God saved him. There is a strong possibility I had some aspects of the story mixed up with the childhood tale of Pinocchio. He was swallowed by a whale and became a real boy by saving his father from the belly of the beast. (Smile.)

  Jonah’s story began when the Lord gave him a message to take to Nineveh. Jonah ran from the responsibility of telling the Ninevites they had been judged by God for their wickedness. Following all his misadventures, he eventually agreed to obey God.

  The people of the city repented of their evil ways. God spared them. Jonah was really ticked off by this because to be a prophet whose prophecy doesn’t come to fruition wasn't good. He asked God to take his life because he felt it wasn’t worth living! Then he went and built a shelter and sulked all the while watching what the Lord would do to Nineveh.

  The thing that leapt out as I read was God’s own question, “Is it right for you to be angry?” He asked Johah this on two separate occasions.

  It has caused me to reflect on when anger gets the better of me; when anger becomes a raging sea that threatens to overwhelm me.  Is my anger rooted in ego or righteousness? It bears some thinking about.

  What is righteous anger?

  Smile.

  I doubt I am the first person to ask that question.

 

  Hmmm…righteous anger has room for grace as God so clearly demonstrates time after time. It is, after all, why Jonah was saved by the big fish. It is also why God sent him to Nineveh in the first place.

  And that, my friends, is something to think about. AMEN!

So It Begins

  “Do your planning and preparing your fields before building your house.” Proverbs 24:27

  The planning has been done.

  The fields, or my driveway, have the excavation site spray painted and marked with flags.

  There is a fair bit to do inside yet but the crunch is on to get it done because the renovations start Tuesday or Wednesday. That’s a full two weeks earlier than I had expected so there is much to do this weekend.

  I am also going to give fair warning that blogging may be sporadic over the next little while because I am involved in doing a couple of projects of my own. This may have been shared before but it helps to keep my thoughts organized by writing it down. Hmmmm…is this me making a list?

  All the painting is my job. I will be doing the mudding and taping of the new drywall in the addition prior to painting that area. Closet doors will be built to match the ones in the master bedroom. I will be framing and installing the pantry door. The kitchen table is already redesigned. It just needs to be rebuilt and painted.

  I think I have purchased everything the contractor will need with the exception of a couple of things. Seeing as my contractor is swinging by on Monday, she will be able to answer any questions.

  Confirming that the wiring will be run for a vanity light in the bath has to happen before buying a light fixture.

  I need to know how wide the space is above the stove. Depending on the size, it may or may not require a new hood vent.

  Then there are the large items: stove, dishwasher, tub and toilet. There is some time to order those because these purchases can be organized to arrive once the cabinets are installed and the bathroom gutted.

  I also want to talk to my contractor about moving the washer and dryer. Because they are stacked, the washer weighs a good 350 pounds. It’s filled with cement to stop it from tipping. What I would like to do is build a platform with two by fours that run perpendicular to the floor joists. This should have been done when the machines were installed because it helps absorb sound and vibrations. I will build the platform. I just need some strong bodies to move the machines out of the way then lift them up on to it once the platform is in place.

  I think that’s it although there is bound to be some things I have overlooked. But that’s okay. I am as prepared as I can be. (Smile.)

  Lord, help me not be overwhelmed by the chaos. Fill me with patience and focus and the ability to go slow, one step at a time. In Jesus' name I pray, AMEN!