It

 

  “But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.” Mat 5:44-45

 

  I confess to struggling with enemy love this morning. Maybe if I sit here and write, God will open my heart beyond the pain it is feeling. The events at the Meeting House have left me unsettled and full of anger towards men who use their power and authority to subjugate women.

  I have personal experience because I learned my lessons well. Male authority was not to be challenged. This was part of the culture I was raised in, a hangover from the 1950’s.

  I think too, of the tacit permission men are given that not only authorizes sexual behaviours it encourages them. Sexual prowess is admired. Multiple partners are something to boast about. A man with a wife and a mistress? Lucky dog!

  Men, in their pursuit of these accolades, are not to be held accountable. Boys will be boys don’t you know!

  I enjoy watching NCIS but one thing has really started to bother me. Tony Dinozzo, one of the main characters, frequently makes inappropriate remarks towards the women who cross his path. A joke is made about his having missed this year’s sexual harassment training. It’s laughed off. Even by the women who were targeted. This scenario happens in multiple episodes—kind of a running gag about Tony’s attempts at seduction.

  Folks, this is wrong.

  It’s nothing to laugh about. Not. One. Bit.

 

  There is nothing worse than being treated like a thing.

 

  And that is at the heart of it all. It’s why I suffered so much. It’s why I was tossed away like yesterday’s garbage. My identity as a woman, a person, was crushed by disregard and neglect and abuse. Submission was the only way to survive. I didn’t know I deserved better because, except in these latter years, no male in my life ever showed me I did.

  So yes, I am angry. I am angry for the woman who so bravely came forward to speak about what had happened to her and is maligned and insulted for it. I am angry for the little girls who become sexualized long before they stop playing with dolls. I am angry for the young women who believe having sex is a barometer of their worth.

  I am angry at the men who still believe sexual, emotional and financial dominance is their right and that we women should just shut up and take it.

  It’s time to stop justifying these sorts of behaviours.

  It’s time to stop making excuses.

  It stopped being funny a long time ago.

  Men, if you don’t understand what I am saying, you need to listen to women and hear their stories. Learn about the dynamics of an abusive relationship. Learn to identify the cultural norms that create power dynamics. More than anything, if she has been broken by abuse, ask her, “What happened?”

  My answer to that?

  I didn’t think I had a choice.

  A thing, you see, doesn’t have any rights.

 

 Besides, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

 

  Lord, be with me. Be with those who bore the full brunt of my anger this morning, Bruxy included. Be with those who seek to know more, who are open to hearing the cries of a woman’s heart. Be with those women whose hearts cry out to You for healing, restoration, grace and acceptance.

  AMEN.