Back It Up by Susan L.

  In carrying my crock pot upstairs at church yesterday, I strained my back. It's so frustrating that such a light object could cause such injury. No matter what position I'm in, it merrily spasms away from my lower back down through my legs.
  The irony in all of this is lunch wasn't pot luck. I'd gone through all the church emails but couldn't find out what was happening. Instead, pizza was brought in. Since I'd skipped the Christmas pot luck party the night before, I decided to leave them for anyone who wanted them. They went over well and gave those who had gluten sensitivities something to eat for lunch. Was it a mix up? Was it meant to be? Or maybe it was the Lord redeeming my mistake.
  He does that frequently.
  After church, a friend came over. We went for a long, leisurely stroll in the park. It helped my back.
  I am blessed by this new friendship far more than because it's walking company. Our conversations range far and deep as we get to know one another and as we share our faith.
  Answered prayers.
  For that I am most thankful. God knows how hard it is for me to develop relationships. Time and again, He has brought someone into my life when I need it the most. Yet, at the same time, it validates my own worth because I can be of some small service for them as well.
  It's hard being vulnerable. Yet an honest relationship cannot be forged otherwise.
  Right now, as the Lord is walking me through another layer of healing grief, I am vulnerable. For the first time, I am okay with that. It's where I need to be.
  I confess it has taken me several weeks to reach this point. Up until now, I'd been running, distracting myself from facing and embracing where the Lord was leading me.
  Keeping the lid on the box, hiding, denying, is exhausting. Exhausted is good. It means there's no choice but to lean on the Lord and trust in His process, His way, His love.
  "I called on Your name, O Lord, from the lowest pit. You have heard my voice: "Do not hide Your ear from my sighing, from my cry for help." You drew near on the day I called on You, and said, "Do not fear!" Lam 3:55-57