The Shuffle

  My phone was running out of data. It's my lifeline to the internet having no other options because of where I live. It's the second time it's been necessary to see about getting more. I am glad I did because I discovered something...
  The last time an increase was needed, I went into the Alliston Rogers store to talk to the sales people. With the increase in data, I was entitled to a "free" tablet. Yesterday's chat with the online Rogers people revealed I've actually been paying $10 a month to have it. No mention of this fee was made at the time. Had I been told this, I never would have gotten the tablet. Because it's been more than 15 days, I cannot return it so I'm locked in for two more years to pay the sucker off.
  Their online bill doesn't contain a breakdown of services. That needs to change. It's why it came as a surprise.
  On the other hand, it has been useful. Especially when my laptop died. I just can't help feeling ripped off. I guess I was.

  The online chat with Rogers yesterday has rectified the data issue. Of course, it means spending more. In order to balance the books, thankfully I could cut back on my TV package. The last time my land line got cancelled to offset the expense which is a good thing. No more telemarketers. Losing some TV stations is okay, too. I watch too much TV anyways.

  Sigh. It just goes to show if you don't know what questions to ask, answers are rarely forthcoming.

  That's my rant for the day but a rant without action is useless. I will get hold of Rogers to see if they will change their billing format so every customer has a clear understanding of what they are paying for.

  "Then Jesus said to the disciples, "Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, 'May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea!' and it will happen." Mark 11:22-23

 

 
 
 
 

Relief

  Rain swept through the area last night with welcomed relief from the sticky heat. Driving home from a dinner party with the windows down, the deliciously cool air swirling around the car was as refreshing as a dip in a pool!
  There's relief as well that my mom, having undergone major surgery yesterday, is recuperating well. She should be discharged on Friday so I will be heading down to her place on Saturday to stay for a few days. A strong pair of arms might come in handy.
  I confess I was worried. Very worried. Oh, she had passed all the pre-op examinations or the surgery wouldn't have happened, but still...any surgery has risk even for the young. Thank You, Lord, for answered prayers. Thank You that her recovery will be quick, that there will be no complications. Thank You that her pain will be minimal.
 
  I had a conversation with someone earlier this week about our emotions, about feelings like worry and jealousy among others. Jesus tells us we don't need to feel these things if we trust in Him and His Father's path for our lives and the lives of others.
  I have to confess I am not very good at it. The darker side of emotions regularly rear their heads in the course of a day. I believe it is more important how we handle these feelings rather than trying to squash them. Our feelings are a gift, a reflection of the One in whose image we are made.
  God is a jealous God. Jesus displayed anger as He overturned the money changers' tables in the temple. His fear was great as He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane.
  Yesterday's worry is a prime example because I needed Jesus' strength to help me overcome my anxiety. And it was complicated. Worry is an all encompassing label for a stew of emotions. Within the worry was the terrible imaginings of loss. I was preparing myself for the worst. (Thank You again, Lord, the worst did not happen!)
  Here's the thing. By following Christ's example in the Garden, throughout the day I lifted these feelings and dark imaginings to the Lord by praying for my Mom. I grew to recognize that no matter what happened, I would not be going through it alone.
 
  "God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs." Mathew 5:3
 

 

Grab Bag

  It is extremely hot today, in keeping with the rest of the summer. Last night some vicious thunderstorms rolled through the area with tornado watches all across central Ontario. A news crew filmed one forming just as the sun was going down. It touched down but only briefly. That's a good thing because they can be terribly devastating.
  None of the worst weather hit here but when I went outside after dark, the north-eastern sky was flickering and flashing as lightning did its sky dance. It was odd not hearing anything. Odd, but relieving. Thunderstorms aren't my favorite.
  I don't know why I've always been scared of them but I have. It's silly, really because there's four walls and a roof to protect me. The basement is always a safe go-to if needed.

  The furnace guys are here to finish up a few things: a missing elbow joint on the air intake, a new thermostat and the fun job of hauling the old furnace out. They've ended up having to take it out the front door so I moved a bunch of furniture around to make it easy. Most of the work was done yesterday. It's good to know I'm set for the winter.
  They have fired it up to make sure everything is as it should be. So much for closing the windows this morning to keep out the heat. Hopefully it won't need to run long.
  It's rather amusing, thinking about heating the house when the weather outside is over-heating the house but I know it will get cold soon enough.
  Ah, autumn, my favorite season. The crisp mornings with an icing sugar coating of frost. The blue sky that has a certain shade not found in any other season. The geese gathering on the lake. The sight of other northern breeding species passing through on their way south...but mostly, it's the colours.
  Fiery reds, golds, oranges, cinnamon browns...a feast for the eyes.

  It's all rather mundane but this is a wonderful opportunity to give thanks for being able to live in a country where the weather is anything but boring.

  "The heavens declare the glory of God; And the firmament shows His handiwork. Day unto day utters speech, and night unto night reveals knowledge." Psalm 19:1-2

Locusts

  I've been listening to people's stories a lot lately. The conversations have delved deeply into secret matters of the heart. While I am honoured and humbled because of the trust that has been extended, sometimes it makes for hard listening. Pain, hurt, rejection, abandonment, and far worse has wrapped many of these stories in great sorrow.
  It's not all sad. Gratitude for the gifts that came out of the sad times is freely shared, too.
  There is an unwanted side effect. The sad parts stir the depths of my own wounds, bringing them to the surface. Even though the Lord has done tremendous healing on that front it surprises me every time how much hurt still exists within my soul. Perhaps it is a gift because it has given me the ability to sympathize, to weep with those who weep and to offer the hope of future joy.
  But it also serves as a reminder where I haven't quite forgiven others; that maybe I need to think and pray about where the dark seeds of bitterness are happily entrenched and waiting to grow.
  There are more of them than I care to admit. I pray, Lord, that You will remove them from my being.

  It gets me angry, the hurt people do to each other. But, mostly, it makes me very, very sad.
  Because I know, somewhere, some when, I have caused others pain, too. I have left my own swath of destruction behind me.
  It's never maliciously. It's never done with intent. God forbid! What's worse is it is because of carelessness. Care..less... A thoughtless word, a rebuff, being in a hurry, impatience, fatigue, a poor night's sleep...judgement. There's a plethora of reasons why.
  I am not trying to excuse my actions. I am apologizing for them and laying them at the foot of the Cross so Jesus can heal who I have harmed.

  And I am standing on God's promise with a glint of hope in my eye for all who are hurt, for all who bear the scars of experience:
  "So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust." Joel 2:25

Stewardship

  It would seem that each summer I find some sort of natural delight to focus on. One year it was the wildflowers growing in the Conservation Area across the road. The next, trying to photograph dragonflies. This year, it's the frogs. This one in particular. Smaller ones have come and gone but he has remained in my back yard for several weeks now.

  He made quite the leap to sit on this throne that is in prime location to survey his domain. I was amazed the jump was even possible!

  The best part is he (could be a she) has grown comfortable with my presence and goes about froggy business without a care in the world. This morning I watched him hop across the patio to feast on a couple of tent caterpillars who were unwisely travelling at ground level. 

  I also found out that frogs can live anywhere from four to fourteen years. I suppose that's only if they escape predators.

  Boy, Google can be a wonderful thing. 

  A loud singing tree frog has been in the trees next to my driveway. It just might be the one I photographed on the kitchen window. Curious, I found out they mate all through the summer. The males will sing their inviting song; inviting if you happen to be a frog. Not so melodic if you are a human. The males will only broadcast when they have found a suitable site for the lady to lay her eggs. 

  I am honoured if this is my little pond.

  It is causing me to rethink how I open the pond in the spring. Normally it gets drained, scrubbed and refilled with fresh water because it gets rather disgusting over the course of fall and winter. Perhaps if I figured out some way to prevent leaves from falling into the water, it wouldn't get so bad.

  Here's the thing. I don't know if eggs have been laid in the pond. I don't know if they survive freezing to hatch in the spring. 

  I know reptiles and amphibians are in trouble. Pollution, habitat destruction and invasive plant species have taken their toll. If I can help in some small way by changing how I do something or by doing a little extra like figuring out how to stop leaves from falling into the water, it's well worth the effort. 

  More research is needed.

  In the meantime, I will keep an eye on the pond. Just because a gentleman was singing doesn't mean there was a lady nearby.

  But wouldn't it be the coolest thing if tree frog babies were able to hatch and grow in the safest environment ever!

  "The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it." Genesis 2:15

So It Begins

  The furnace installer arrived this morning. Day one of two. He is doing a lot of the up and downing stairs to haul all the furnace accessories needed into the basement. He will putter away dismantling the old one until I have to leave for work. They will come back Monday to do the final install. He will have help to take the furnace itself into the basement. Which is good. It will give me the weekend to clear away some of the stored wood that is in the way.
  It feels odd to be sitting here, not helping, not doing anything. The fellow isn't exactly young. His weathered face doesn't reveal much about how old he might be. Ha! I forget that I am getting older, too. He may only be five or so years older than me!
  Perspective. It's all about perspective.

  It squashes the tentative plans I'd made to go to Sarnia for a couple of days. My daughter will be visiting her brother with the new baby and I'd hoped to be able to include myself in that. I have seen her twice since she arrived from Down East aka. Nova Scotia. Maybe we will be able to squeeze one more visit in before she leaves when she comes back  into the area.
 
  An old friend from high school came for a visit yesterday. She was also the maid of honour at my wedding. It was nice having her, a nurse, as my birthing coach when my son was born. It's been about five years since I'd seen her last so we had lots to catch up on: news of our now independent children, our folks, trips down memory lane and of course, the weather.
  We also talked about the desires both of us have to reconnect with old friends. Maybe it's because the frantic business of parenthood has vanished and we have the time.

  I just finished reading Mitch Albom's The Five People You Meet in Heaven. It's a story that has a place of honour among the few books I have on the keeper shelf. I've read it many times and every time, it tugs at my heart.
  It's about the people who pass through our lives on this beautiful blue ball. Sometimes we know they are part of the path life takes. Most often we aren't even aware how our lives intersect with others.
 
  "We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love." 2 Corinthians 6:6

Books

  An avid reader, every night sees me winding down with a book. Usually it's a work of fiction but every once in a while, a non-fiction book comes my way that touches the inner fabric of my being. One such book landed in my hands as I perused the local second-hand bookshop a while back.
  The Artisan Soul by Erwin Raphael McManus. I'd never heard of him which isn't surprising. After devouring the newest tales of imaginary people, the last book in the stack-to-read was this one.
  I don't necessarily enjoy reading non-fiction. I struggle getting through encouraging, enlightening, instructive works penned by Christian authors. In fact, I wasn't even aware this book is based on Christian beliefs and scriptures when it was selected from a sagging shelf but the title grabbed me. The price was decent. The book in excellent shape, looking like it had never been opened.
  What I have come to realize is often a book contains a single treasure that the Lord meant for me to read and it isn't necessarily found only in non-fiction either. The Artisan Soul contained such a treasure that left me thinking long and hard. I even folded down the top corner of the page so this gem of an idea would be easy to find again; something I never, ever do.

  "We cannot create without risk."

   Boom!!!

  When I think of architects utilizing new technologies or materials...risk.
  An author submitting their works to a publishing company...risk.
  An inventor approaching the bank for funding...risk.
  A musician broadcasting their latest composition on the internet...risk.
  A painter revealing their art to the public...risk.
  A businesswoman streamlining office procedures...(yes, this is creativity paired with imagination!)...risk.

  Then there is a far greater element to face down. Taking the risk to fly against our own reluctance to share something we've made, or an idea, or a dream.
  And that...takes...Courage.
  Because it is baring our hearts, our passions, our artisan soul to the world of judgement.

  There is One, the Great Creator, who took the greatest risk of all. He unlocked His wonders with a full knowledge of the path humanity would choose to take.

  "Then God said,  "Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us."  Genesis 1:26

Early to Rise

  At least for me. I had a medical appointment at the local hospital for some routine testing. It was short and sweet. In and out in half an hour. If anything shows up, I'll get a call next week. If not, a letter touting a clean bill of health should come within thirty days.
  I am an age when these things are important. The only thing is I don't know any of my birth family health history. Is breast cancer in the family? Heart disease? Diabetes? Do I even want to know? Especially now I have a family doctor who is big on preventative screening, does it matter? That, and I am blessed to live in a country where testing, etc. is possible for everyone regardless of financial constraints.
  Except the parking. It's not free. But that's okay. It does raise funds for the hospital enabling them to upgrade equipment, maintain the building, and helps keep one of the last small, rural hospitals open for business.
  A drop in the bucket.
  Even though health care is a service provided for by our taxes, it's the community that keeps our little hospital open. It's the community that funded the birthing unit which had to be closed for several years due to lack of government money.
  Funds are constantly being raised through volunteer organizations and personal contributions. I believe there are plans for expansion in the works. Which would be a good thing.
  Beside it sits a large, white, three story clapboard building that was once the nurse's residence. It may have been built around 1900. It's old, anyways. Back then, a roof over her head was part of nursing. Single nurses were chaperoned and watched over by a matron who made sure they maintained their dignity and chastity, representing their fine, upstanding position. When a nurse or any woman married, if they were working, they had no choice but to leave their job to tend to the more important matters of hearth and home. (I am so glad the times have changed!)
  Currently the building houses mental health services. Which is a problem. Mostly it's a confidentiality thing. No one goes there unless they have mental health challenges. Anyone who sees a person going in knows that's what they are struggling with. In a small community, that's a big deal. Mostly because there is still a lot of suspicion, discrimination and fear within the population when it comes to matters of the mind.
  Thankfully, the more who share about mental health, the stigma becomes less and less.
   When the hospital expands, the plan is to move these services into the main building. A change that is long overdue.
  Now I am off again to see about my new glasses. I've been wearing them for a while but am not happy. Things are far too blurry.

  "But the Lord said to her, "My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
 

Two Dollar Dillemma

 I've been perusing an online store offering pretty much anything under the sun and came across a large wall sticker, "Music is the prayer the heart sings." For the whopping price of two bucks I ordered it. What better phrase to hang above the piano! Especially one that puts into words what I have tried so hard to articulate.

  It is shipped from China for free so I have wondered how anyone makes any profit. The purchases come via ship so it will be mid-October before it arrives. Maybe that's how. One large shipping container stuffed with two dollar items might allow a few cents profit on each. Pennies mount up.
  I haven't thought much about the social ethics until this morning. It is coming from China after all. Does my $2 purchase involve child labour? Slave labour? Does it fund oppression? The Chinese military? Nukes?
  I don't think I'll be ordering anything else from this site. 2+2+2 from all around the world may be funding an oppressive and cruel regime where human rights violations are the way of life.
  Then the question arises, what is the difference between going online to buy something directly from China when stores on my side of the world are filled with the same merchandise? What's the difference if it all comes from the same place? I guess the only difference is a store in my own country makes some money as well and provides much needed jobs.
  Cheap goods, cheap clothing is a necessity in a country where the cost of living is high, where inflation outpaces wages, where rent can take up to 85% of a paycheck or more in some areas. The explosion of second hand stores is a barometer of the distribution of wealth here in Canada. As is the growing number of people living in homelessness.

  If the same two dollars spent at home means a neighbour keeps a roof over their head, I cannot justify buying something directly from a foreign source. Yet, am I denying a foreign brother or sister a roof over their head? Food?
  What a conundrum!
  I know shopping from the comfort of my own kitchen is the way of the future. Ha! It has already arrived!

  Small, family operated stores are devoured by the big box stores. I've seen a lot of them disappear from the downtown core of Alliston over the last two decades: the men's wear, the shoe store, a small department store, an independent grocery store. Downtown has mostly service providers now, dentists, lawyers and the like. Although, a small bakery recently opened around the corner from work and offers the most amazing butter tarts I've ever had!
  The big box stores will be swallowed by technology. The long lived department store, Sears, died because they didn't embrace the financial potential of online shopping.
  Yes, there are jobs with online companies. Someone has to make things. Someone has to fill the orders. Someone has to ship them. Someone has to deliver them. So maybe, in the end, everything will work out.

  Maybe the Pixar movie, Wall-E, with the single global conglomerate Buy-N-Large is a foreshadowing of the future.

  Things are no clearer than when I started this mini exploration of economics. I confess to being rather ignorant of the subtleties involved. The only thing I am sure of is my $2 has a bigger impact than I ever imagined.

  Lord, teach me to spend wisely. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen!
  "The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever." Isaiah 40:8

 
 

Flea Market

  A quick trip out to the local flea market has me set up wonderfully. All ten fingers are in use this morning. Woohoo! It's surprising how rusty they are. It didn't take much of a decision either. I've purchased a basic workhorse of a laptop. It's pretty much the same as the old one only it's got a camera, blue tooth capabilities and more memory. Do you remember when 64K was supposed to be all we'd ever need?
  I used it to go online yesterday, hooking it into my phone via USB cable but it was frustratingly slow; almost as slow as the old dial up internet. I was not impressed but using a different USB port this morning has made all the difference in the world. It isn't lightening fast, but a few nanoseconds' delay is better than having to go get a coffee while a page was loading.

  It costs a dollar to get into the parking lot at the market. Why is it called a flea market anyways? I don't even think fleas are sold, at least not intentionally! Pretty much everything else is. From knock off perfume, to bedding and jewelry. The sweet aroma of freshly baked goods gets the tummy rumbling and mouth watering but I was good and passed them by. There's clothes for construction type jobs, office jobs, purses, and ladies clothing, too. DVD's, TVs, and booth after booth of farm fresh produce are all part of the offering.
  There's a second massive building dedicated to antiques but it's a buyer beware kind of place because there are lots of reproductions scattered throughout the site. While a lot of the stuff is old, it's old based on Canadian standards and we are a young country when compared to the rest of the world. Still, it's fun to look around if you are in to that kind of thing.
  I was a woman on a mission. That, and I am not overly fond of the crowds so I'd already planned on getting in and getting out as quickly as possible.
  I made a bee line for the Y2K computer booth. It wasn't busy which meant I was helped right away. Next week will likely be much busier as back to school stuff is being frantically amassed.
  The business owner was there to help. He is probably older than me by a decade. A nice looking man with, I think, a European accent, possibly German. I told him what I was looking for. My needs were simple. My tech abilities wanting. He showed me what they had. A deal was done in a matter of minutes.

  And he blatantly flirted with me. Nothing untoward or overtly sexual just, well, flirting. (Smile.)
  I confess I enjoyed it and innocently flirted right back at him, playing the game. It's surprising I remember how because it's been a long, long time since anything like that has happened to me.
  I left there with more than a laptop. I left there feeling feminine and beautiful. It's been a long, long time since I'd felt that way.
  Oh, I know salesmen will flirt to facilitate the deal but this was all harmless fun because a deal had been made before I even went there. It was only a matter of choosing what met my needs. A good company, a reliable product, with help if needed, is all I require in regards to worldly items.
 
  I think, too, the Light of the Lord, a joy from outside this world, still filled me after an amazing time of worship. It was infused through partaking of Communion and polished by prayers for a friend. It must have drawn him like a moth to a flame.
  Jesus is our True Source of beauty.
 

  "As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross, my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world's interest in me has also died. It doesn't matter whether we have been circumcised or not. What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation." Galatians 6:14-15

 
 

Floundering

  It's a tough thing to admit when your boat has lost its rudder.

  A long pause followed that statement.

  So, Sue, maybe you better offer up a prayer. Or better yet, ask your readers to pray for you.
  I am asking.
 
  Firstly, the blog. I miss the excited anticipation that filled the morning as soon as I awoke. Having blathered on for the last several posts then wrapping them up with a Bible verse feels inadequate...Lord, I want this time spent at the keyboard to have meaning and significance.
 But then, who is saying it doesn't? My ego? Self doubt? Is this the devil's foul and twisted way to stop me from writing?
  Why am I writing anyways?
  For companionship. To start my day in the company of the Lord and others. Meaning you, my readers. It also starts my day grounded in faith. And, simply put, I enjoy writing. I will enjoy it more with a new laptop so there is no longer the need to
 tablet type one fingered!
  Tomorrow. A trip to the local flea market for an inexpensive, refurbished, used laptop. The last one lasted over four years.
  Oh. Now I get it...why the blog has felt more like a chore. One letter at a time is SLOW.
  Sometimes things are so simple!
  "How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings." Psalm 36:7
 
 

Treasures

  It has been several days of feeling blessed. Surrounded by family. Holding my newest granddaughter for the first time. A morning bonfire with S'mores for lunch because the nights grew too late for such pleasures...finding a four leaf clover in the middle of several acres of closely mown grass. Oh, and answering questions about why there are so many weeds in my lawn. That was a wonderful opportunity to talk about the environment, and why I am so happy there are frogs in the pond and garden and the rarest sight of all: a tree frog peering in my kitchen window. I hear them all the time but, they are tree dwellers...Yup, living large.

    I tried to get my older grandchildren to play apple hockey by firing the fallen apples strewn over the driveway into a bucket. I think they did one before catching on that they were actually cleaning up the apples for me. So much for pulling a fast one on them.

  Both of them expressed an interest in learning to paint but time got away from us with the days being filled with road trips and other adventures. Those lessons will have to wait until I see them again.

  The house feels empty this morning with no giggles or laughs greeting the day.

  That was the best part of all.

  "And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8

  

  

Sunday Drive

  A family outing/picnic/exploration brought us to Indian Falls near Owen Sound. While the water cascading over the lip wasn't overly spectacular, there are times when the .7 Km trail is closed due to melt water run off. We basically hiked stone strewn, dry creek beds to arrive at our destination. Oh, and a couple of steep, winding pathways. It meant we could access the viewpoint to admire this 15 metre high sheer cliff.
  I am a bit foggy brained this morning so I think I'll stop trying to force the writing.
  "O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water." Psalm 63:1
 

Family

  It's going to be a great weekend. The Sarnia crew are coming up tomorrow to Nanasue's Campground aka. The Back Yard for a few days. It is supposed to be a lovely weekend.
  The fire ban has been lifted thanks to some much needed rain. A few bonfires are on the agenda. I have missed having them. So is watching the Persiud annual meteor shower that will be at its peak early, early Monday morning. Not that I would be up to see it but hopefully there is enough of a fireworks show to enjoy once the sun goes down.
  It rained last night. Once the rope is dry on the Apple tree swing, the seat will have to be raised. The grandkids have grown since the last time they were here.
  The annual Potato Festival is on as well to celebrate the fact that Alliston is potato country. Personally, I would prefer if we were butter tart country like one of the nearby towns. They celebrated butter tarts last month.
  The festival starts with a parade tonight. The main street in town is closed. There are lots of vendors plying their wares. A travelling midway is part of the celebration offering the opportunity to be nauseated by various rides. I am not sure if we will go but it's an option on the things-to-do list. 
  Just having the opportunity to be with family creates its own festival celebration!
  "May the Lord continually bless you from Zion. May you live to see Jersalem prosper as long as you live. May you live to enjoy your grandchildren. May Israel have peace!" Psalm 128:5-6
 

A bit of this and that...

  The furnace installer came out this morning to take some final measurements before ordering the new one. There were grand plans of what would be accomplished this year but life has a way of happening. I figure if I get the bathroom done, it will be enough.
  Yesterday was a quiet day. I spent some time outside frog watching which reminded me of the children's story I started writing last summer about a grounded fairy. My laptop is kaput. The tablet has no place for a USB port. No Word either to continue writing. It has been okay for one fingered blogging but to write for any length of time, well, it would be nice to use all ten.
  Maybe I will print what has been written so far and continue writing the old fashioned way with pen and paper until the laptop is either fixed or replaced.
  I am thinking, too, about the illustrations I would like to paint. Hence the frog watching. And photos. I will need them for reference.
  It has been a while since I picked up a brush. There was a lovely breeze blowing through the yard so I cleaned up the patio table and hauled out the watercolours.

   This is Canisbay Lake in Algonquin just after the sun had set. I didn't end up doing any painting while there but thanks to photo reference, I was able to return in spirit. I can almost hear the miserable, high pitched whine of the mosquitoes looking for dinner!
  It helped me think about how to approach the upcoming watercolour class I will be teaching at work. A good introduction will be to work with monochromatic colour washes. There has been some success having everyone work on an identical image. It's a good way to learn. Lessons in mixing colour can be gradually introduced.
  Every once in a while, a clear path comes into view.
  Lord, thank You for all these gifts: the writing, the art, the music. Thank You for imagination. Thank You for the gift of teaching so my skills become a blessing to others. Bless those I teach with understanding and excitement about their own creativity. Amen!
  "Your road led through the sea, your pathway through the mighty waters--a pathway no one knew was there!" Psalm 77:19
 
 
 
 

Could be Controversial

  My Bible fell open to the Book of Proverbs written by King Solomon, son of David. Flipping through the pages, I was struck by the thought that they are written by a king. Bear with me as I think about this.
  I have read them before but this time it struck me that a lot of these wise sayings are actually rather harsh and judgemental. The poor are maligned as lazy and evil yet Solomon states the Lord is their defender against exploitation. Women are either wise or seductresses. Slaves are slaves and regarded as belongings. (21st Century morals?)
  Several of the Proverbs speak of God detesting double standards.
  It is all good because it is forcing me to examine my heart. Where does prejudice colour my attitudes? Where does condemnation rear its ugly head? Pride? Am I reading these lessons through the heart of Jesus?

    The Bible I have highlights Old Testament references made by Jesus as He taught His disciples and followers. It has helped to realize that Solomon was governed by the laws given to Moses. It would be appropriate for him to put those laws into clear, practical, life lessons for his son.
  And a rather funny, if irreverent, thought occurred...Solomon was the Dr. Oz of his day. Which points out a very human attribute: we love to be taught how to live. Although, if memory serves, someone did an experiment and tried to live utilizing all the diet and fitness advice Dr. Oz  provided over the course of a year. They discovered it was often contradictory. They discovered it was impossible to encorporate everything in the course of a day. It got very complicated and all consuming. (Nothing under the sun is truly new says King Solomon.)

  Then Solomon wrote Ecclesiastes, a despairing, heart wrenching exploration of the human condition. His proud words of Proverbs were washed in compassion.

  Thank You, Lord God, that the Bible contains so many stories of Your redemption.

  A long while passed as the foundation unfolded for His Grace, Jesus, to walk among us.
  Jesus brought life and a beating heart to the rules of His forefathers. He infused them with the Spirit of God. He made it possible for us to live through His great love, the Love that released us from bondage.
  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take." Proverbs 3:5-6

Sanctuary

 The small, ornamental pond was put in my back yard for purely selfish reasons. The tiny waterfall creates an ambiance of peace and tranquility. I never could have imagined the impact it has had.
  It's been terribly dry and hot. The thermometer has already run out of numbers again.
  There is an elderly, ornamental crab apple tree which casts a huge shadow over patio and pond. Yesterday, I pulled up a chair and sat listening to the water. A warm breeze ruffled my hair. Even in the shade it was uncomfortable .
  Much to my delight, I discovered this frog sharing the shade by the pond. He wasn't alone. There were four more taking advantage of the tiny, watery oasis.

    These mosquito munching visitors are most welcome!

 Several things amaze me. How far they are from the river. A hundred miles if measured in frog feet. How did they find the pond in all the obstacles of lawn, flower beds, fences and houses? Do they smell water? Or was it the sound of the waterfall that broadcast an invitation? Do they travel at night, seeking pockets of dew laden greenery to keep them moist? 

  The big question is: why did they leave the river in the first place?

  Maybe they were looking for somewhere safe. Birds that eat frogs can't see the pond from the air. Only songbirds pop in for a bath and a drink.

  Sanctuary. An Eden on a miniature scale.

  I wonder if the largest frog is the same one from last summer. How long do they live anyways?

  It would appear grade school studies on frogs missed a lot. All I remember is the egg to tadpole to frog cycle. Which is pretty amazing all on its own.

  Lord, thank You for this blessing. Thank You for all the amazing creatures You created...even mosquitoes. Amen.

  "So God created great sea creatures and every living thing that scurried and swarms in the water, and every sort of bird--each producing offspring of the same kind. And God saw that it was good." Genesis 1:21

Strong

   In a short blurb on Facebook yesterday, I shared this thought.

  "I have to say something about this because it appears on FB all the time.
So often women are told to be strong like there is going to be a medal for valor when it's all over.
  Maybe strong means reaching out. Maybe strong means escaping your abuser. Maybe strong means talking about what happened while finding your way in a new life. Maybe strong means leaning on friends for a while.
  So often strong means suffering in silence.
  So often strong implies accepting what's happening even when it's wrong.
  So often strong means being alone.
  Just sayin' because being strong forged the strongest bars of a prison I thought I had no right to walk away from.
  By being strong there is no room for bravery."

  When being strong finally failed, when the iron bars in my prison rusted and shattered, I was left with shame. Shame that I wasn't strong enough to keep it together. Shame that I wasn't strong enough to vanquish the depression and anxiety that swept in like a river.
   When I could no longer work or provide for myself without help, being told to be strong was like pouring acid on an open wound. I had no more "strong" left. The battle against my own cultural prejudices about "weakness" raged with the howling fury of a hurricane.
  Yet, in those dark times, I discovered far better things. Determination. Resiliency. Friendships. The life giving sustenance of a hug when I wasn't strong enough to hold back the tears.
  I discovered the value of vulnerability tucked away in a blanket of hope. But then, it was hope that allowed me to be vulnerable.
  I discovered that none of these things are weaknesses; that community is the foundation of success in overcoming all obstacles. Not strength.
  I discovered faith.
  Jesus taught me to let go of the need to be strong.
  There are still days I struggle against this new person living inside, the one with the ability to ask for help but, praise God, it gets easier with practice.
  "Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Mathew 12:28-29

Island Lake, Orangeville, Ontario

  In the middle of a growing urban sprawl, beside a pre-fab concrete company and beside one of the busiest thoroughfares to Ontario's cottage country lies this blue gem. It struck me as I put the kayak in the water that even our landscapes are multi-cultural! I am thankful conservation areas like this are such an integral part of this country.

  I am always safety conscious. Boating alone isn't the wisest. After I paid the small admission fee, the woman who guarded the gate informed me it was a busy day, that there were lots of people taking advantage of the oasis. She also said they had staff available should a boater get in trouble. All I had to do was call them on my cell phone. She gave me a map and directed me to the areas where it was most likely to see wildlife.

  I was lucky enough to get a parking spot right beside the ideal shallow sandy slope for kayak launching and for disembarking. So, with emergency safety kit stowed, life jacket zipped, cell phone and car keys sealed in an inflated bag, off I went.

  I now understand the sailing term "crabbing". Unless my kayak is nose to the wind, she has a habit of skewing sideways. I wonder if a cover over the seating area would help...the boat acts like a wind scoop that twists the nose sideways. It gets a bit frustrating trying to paddle in a straight line.

  Beneath the water's surface are cut down trees. They must have been cut before the area was flooded by the installation of the two dams built to form the reservoir. The stumps and submerged logs are like reefs in the ocean, havens for small fish to hide in and around. Most of the trees are deep enough they don't pose a hazard but in a few places they were closer to the surface. It wouldn't be a place to take a speed boat. 

  I cut across the skinny part of the lake to the north shore then headed east. Cattails and trees line the shore. A fallen log with its nose submerged was the perfect sunning spot for a pair of painted turtles. 

  A Green Heron flew past. I've only ever seen one other over ten years ago. They are much smaller than their Great Blue counterparts. What a blessing!

  As I paddled further east, there were ducks and Canada geese preening themselves on the shore of the large island. Heading under the bridge, I came around the pair of islands only to see a pair of Loons. I was amazed to see these normally shy birds smack in the middle of a busy, noisy environment. They didn't appear to have any chicks with them which had me wondering why. Did they fall victim to one of the pike in the lake? A hawk? The heat? I will never know. Hopefully next year will bring success.

 The wind picked up as I headed west, back to the launch site. Coming around the point was tough paddling for tired arms! 

  I managed to disembark with relative ease. The sideways beaching makes all the difference!

  I am glad I went because it was wonderful to be on the water under an open, albeit cloudy sky. 

  Thank You Lord that there are people dedicated to preserving wildlife habitat. Thank You for granting me the means and determination to get out there and enjoy these sanctuaries. I feel much better for it.

  "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." Proverbs 4:23

Annual Delight

  I saw a Hummingbird moth at the Bee Balm this morning. It's the first this season. There needs to be more Bee Balm in the garden. Not only for the moth but the bees and actual hummingbirds love its sweet nectar.  Although putting in another flower bed when the ones already gracing the yard do such a great job of growing weeds...adding more work doesn't fly.
  I am feeling rather down this morning, for a few days now. I can't pinpoint anything specific or even know why. It is just how I am feeling. Maybe my holiday wasn't long enough. Or maybe that's why. Being in the woods, surrounded by trees and quiet makes coming back to civilization difficult.
  The world is a noisy, busy place. The rush of traffic, cars and trucks are filled with rushing people. The stores are filled with people on missions to hurry up and buy what they need only to hurry on to the next task.
  I have been busy, too. Following up on the various tests the Doc requested to make sure everything is working like it should. I went and had my eyes tested as well. My glasses have a crack in the lens that has slowly been growing. They ought to have been replaced a while ago. So far, it's all good.
  I think I will toss the kayak in the car and head down to a nearby lake. It is bound to be busy on the weekend and I am working tomorrow. The gardens can wait another day.
  Lord, please lift this unwanted, joy devouring mood. In Jesus's name I pray, amen.
  "God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for Him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs." Mathew 5:3
 

Composing

  Sitting at the piano trying to capture the essence of Algonquin Park in music, in wordless poetry, has been my entertainment of an evening. No. It is far more than entertainment. It is a calling, a hunger, that fills my soul to sit and explore melody and harmony, minor and major, flickering arpeggios. Solemn bass notes throb as darting high notes flash in and out like rain.
  Sometimes I get carried away and play for the sheer delight of playing. The music unfolds like a river for five, ten, fifteen minutes...an hour. Then it is gone. Uncaptured by pencil and staff paper. I rarely get it back. That's okay, though, those unwritten moments belong to God. The music becomes a prayer of gratitude and humble amazement for the gift He has infused my soul with.
  After all, He unlocked it through His Son.
  I have learned to be patient. If all that ends up actually being written is a couple of bars, so be it. Pushing the release of the song in my heart doesn't work.
  But what joy when the notes flow! What joy when the Lord grants me the rhythm and texture to celebrate and give thanks for His wonderful creation we call Earth.
  "Give thanks to the God of heaven. His faithful love endures forever." Psalm 136:26