Branches

  “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.” Mathew 15:5 KJ

  In this version, the old King James and in the New King James it is written as, “you are the branches.” The italic emphasis is how this verse was printed.

  Why the emphasis? What’s so important about the word, “are”?

  All I can think of is how often we stress that little three letter word. When this happens, it usually accompanies some sort of identifier. You are a winner, are kind, are courageous. You are…the branches.

 

  Are.  Not will be. Not might be. Not could be. Not for just a little while or sometimes. Are.

  It’s an always and forever word. Amen!

  The affirmation exploration I embarked on a while back was hearing God tell me what I “are” according to His Word and His promises. But it needed to be internalized, owned, to be converted to an “I am”. Sometimes it was a painful process because as positive, life giving words were pouring into my soul; it pushed to the surface a lot of toxic “truths” that shaped who I thought I was.

  Not any longer (smile)…for the most part, anyways.

 

  What does it mean to declare, “I am a branch.”? To say it out loud makes it all the more real.

  It means, to me, I am forever inseparable from Jesus. It means I am a growing, living thing. It means that the “for the most parts” will be pruned away according to their season.

  But that’s not all. That’s the personal stuff.

   This is the best part. Being a branch is being part of a community. It’s an amazing community because not only are there other branches but there are also leaves providing food, both spiritual and carrot cake. Roots are the anchors:  those wise in the ways of Jesus. There are young buds full of the promise of growth: the children, the new believers. There are flowers, a promise of future harvest and whose sweet fragrance draws in the curious, the seeking.

  Flowers are also the hope that elsewhere Jesus vines will grow and prosper as the fruit bears its seeds to other gardens, other lands, other communities.

  I believe all of us in Christ are all these different aspects of the vine simultaneously with the exception of the main vine, the truth of Jesus Christ, that bears us all.

The Vine

  “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”  John 15:5 NKJV

  It’s an arid place where Jesus wandered and taught. Orchards and vineyards would have only grown where there was a nearby source of water. Flood plains surrounding the rivers, underground aquifers or oasis would have been the place to live, to be able to grow a variety of foods and fruit.

  Donkeys, sheep, and particularly goats, are able to make do with minimal, poor quality fodder. There must have been enough for them in the stony hills and rocky valleys or we wouldn’t hear so much about them in Scriptures. A mouthful here, a mouthful there: subsistence existence.

  (Those last two words gave me much to think about for a long while.)

  If I miss church or miss going to home church mid week; if I am not on worship team and having to practice a Friday night. Even if I have to skip blogging for a few days, I feel as though I am starving. I feel disconnected from God, my community, and the peace these bring into my life.

  A subsistence existence isn’t good enough.

  I believe this is what Jesus is talking about. Abiding in Him, living in partnership with Him, being with Him is being part of a vine that thrives in an eternal, never empty watershed.

 

  Sunday blessed me with another picture that helped me understand this idea. A reclining figure is resting in a strong nest made of vines. They also lovingly and tenderly wrap the figure without constricting or choking it. The vines’ sole purpose is to keep the person safely in the nest yet they give the figure freedom to leave if it should so desire. Even stronger vines, with large, lush leaves, arch overhead to protect this treasure from passing storms or scorching heat.

 

  Jesus calls us His branches. I am more than happy to be a tendril, one of those slender, green curly things that hold up the branches.  

  Thank You, Lord, for the tendrils that enable me to be enveloped by Your love. 

  Like seeing the blog stats this morning and finding I'd reached 97,000 hits exactly. Every one is a tendril that encourages me to keep sharing. Then there's our worship team leader, our pastor who encourage us in our roles. There's friends of faith and friends without. My mom. My children. Mustn't forget all the people who work in jobs that keep food in my pantry, gas in my car, technology running...an endless list. A global list. AMEN!

The Tree of Life

  “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

   I’ve always liked this particular scripture because, as a gardener, it is one of the easier passages to understand and relate to.

  A few years ago, I managed to get a lemon seed to germinate. The thorny tree has grown to a bit over three feet tall. It’s gotten scraggly so the idea is to cut the tree in half where a collection of branches has sprouted. That way, new growth will erupt on the branches I have chosen to keep. Perhaps new branches will sprout at the cut-off point to make the tree bushier and more attractive.

  The seed was sprouted to see if I could grow a lemon. Should the tree mature enough to flower, I will have to play bee. A small cotton ball should work to fertilize the flower. That is if it can fertilize its own blooms. Some fruit trees take two for this to succeed. I’ll just have to wait and see. There haven’t been any flowers yet. By cutting it back, the wait may be even longer. That’s okay.

  He, or she, who plants a seed, has hope.

  Many years ago, there was an ice storm that snapped a young birch tree in half. Within a couple of years, it had recovered to become twice the tree it had been. It was three times the tree when compared to the birches that had only bent over under the weight of the ice without breaking.

  I’ve been broken. That is when I found Jesus.

  I’ve been grafted. That was the moment I surrendered to the authority of Christ in my life.

  There’s a new kind of apple tree that will grow five different types of apple on one trunk. Being grafted into Christ means there will be fruit of all kinds just waiting to be harvested.

  I’ve been pruned. There’s a long list of all the things the Lord has helped me cast aside, forget, or forgive. Often the work was done to the roots of my understanding. Bad roots make for sickly growth.

  I’ve found rest. Either the Lord has done His work according to the seasons in my life or the seasons are there as a result of His work. That’s something I haven’t thought about before. Either way, He knows seasons of rest are as important as seasons of growth.

  And, praise God, there have been many harvests of truth and understanding.

  Tree farms in New Zealand will remove half the evergreens in a plantation at twenty years. The remaining half is left for another five years. Even though the tree doesn’t get much bigger, the wood within its trunk gets stronger because they are no longer as sheltered from the wind.

  The lemon tree has no option but to submit to my pruning shears. As a believer, I have the choice…but not really. You see, I want the things that are not of God removed from my life. I want to flourish as a Christian. More than anything, I want all that is good and holy to be in every aspect of my life.

  Having said that, Lord, get Your shears. (Smile.) Live me, love me, show me, grow me. In Jesus’ name I pray. AMEN!

The Gift

“On the last day, the climax of the festival, Jesus stood and shouted to the crowds, “Anyone who is thirsty may come to me! Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’ (When he said, ‘living water,’ he was speaking of the Spirit, who would be given to everyone believing in him. But the Spirit had not yet been given, because Jesus had not yet entered into his glory.)” John 7:37-39 JCB

    The parenthesis, or brackets, in this passage are like Christmas wrapping paper! The parenthesis wraps a promise, one of the greatest gifts from God we have received. It’s almost like Jesus placed a present under the tree for everyone when He shouted to the crowd.

  Unlike the people of Jesus’ day, we don’t have to wait until some far off future date to open it.

  It is something to be very thankful for, isn’t it? We have the Holy Spirit with us the moment we believe Jesus is the Son of God and invite Him into our lives. There’s no waiting. No apprenticeship. No testing. Nothing is needed to prove our worthiness for this most precious of presents.

  We don’t need to be good little boys and girls. The Elf on the Shelf does not exist in the realm of faith and grace.

  The gift of the Holy Spirit isn’t a reward for good behavior but the Holy Spirit will guide us into making better choices if we let Him.

  That’s another wonderful, blessed thing about this relationship with the Spirit of God. We are filled but we are not controlled by Him.

  The Lord knows I don’t always make the right choice. He also knows I don’t always listen.

  Why is that?

  (Smile.) Because I have my own parentheses that interject a whack of resistance to living in and through a life with Jesus: plain ole busyness, justification, excuses, sin, habits, and a strong disliking of being told what to do!

  God knows this about me. (Another smile.)

  Even so, my parentheses are a blessing because my weaknesses allow me to experience the limitless grace of God. Repenting of these imperfections allows me to receive His forgiveness. Having received, I am able to be more forgiving. It’s a win-win situation. And, I confess, one that takes practice. (It’s a smiling morning although this one has a generous helping of chagrin. Cha-grin is still a smile!)

  Nevertheless, experiencing God’s grace makes me want more! It makes me want to please the Lord even more. It makes me want to delete the interjections from my life. (Except for the smiles.)

  It’s about being reshaped into the person God designed me to be. It’s about wanting to be reshaped, the deepest desire of my heart. And that, my friends, is the only journey that matters.

  And (a huge, delighted, childish grin erupts!) I have the Holy Spirit to help me, guide me into becoming so much better than I am. What a beautiful present! AMEN!

Let it Flow.

  “On the last day, the climax of the festival, Jesus stood and shouted to the crowd, ‘Anyone who is thirsty may come to me! Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, “Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.”’ (When he said, “living water,” he was speaking of the Spirit, who would be given to everyone believing in him. But the Spirit had not yet been given, because Jesus had not yet entered into his glory.)” John 7:37-39

  I know the “rivers of living water” have been specifically designated as being representative of the Holy Spirit in this passage but for me it is also a wonderful metaphor for everything about Jesus, His life and His message.

  One of our home church questions was, “Have you ever known someone who had “rivers of living water” flowing out of them to others around them?” Last night Mother Theresa, Max Lucado, Billy Graham and several other famous persons were mentioned.

  I doubt this gift is reserved only for the famous. This gift is not necessarily the path to fame either.

  To have rivers of living water flowing from my heart is something I attain to. More than anything I want to be a life bringer to those people whose paths intersect my own. Through Jesus and with the help of my eternal companion, the Holy Spirit, I want to be able to offer the hope that is Jesus to the hopeless, the Peace beyond all understanding to the troubled and the greatest Love in all of history to the abandoned. (Ask and you will receive.)

  Lord, I need patience for the drivers who insist on tailgating at night, their headlights blindingly bright in my rear view mirror. That’s been happening a lot lately. (Smile.) I am a work in progress.

   My river doesn’t have to be huge or grandiose or even one of the Seven Wonders of the World. I am happy to be a trickle of a stream just big enough to make some small difference.

  I want to give thanks this morning because the blog has made it easy for me to incorporate the practice of daily meditation. I also want to give thanks because having a Scriptural focus starting my day has overflowed. This is different because the posts that were closed out with a Bible passage caused me to reflect only on what I had written. It's much better this way because when my mind is still, or my hands busy with a mundane task, I find myself musing on God's word instead.

  It serves as a reminder that Christ, of the Living Water, always flows within.

For God So Loved the World

  “On the last day, the climax of the festival, Jesus stood and shouted to the crowds, “Anyone who is thirsty may come to me! Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’” (When he said, “living water,” he was speaking of the Spirit, who would be given to everyone believing in him. But the Spirit had not yet been given, because Jesus had not yet entered into glory.)” John 7:37-39 JCB

  The climax of the Festival of Shelters was when a Pharisee would pour water from the sacred pool over the sacrificial altar. This was done in thanksgiving for God’s provision of water during the forty years the Hebrews, led by Moses, wandered in the wilderness.

  I keep reflecting on the Hebrew use of blood, of animal sacrifice, to atone for sin. Animals without blemish, ranging from doves to cattle according to the Law, were slaughtered. The blood was carefully collected then poured over the altar. Only then was a person considered purified. But it didn’t last. Sacrifices had to be made constantly simply because of it was impossible for anyone to abide by all the Laws given to Moses.

  Except Jesus.

  Pure and unblemished was the Lamb.

  “He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and a new life through the Holy Spirit.” Titus 3:5

  The altar at the temple must have been a gruesome sight…all that blood. I suppose growing up with this practice would have meant it was a normal sight, mundane, just one of those things: the familiar morphing into the unseen, the unremarkable.

  Jesus stood up and shouted. I have always imagined Him to be a quiet man. Gentle and lowly He calls Himself. To see Him leap to His feet and shout would have been remarkable. But then, His message is remarkable.

  There is nothing I can do to atone for my sins. Dealing with the consequences of free choice isn’t the same as atonement. I can repent when I stray because forgiveness is freely given. It’s that easy. No animals required.

  I can strive to make better choices, to turn my back on sin. I can give thanks I have the Holy Spirit to guide me into those better choices.

  I ask You, Lord, to continually remind me of Your presence in my life. Sometimes the gift of faith, of God’s Holy Spirit, becomes an unremarkable, taken-for-granted, aspect that gets lost in the day to day grind.

  That’s when I need You, Jesus, the most. I need You to stand and shout, “Here I am!”

  These things I pray in Jesus’ name. AMEN!

Come as You Are

“On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, ‘If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’ But this He spoke concerning the Spirit, who those believing in Him would receive: for the Holy Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.” John 7:37-39 NKJ

  Once again I am having issues with data so today I am doing things differently. I am typing this up in Word then copying and pasting it into the blog. Hopefully, it will be a less hungry way of continuing to pursue God’s Word.

   Last week’s passage and this week’s passage have a word in common that has been drifting through my thoughts throughout the day.

  “Come.”  

  I heard a story about a little girl. Her parents found her early one morning, sitting all prim and proper on a dining room chair as she watched TV. The living room had been tidied. The couch cushions had been fluffed. The kitchen table had been set for breakfast. The little girl was dressed in her best and prettiest dress. When they asked her what was going on, she replied, “The man on TV said Jesus is coming!”

  On the surface, it’s a delightful example of the innocence of children.

  Underneath is a profound revelation about how hard it is to go to Jesus just as we are.

  It’s a sad social comment how young we are when outside appearances are so vital to us believing we are good enough to come into the presence of Jesus.

  These are lies.

  So here’s the thing, we can choose to let go of the lies and take the first steps in being completely honest with God. Or not. But I have to ask the question, “What is standing in the way of honesty?”

  I think part our reluctance is because it is much easier to lie, to hide from the truth, than admit some of our thoughts are rather ugly. It’s like leprosy of the soul, heart and mind has made its mark on us.

  Jesus healed lepers.

  Jesus can heal us.

  “Come.”

Impressions and Continued Meditations

  "On the last day, the climax of the festival Jesus stood and shouted to the crowds, "Anyone who is thirsty may come to me! Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For Scriptures declare, 'Rivers of living water will flow from his heart!' (When he said, "living water,' he was speaking of the Spirit, who would be given to everyone believing in him. But the Spirit had not yet been given, because Jesus had not yet entered into his glory.)" John 7:37-39

  We learned what the Jewish Festival of Shelters was. Jewish people move out of their homes to live in shelters or tents for a week, symbolic of the journey the freed Hebrew slaves made. The climax was an act celebrating God's provision of water during the forty years they spent in the wilderness following their release. A high ranking Pharisee would make a pilgrimage through Jerusalem to their sacred pool. (I heard the name but it has slipped my mind.) He would fill a large, gold chalice with its water then parade it back to the sacrificial alter. The Pharisee would pour the water over the alter as an offering of gratitude to God.

  (There was a long pause...)

  I think of Christ being the living water, the source of life; how His blood became the water to wash away my sins.
  I think of baptism.
  I think of the moment the Roman guard pierced His side to confirm He was dead on the cross and a mixture of blood and water poured out.
  I think of Jesus walking across the water to be with His disciples.
  And Peter stepping out of the boat only to sink. The water would have flickered and danced above him. Can you imagine just how beautiful it would have been to see the living Christ's hand reaching down to pull him to safety?
  I think of Jesus washing the disciples' feet.

  Water. A life giving necessity to our existence.
  Water. The Black River, my personal metaphor for life with a mental health challenge. That has slowly evolved to represent life's challenges in general. Praise God!

  Another drawing emerged during yesterday's service as we did a guided practice run of meditating on the passage that has been assigned for this week.
  Time and again, I've seen images of  two rivers coming together like where the silt filled, brown Amazon meets the dark, clear waters of the Green River. It wasn't what I drew.
  What emerged was like where the Colorado River travels through the Grand Canyon and another river joins up. Each one has cut a huge, deep channel in the multi-hued layers of rock. They meander along the bottom of these steep cliffs, sometimes calm, sometimes furiously until they come together. Like the Amazon, the rivers are two distinct colours. A line is created down the middle of the divergence. It's not a perfect line because the currents swirl and eddy as they bump against each other. Farther downstream, the mixing is complete. The two rivers have become one.

  I have to give thanks this morning. For a few months now, I've simply been blogging about whatever has come to mind then finishing it with a scripture verse. This practice was starting to feel wrong, as though I was missing something.
  Praise God, the closing verse He led me to always fit!
  But...I much prefer this format of placing the scripture first just like I had done during the affirmation journey. Now, instead of fitting God's word into my life and experiences, it is now allowing God to apply my life experiences into deeper revelations of His word.
  This will mean change. This will mean growth as our two rivers swirl together; as I allow my own  to be completely mixed in with Christ's life giving waters. .
 
 
 

 

God is Good!

   "'Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Mathew 11:28-30 King James version

  Before I begin exploring the part about finding rest unto (it's why it's highlighted this morning) our soul, I want to acknowledge and give thanks to God. In meditating on a passage over the course of several days, chapter and verse becomes cemented into my mind. A short while ago I had mentioned my inability to do just that. So, here we are, one has been memorized. It's a start!
  Part of me realizes it could take a year to work through this passage and there would still be much to learn, to discover. Every passage in the Bible could be broken down word by word and explored!
  I give thanks the Lord grants fresh inspiration every time a Bible passage is re-read. Thank You, Lord, for making Your word alive and pertinent to every person's life throughout the ages.

  Today started with looking up the word, unto. It's an archaic word for "to".
  In thinking about this, "To" implies a journey to a destination. Hmmm...It could be a mark of measurement or direction ie filled to the brim.
  Hmmm, again...No...that example implies a journey, a process, as well. Something is filled (the process) to (direction) the brim (final destination).

  Let's go with it.
  We mortal beings are more than a soul. There's our physical bodies consisting of a skeletal framework, veins, arteries, muscles and tendons. We have several major organs like our brain and a heart.
  Then there's our spirit. It's an intangible part of us, the feeling part. Yet our feelings can create a physical reaction like tears of joy or sorrow. Nothing about emotions is simple...the understatement of the year! (Smile.)
  The other intangible aspect of our being is our soul, the fundamental essence of who we are; who God designed us to be. This can get lost but it can be found when we open our mind to Jesus.
  So, when Jesus says He will give us rest unto our souls, is He implying that every other aspect of our  humanity will find rest as well? Is He saying He will give us rest from the top of our head to the tips of our toes and everywhere in between? Is He saying that His rest will fill us to the brim?

  Experience has shown me, "Yes!" Praise God!
  I am already on the journey unto a final destination: rest.
  Along the way. I will celebrate the moments when brief glimmers of Jesus's all encompassing rest manifests itself in my life, my body and my soul. I can give thanks that this happens more and more over time as I allow Him to continue to work in my life.
  True rest is coming; the rest that is a peace beyond all understanding.
 
 
 

A-musing

  "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." Mathew 11:28-30

  Just as yesterday's post wrapped up, a TV ad came to mind. The featured item probably has its own show on the shopping channel because it's one of those long, annoying ads that shout for at least three minutes about how I can't live without whatever it is they are selling. Thank you Lord for the mute button!
  It ends with the now familiar tag line, "Not only can I get one for three equal payments of $19.99, but if I act quickly, I can get another for free! That's two for the price of one! This offer will not last!"
  "Just pay extra shipping and handling," is almost whispered at the very end...verbal fine print.
  Yah. The adman's spiel.
  "Operators are standing by."
  Oh! I'd better call them right away! The poor, lonely dears with nothing better to do but look forward to my call. (Smile.)

  In keeping with my musings on the idea of Jesus's burden being light, the ad is for a flashlight,. Not an ordinary flashlight, mind you. This even-better-than-military-grade invention can be submerged under water for hours, frozen in a block of ice, baked, (maybe not) and its brilliant LED lamp still functions. Or so the ad claims.
  It can even survive being driven over by a tank! Although it's a safe bet the flashlight was carefully placed on soft ground but the visual was impressive as a creative marketing ploy.
  It doesn't matter if everything they claim is true because, as I thought about the ad, I realized I want to be like this flashlight. I want to be able to handle all the stresses of life without my light dimming. Even when it feels like a bulldozer or tank has gone rampant. That's a fine metaphor for anxiety!
  You see, Jesus is the soft ground beneath me. Faith is my battery. And nothing, nothing, will ever take that away or lessen its power.

  Lord, there are times when I feel apart from You. There are times when darkness creeps in. In those moments, You still answer prayers. You bring Your light into the shadows to augment my flickering, faded light. Even when I don't know I have come to You with whatever burdens my soul until I am free. Thank You for that. AMEN!
 

King James Translation

  "Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light." Mathew 11:28-30

  As we focused on Sunday's teaching at small group last night, I got thinking about our (mine included) reluctance to begin incorporating daily meditations on Scriptures. I got thinking about the number of times a pastor has encouraged us, me, to do this. It always felt like a burden, a chore. One more thing on the to-do list.
  Ewww...homework!
  Maybe it's because we are conditioned to show visible results for our time...invisible ones don't count. But that's a lie! Invisible results have a visible effect.
  We have a battle on our hands. Which makes sense because there is one who doesn't want this to happen. He doesn't want God's children to grow into a place of understanding, of enlightenment. He doesn't want us to have a foundation in the knowledge of Truth. He wants us to remain in the dark.

  My mind has often wandered over the last few days to reflect on Monday's post about Christ's burden being actual light. It struck me that meditating on Scriptures brings joy, a lightness of being to my heart! God's Word is a powerful source of illumination. The entire Book is a spotlight shining on Jesus, the heart of God. It is our tangible, touchable connection to Him. This blessed and holy Book contains everything we need to learn of Him.
  "Of" was highlighted because the previous translations had written this as learn from Him. If I don't know who He is how could this be possible?

  I imagine when I open my Bible, the side by side pages glow then erupt in a brilliance as radiant as the sun. Like the rays of light emanating from Christ's pierced hands, it is almost blinding. Words begin to rise up and flow along the Jacob ladder beams.

  "I, Jesus, loved you first."

Meditations Continued

  "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Mathew 11:28-30 NKJV

  It seems like a good idea to delve into different translations of the Bible as I continue to explore, to meditate on, this passage.
  What has jumped out this morning is the phrase, "Learn from Me." The Jesus Centered Bible translated it as Jesus saying, "Let me teach you."

  I heard something a couple of weeks ago that has changed my perceptions a whole lot. To be a disciple is like being an apprentice as opposed to being a student. The biggest part of an apprenticeship is hands on learning by doing.
  Students may attain great knowledge but there often isn't a practicum to put learning into life. A student doesn't have to get their hands dirty. It's all theory.
  Hold on a minute...apprenticeship programs use both: books and dirty hands.

  Knowledge without practical use often fades away. The skills I learned (as a student) in art and music continue to be part of my life. Yet, my knowledge of mathematics has become an abbreviated skill because I don't use it often enough. Never mind the fact I barely understood half of it once they tossed in the alphabet. (Smile.)

  There's encouragement in Jesus's call to learn from Him. He isn't asking us to do anything He doesn't do Himself.
  Now, I don't know if this is influenced by the North American education system but when I think of a classroom, there is a hierarchy. Teachers are the authority. The students are subjects of that authority which often uses punishment to correct in lieu of encouragement.
  The system of rewarding the best students is a cruel one.
 
  And another "yet"...Jesus is my Master. He is authority with a capital "A".
  He is a good Master who wants to share His skills, His wisdom, His way of loving with me. His Father wrote the Book on it all to make sure I could study His ways. There's no punishment if I get it wrong, only encouragement to try and do better.
 
  Lord, forgive me. I need to toss away the scale, the rating system learned in school. It is both archaic and inapplicable to a walk with You. It has no place in a life of grace and mercy. Teach me to be alert to its insidious ways.
 Ha. It's funny what comes to mind... I forgive those who berated me for not having math skills, for not trying hard enough, for not getting good enough grades. Oh...I need to forgive myself for believing this made me stupid.

  Lord, bless the mathematicians!!! AMEN!
 
 
 

 

Meditations

  "Then Jesus said, 'Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and the burden I give you is light." Mathew 11:28-30 (JCB)

  I have homework this week. Yes, my church gives us homework in keeping with the fundamental belief that faith, Jesus, is an every day partner and not just reserved for a Sunday's service. All of us have been asked to meditate on this passage every day.
  This isn't a foreign idea to me. It's what I am doing with the Lazarus story. Thinking about it from many different angles. (Ha, the typo was angels before it was corrected!) Imagination is allowing me to make the story richer.
  So this is what I am going to use this time for: meditating or exploring this passage from Mathew for the next several days because I am not so great at thinking unless there's written words to reflect on.
  Writing keeps me focused. Writing enables me to expand on an idea, an inspiration. I don't write full steam ahead. I take numerous, short breaks to meditate, to think. Writing enables me to delve deeper into understanding.
  The breaks are much needed moments of opening my heart and mind to the Holy Spirit because the breaks are infinitely more valuable than words. SELAH. (means to pause, to meditate). The breaks are needed for the mind to expand.
  It's no coincidence that this passage is being brought to mind again because I think I had recently written something about the yoke that sparked a dialogue with a friend.

  As we did a practice run yesterday at church, I was blessed with an image when we reached the part that says, "The burden I give you is light."
  It is one of my greatest joys, being given a visual representation of an idea because they encapsulate a thousand words. It also touches my heart with a generous dose of infusing love because God knows I am a visual learner. He has always known.
  I quickly sketched a pair of pierced hands representing the hands of Jesus. Beams of light are emanating from the holes left by His sacrifice on the cross. It streams out from the front and back, lighting the darkness.
  A few strokes of a pen have had a profound impact.
  It's possible that Jesus means the burden isn't heavy but the thought of having a burden made of light intrigues me.
  It would weigh nothing.
  Light chases away shadows. Light also reveals what's hiding in the dark.
  Holding up the fruit of darkness to the Source of this light is the first step in letting go of hate, shame, blame, guilt, bitterness and a whole lot more. The light is the birthplace of honesty, of confession and release. After honesty, grace and forgiveness have space to move in.
  Light guides our path. If experience has taught me anything, it's knowing the path of grace and forgiveness is a winding road. Knowing the path before us doesn't mean it's an easy road.
  Not knowing the path is an opportunity to develop trust. (Smile. I need to work on that!)
  Jesus gives us His light burden because, in allowing it to infiltrate every part of us, we cannot stop becoming a light unto the world.

  To God be the glory!
 

Autumn Glory

  It's that season again, when all the leaves slip off their green mantle and wrap themselves in glorious colour. Whenever a road trip is necessary, I try and take the prettiest drive to get there because  autumn beauty is only here for a brief while. Especially if a wind roars in. It doesn't take long for the trees to stand bare branched.
  Yet, bare branches have their own beauty. They reveal the story of how wind, water, heavy snows, and ice have shaped their being.

  I watched a show on fractals a long while ago but the concept keeps me fascinated. That's why I am going to write about it again. (Smile.)
  A basic fractal pattern begins with a starting line then divides equally, the divisions divide again and so forth until a fan shape appears. This basic model ends up looking like a perfect tree. The mathematicians put one of these drawings through a computer simulation modelling the effects of the elements on the shape of the lines or branches. It ended up being a very natural looking tree, twisted and leaning.
  It amazed me to learn a forest is built the same way. A large tree will have two smaller ones nearby. The two smaller ones will have four; the four sixteen even smaller trees. What seems to be a random chaos of forest is actually laid out in a set mathematical formula.
  It provided science with the ability to measure how much oxygen a forest can create.
  It gave me goosebumps to realize here was proof a forest is rooted in intentional design.
  It also helped me see that God is a God of pattern. The tree branch fractal appears everywhere in our natural world. From huge cascading rivers to the veins with us, it's there.

  It's obstacles that remove the mathematical precision. Nothing in nature is a straight line.
  Ha! Nothing in life is a straight line. It's a series of forks in the road. It's a series of decisions and choices.
  I will say one thing about science. The more we learn, the closer we get to God.

  And I am being led this morning to invite any of my readers who aren't followers of Jesus to ask Him to be part of your life. The road is forked, the decision is yours. Which way will you take?

  "Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find." Mathew 7:7
 

Limbic System

  Every once in a while, something comes at me from several directions. This time, the limbic system was mentioned in a book I am reading. Then it was mentioned on a documentary. The last was through a friend's email.
  It's like having Jesus tell me to stand up and pay attention! So I will.

  First of all, it is made up of several parts of the brain. Most of which I can't spell. It contains the memory, emotion, motivational and olfactory areas. So that explains why an aroma can be such a huge memory trigger. It's closely connected.
  I need to do some more research out of sheer curiosity.
  It also has something to do with learning quite a while ago that emotional trauma causes brain damage. It might help me understand why I get so anxious at times or why my fight/flight response gets running on overdrive. That's basically what anxiety is.
  There has to be a physiological piece to this I haven't considered.
  I used the analogy to describe anxiety that it's like being nibbled to death by mice. It's a gruesome analogy but, sometimes, every little day to day task can be like a mouse bite. Before I know it, there a whole flock of mice nibbling away and the anxiety explodes.
  I'd like to know why this doesn't happen all the time. What is the difference when there isn't any nibbling yet the day to day hasn't changed? What else is influencing my coping abilities or lack thereof?
  Perhaps in the knowing, I will find healing. Or at least, patience for my seeming inability to control the mouse flock when they decide to show up en masse. Impatience only adds more mice.
  What I need is a better mouse trap.

  Lord, thank You for inspiring me to look at things from a different direction. AMEN!

  ""Can anyone hide from me in a secret place? Am I not everywhere in all the heavens and earth?" says the Lord." Jeremiah 23:24

Making a Start

  To embark on journey, the first step must be taken.
  So I've stepped and begun exploring the Lazarus story through creative writing. As I read through the Scriptures containing the story for inspiration, something came up that I hadn't noticed before. Jesus gets angry.
  The only other time I remember Jesus's anger being made note of is when He overturned the money-changers' tables in the Temple. The reason is clear. In fact, Jesus clearly tells us why He is angry.
  I may have heard some mention of Jesus's anger in a vaguely remembered sermon on Lazarus but having it brought to my attention, or should I say, in paying more attention to the story, it's in my face. It has stirred up a gazillion questions because the reason isn't so clear.
  It has left me wondering why Jesus grew angry and why He stayed angry. I also have to ponder about why He wept even though this short verse has been crucial to my own journey. Reading about Jesus weeping gave me permission to begin the grieving process that has brought so much freedom to my life. If the Son of God can cry, so could I.

  While I am taking some creative license with the story, to presume to write Christ's perspective is not an area I plan on delving into. This doesn't mean I can't ask questions. It would help to understand better because the story is being creatively written from Lazarus's perspective. There's Martha and Mary's perspective and I am leaning towards placing myself in the crowd around the tomb. Actually, that is a key part of the creative story.
  What would it have been like to witness Christ's anger? His tears? Would I, as a witness, have understood why?
  A writer can only write about what they know.
  Lord, I want to know. I would like some insight into what made Your Son angry. Grant me the knowledge. Grant me the wisdom to see Your love through Jesus's anger.

  So what do I know about anger? It can be rooted in love. The best example is when a child runs into the street and her mother gets angry with her. The mother was afraid her child might have been hurt, or worse. But that is only one facet of the complexities of anger.
  Maybe that's another starting point: understanding the roots of anger because anger is a secondary emotion, not a primary one.
  Hmmm, it would appear journeys have multiple starting points. Thank You, Lord, for guiding me to the right ones and for having everything come together. AMEN!

  "When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled." John 11:33
 

New Month

   My phone has begun a new billing period so hopefully last month's data shortage will not happen again. I will try my best not to use the phone for any frivolous purposes. This is a good thing. It's easy to waste away a hunk of time perusing various websites that aren't really pertinent to anything that is going on. Rambling curiosity that, once satisfied, disappears from the brain, never to be thought of again. But that's one of the downsides to technology. Why remember when it's possible to look something up as many times as is needed?
  I am not knocking technology. I've picked up many skills watching YouTube videos. Everything from advanced knitting to key woodworking abilities have been learned because of others sharing their skills online. It has also helped to check out a couple of different videos to gain a clearer understanding of "How To".
  It has also been used to explore matters of faith, of religion, to help me cement my own beliefs, to learn about others' and to find obscure Scriptures the Lord brings to mind. Most of those are obscure because there aren't many passages I can quote chapter and verse for. Hmmm, having internet means I don't need to remember them.
  Perhaps this is something to be mindful of in the future. I haven't memorized them because it hasn't been necessary. Yet, if I am to write about the Lazarus story, it would be a good idea to remember where it is instead of having to look up its location every time! (Smile.)

  Lord, I give thanks this morning for being able to offer a rare smile over my inadequacies. Upon reflection, they used to be fodder for beating myself up...another smile...sometimes they still are! Thank You, that the smiles contain a generous helping of grace, Your grace.
  Thank You, that despite my shortcomings of a frail memory, You lead me to an appropriate passage in Your Word every time I seek for it.

  "Jesus replied, 'The most important commandment is this: 'Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength." Mark 12:29-30

 

Nothing on Paper Yet

  Since the revelation a few days ago, I've been knitting men's mittens for the centre's Christmas gift drive in my true obsessive manner, or should I say passionate instead. That's a better word.
  It's a fairly automatic task because there's quite a few under my belt now. The TV is on for company while my needles click away, devouring yarn and giving it form. Despite these distractions, the ole gray matter has been busy in the background, thinking about the book.
  There's much to think about; to pray about. Things like who the target market might be for such a book. Could it appeal to a non-Christian reader? Would the prayer be geared to a specific audience or is it to be broader than that? Hmmm, could this be a series? Or maybe that's jumping the gun. Let's start with getting the first one finished or should I say, started.
  Should it be laid out in a devotional form? A journal form? A combination of the two? How big might it be? Or how small? Would it be something that could transfer to an audio book to reach an even greater audience? What about using the blog?
  Can I use story telling or creative licence to immerse the reader in the story of Lazarus without straying too far from its scriptural foundation? In the past I've been inspired to explore parts of the Passion story from the donkey's perspective as well as the guards placed at Christ's tomb. They added a further dimension to the story for me as I placed myself there, in those moments.
  Then there comes a time to stop thinking things to death and simply get on with it.

  Our church has been doing a series about the faith cycle of trust>grow>give>go>community> which leads back to trust. Our pastor asked us yesterday to think about what aspect of the cycle is the most difficult. I get stuck on trusting. Regularly. It puts the brakes on the whole cycle.
  But I think, even if trust is something I struggle with, taking a leap of faith in spite of it will help build trust and break down the walls of fear. If I practice long enough...It might just end up being as instinctive and fearless as knitting mittens.

  "Then He said to me, "Speak a prophetic message to these bones and say, 'Dry bones, listen to the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Look! I am going to put breath into you and make you live again! I will put flesh and muscles on you and cover you with skin. I will put breath into you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.'" Ezekiel 37:4-6

Roller Coaster

  In the thick of it, I am blind.
  Thank you, everyone for your prayers because even though there is still some anxiety, out of it has come a clear vision. It's no longer strong enough to quench hope and purpose. Perhaps that's why the anxiety was there, to stop me from seeing the direction my life is to take; to stop me from believing it had a direction.
  It is far outside my comfort zone. It will be God that will sustain me as I embark, once again, on a writer's journey because I believe God has given me something worth sharing.
  Oh, the usual objections are there...I am not qualified. There's no letters after my name. I am not a pastor nor minister. My Bible knowledge requires a concordance or Google to find passages the majority of the time. In short, I am nobody, just a middle-aged woman in the crowd.
  God loves us nobodies.
  I will also trust that He will provide sound counsel throughout the process. This is not a journey to embark on by myself.
  Here's the thing. This writing will not be my work, but God's. As such, I must trust Him to do with it as He will. I must trust Him to shape it into its final form.
  But He is good, too. Knowing my writing has reached around the globe is both humbling and a confidence booster! (Thank you!)
  It will be called "The Lazarus Prayer". (Maybe.)
  I had written out a brief version for a friend several days ago not realizing it would end up being an outline, a starting point. (A new idea for me as well...what's planning?)
  The prayer's foundation is the story of Jesus' miracle when He called Lazarus back to life. I believe I have shared before about the bit that seems to get glossed over. It's when Jesus commanded the surrounding witnesses to unwrap the grave clothes from Lazarus after he arose from his tomb. That's the prayer, words to do the unwrapping.
  It makes me smile a bit because I have always envisioned Lazarus looking like an Egyptian mummy from a cheap horror flick. GRRR! AAARGH! So, there needs to be some research. One of my weak points. I'd sooner jump right in!
  There needs to be some big sheets of paper to brainstorm on aka seek God's ideas and to help discern what the final product will look like. That's a different approach as well. NO DIVING!
  Lord, help me wrest every little nuance from the story!
  And maybe this is why the few larger fiction pieces I've tried to write have fizzled. This gift was meant for something far more.
  Wow.
  Lord, keep in me a humble heart.
  And maybe, just maybe, in among the anxiety is a bit of excitement.
  "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. An you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere--in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." Acts 1:8

AAAaaaaagh!!! Not again!!

   It's different sitting in a cafe trying to write while conversations swirl all around. Staring at the back of another patron is a far cry from the view from the kitchen window this morning. It blessed me with glimpses of a Pileated Woodpecker. It's one of the largest woodpeckers, very shy, rarely seen and judging by the amount of wood falling away, very strong.

  Long pause.

 
  This isn't working today. I am distracted by a gazillion things. Not just the crowd around me.
  Ha. It's hard to write, to focus on matters of faith when my stomach is in knots because the old fiend, anxiety is through the roof. Although I am now recognizing it as a partially seasonal event this year. The shortening days always hit me hard. It's good to finally figure one contributing factor out.
 
  It's hard to focus when I am angry at everything and nothing. Being angry about being anxious is not helpful. Fuel for the fire and all that.
  And then I get all condemning about the anger...How unChristianlike I am!
  Sigh.

  It's draining when every time something new gets added to my plate, regardless if it is a little task or a big one, it sends me over the top with the screaming heebie-jeebies.
  Renovating the bathroom? It's not going to happen any time soon...it's just too much to handle right now.
  The joys of an anxiety disorder...maybe that's part of the anger. I am tired of it. And yes, feeling very bitter this morning.

  But, as matters stand, it's the stark reality of my daily/hourly existence.
  Yes, I have good stretches but when the scales are balanced, like I said earlier, it doesn't take much to unbalance them.
  So...where is God in all of this?

  "O Lord, I am calling to you. Please hurry! Listen when I cry to you for help! Accept my prayer as incense offered to you, and my upraised hands as an evening offering." Psalm 141:1-2

 
 

 
 
 

Change Up

  Technology has changed. I need to think how I manage to chew through so much data. My habits haven't changed that much. Or maybe they have in subtle ways. Having an increased data limit doesn't seem to have rectified the problem with my home internet access. Especially since my provider hasn't adjusted my account to reflect the added amount. That problem is to be rectified on October 9th. But, even with the recent addition, I would have run out anyways.
  So if I disappear around the first week of the month, it's because I've run out of data. Overages are an obscene amount of money. One and a half gigs over costs $100. Yes, Canadians pay one of the highest rates for phone, internet and so forth.
  Regardless, I need to go on a data diet. Which is partially why I haven't blogged the last couple of days. 
  This morning sees me in a local coffee shop utilizing their free-to-customer WiFi, coffee and muffin at hand. "Free" is a matter of perspective.
  So, the diet. Which is actually more about setting some boundaries. I will no longer check work emails at home. Instead, they will be dealt with at work. It's supposed to be that way anyways but finding massive amounts of mail to go through when there's limited time...a modern problem. It's why I peeked in a couple times a week.
  I won't use my phone at work to Google stuff for visitors (and me) unless it's hooked up to our WiFi.
  Sharing photos on the blog and on Facebook is expensive now I realize my phone takes pictures that utilize more pixels ergo more megawhatsis. Facebook stuffs itself on data, too. All the posted comments, pictures, movies, aren't free to look at in terms of data. The irrelevant ads only make it worse.
  My use of Facebook might be coming to an end, or at least, it will be greatly restricted...something to peruse when a WiFi hot spot is available.
  I think it boils down to staying away from anything that contains images like checking out flyers, store products, or online shopping. Looking at kitchen designs is part of that. It will have to be the old fashioned way...imagine! Going into a store! Purchasing a magazine!
  But I do have to be grateful there are plenty of restaurants, coffee shops, businesses and even the library that offer WiFi services to their customers. The choice of location this morning was a higher end coffee shop because it is usually quieter than the nearby Tim Hortons. The coffee is extra tasty, too. And who knows what conversations will arise from having my Bible on the table beside me. Lord, Your will be done!
  For the next nine days, I'll need to go out to blog. This could mean posting is a bit sporadic. We'll just have to see.
  Thank You, Lord, for the businesses who recognize the need for technology. Bless them for it. In Jesus' name I pray. AMEN!
  "He also asked, "What else is the Kingdom of God like? It is like the yeast a woman used in making bread. Even though she put only a little yeast in three measures of flour, it permeated every part of the dough." Luke 13:20-21