At last!!

  “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemies!’ But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” Mathew 5:43-44

  This has been the most challenging of Jesus’ teachings to get a handle on but it is slowly making sense. Trying to figure out what loving an enemy looks like has taken a great deal of thought because, to be honest, I didn't think I could.  I have wrestled with believing love was only found in a relationship until I finally realized we can love without one.

  Jesus doesn’t command that we be friends. He doesn’t say to keep them close. He doesn’t say welcome them into our home.

  He asks that we forgive them. This is an act of love for our enemies (and for God as well.) Sometimes it’s easy. Sometimes, not so much. Sometimes it takes a while. Sometimes we can’t do it on our own but we are not on our own.  We have Jesus to show us how once we make the choice to forgive. It is a choice because God has given us free will.

  I had thought that forgiveness in action meant being in a relationship with those who have hurt me enough to warrant forgiveness in the first place. I thought that being able to have a relationship with them was a barometer of just how much they had been forgiven.

  But I don’t think God tests us that way.  Or maybe He does but I think not all of us are called to take this step. Maybe, down the road, this will happen to me but for now to forgive is enough. I am going to have to trust Him on this.

  My friend, H, shared a teaching from Richard Rhor. He says the way to “love” my enemy is to desire justice for them. This is completely different than seeking justice. Seeking justice comes from the idea of having revenge. Wanting justice for them means leaving it up to God as to how He deals with my enemy. It’s an easy prayer.

  “Lord, give them the good things they deserve and deal with the negative stuff according to Your wisdom.” Justice might contain mercy or chastisement.

  Smile. I’ve been on the receiving end of both. Love means admitting my enemy deserves good things because they are God’s creations…I have to admit that’s a challenge at times.

  The Lord just blessed me with a light bulb moment…Wanting good things for them is a figurative way of turning the other cheek!

  Loving my enemy means being able to acknowledge they are as broken as I am. Loving my enemy means admitting God loves them as much as me.

  Loving my enemy means extending grace…there’s that cheek again. Grace is an offspring of love.

  There are countless people who have come and gone in my life. I have been the enemy. I have persecuted others for their faith, their skin colour, their weight, their gender...and much, much more. I have caused hurt. I have been cruel.

  God has forgiven me for these things. I can only pray those I have harmed will be able to as well, that God will heal them of the wounds I inflicted.

  It doesn’t mean I need to be invited over for a cup of coffee.

  Thank You, Lord, for this humbling reminder and for leading me into understanding. Let me learn how to put the idea of loving my enemy into tangible actions. In Jesus’ name I pray. AMEN!

Triple T #4378

“You have heard the law that says, “Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.” But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” Mathew 5:43-44

  Of all the commands of Jesus, I find this one the hardest to live up to. I don’t do very well at loving people who have broken my trust or hurt me. I have to wonder if this is because of my history, of the time when I have allowed people to hurt me again and again because I thought this was the price of being loved. (Boy, it makes me sad to realize I thought that way for such a long time.)

  I do know better now but I think there are some residual misunderstandings that need deconstructing, or a time of thinking things through (Triple T.)

  Hmmm, I just realized Jesus doesn’t insist we remain in relationship with those who have hurt us. He only commands us to pray for them.

  I can do that…I think.

  So here’s the challenge in this: to think about what caused the hurt in the first place. I know a main reason. Most often hurts happen because, in some form or another, they devalue me as a person. Or maybe I am extremely sensitive to such things, having such a new and fragile sense of worth. I go all Momma Bear when something happens to rock that belief because it was a long, hard battle to believe this truth in the first place! That is, if I can react at all in the moment. Mostly I end up stunned and need time to process what happened.

  Can I pray for a day my reaction is rooted in that same sense of worth? A day when I am able to retaliate with prayer instead of condemnation and anger? And, yes, fear.

  The boogie man in my closet is being afraid of losing my grasp on the truth. It was hidden from me for such a long time. Lord, I am angry about this. There’s grief, too, that has yet to be processed. The anger is just one facet of that.

  The boogie man is the enemy of my soul who would be very happy for me to turn away from the truth. Some of his weapons are humiliation, neglect, disregard, callousness, doubt and shame. In the past they have succeeded in crushing my spirit. Nothing he does is new. He can only repeat what he did when his efforts succeeded. But that was then, this is now and I am a new creation in Christ. Each and every day, I am new again!

   I do have to ask how the enemy manages to turn a sense of worth into one of questioning if this is prideful or not!

  Sigh. These are big thoughts.

  I need to clarify something so bear with me…A sense of worth, a gift of God, has its foundation in humility; a humility that is entrenched in the acknowledgement that without God I am nothing. Without His gift of value, I would not be able to pray for my enemy. I would not be able to see the value in others. (This is a work in progress.)

  Smile. I want to do better. It takes practice to walk in the confident belief that what God shows me is right and true. It takes practice for new behaviours, new ideas, to replace the old. So let’s leave room for grace to work in and through this season of learning and unlearning.

  And, Lord, forgive me for hurting others because I do although it is never my intention.

  Lord, there is so much to be thankful for. AMEN!

Deconstructing A Slap

  “If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.” Jesus says in Mathew 5:39

  I have to thank my friend H for sharing a teaching from the Institute of Catholic Culture about this passage. It finally clarified what this means!

  This also fits in with my own church’s teaching about Doubt, Deconstruction, and Jesus. I am going to try and deconstruct my literal understanding about this passage and replace it with a metaphorical one. It makes sense.  Jesus uses metaphors all the time in His teaching. 

  To start with, all that comes to mind is two armored knights facing each other. One removes his gauntlet and slaps the other across the face. It’s a scene many a comedy has made fun of. What happens next is where these knights have drifted away from the teachings of Jesus.

  They end up battling each other because a slap across the face is a direct assault on the other’s honour. It is by no means a killing blow, but an insulting one. Insult is met by insult.

  I think the same tableau can find itself re-enacted throughout time. In the 1600-1700’s the slap of a cotton glove becomes a challenge to duel with pistols at ten yards. At least one person will die, if not both, in this personal battle to protect a puffed up, pride filled understanding of honour.

  Then there are the ladies who slap their suitors across the face when their honour is compromised by unwanted advances. Again, insult is met by insult.

  Somewhere along the line the idea of honour became synonymous with pride.

  Pride is not honour.

  What?

  Pride is self serving. Honour serves others.

  Honour is the gift of worth, of value, of esteem. Honour is humility in action.

  Then there is the idea of offense. It is only received when it is taken.

   Hmmm, it appears I need to turn the other cheek more often because being offended hampers the ability to forgive. Forgiveness is love in action.

  Besides, the left cheek is closer to the heart!

  

  One more thought about the history of cheek slapping. A slap was resolved by killing. While the days of legal duels to the death have gone, I am suddenly faced with the idea of mental murder, wished on my enemies; enemies who are simply enemies because they have offended me. May God have mercy on me.

  PS.I also want to thank my readers for their prayers. The torn muscle in my back is greatly improved. The soreness has resolved into a dull ache instead of the painful, breath stealing spasms. I am glad it’s aching though because it will remind me to be careful over the next little.

  God bless your day! AMEN!

Keep Seeking, Knocking

  “That Sunday evening, the disciples were meeting behind locked doors because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders. Suddenly Jesus was standing there among them.” John 20:19

  This is a quote from the notes handed out yesterday,

  Faith is not a blind leap into the pond, rather, a long walk around the lake.

  This is going to be a short post. I have wrenched the big muscle that runs around the back of the rib cage. I have no idea how but it makes sitting and typing an exercise of agony. Please pray for a quick healing because this muscle is used for everything!

  It will give me plenty of time to ponder on the importance of doubt to a healthy faith.

How?

 “Because of the miraculous signs Jesus did in Jerusalem at the Passover celebration, many began to trust in him. But Jesus didn’t trust them, because he knew all about people. No one needed to tell him about human nature, for he knew what was in each person’s heart.” John 2:23-25

  I have to give thanks for being led to this passage this morning. There is a question, a concern, which has plagued me since I became a follower of Jesus. I’ve wrestled with how forgiveness is manifested when it comes to loving my enemies. I’ve forgiven them but made the choice to exclude them from my life whenever possible.

  They are not trustworthy. (Is this a judgement or is it discernment? Or neither, when history has proven this time and again?)

  But how does this work itself out when Jesus has commanded us to love our enemies, to turn the other cheek? Does this not imply having some sort of relationship with them?

  Jesus allowed Judas to travel with Him, learn from Him even though He knew Judas would betray Him.

  Why did Judas stay with Him in the first place?

  I know there was a great deal of status in being a Rabbi’s disciple. It was a pathway to wealth, power, and leadership. Was it Jesus’ teaching about living humbly and modestly that caused him to turn away? Even though he had seen Jesus work God’s miracles he was a man enthralled by money! The thirty pieces of silver he was paid to betray Jesus was a hefty chunk of change.

  In the end, though, the silver wasn’t enough once Judas realized what the Pharisees had planned all along: to kill the Man he loved.

  I suppose I am at a great disadvantage here simply because I do not know what lay in someone else’s heart.

  Yet, God placed Judas in the hands of Jesus because Judas had a role to play in order to fulfill the Scriptures about the Messiah: that He would be born of Man, live, die and ascend to Heaven. In fact, Jesus released Judas to do what he needed to do in order for this to happen.

  Another passage comes to mind. I’m not sure where it is but it is cautionary. We are not to cast our pearls before swine.

  And I grow frustrated and no further ahead than when I started. Maybe this isn’t something I can work out on my own even though I have the Spirit to guide me. Perhaps my swirling, convoluted emotions about the people involved are hampering my understanding. (Smile.)Yes, they are!

  Lord, I lift this up to You. Grant me clarity. Lead me into truth. Make me open to hearing an answer I may not like.  In Jesus’ name I pray. AMEN!

Tough Questions, No Easy Answers

  “God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:17

  During a conversation about my faith yesterday, a question was posed. It’s one I hadn’t thought about before but definitely needs to be explored.

  To paraphrase the question my psychiatrist asked me, “As a person of faith, what do you think about Canada’s legal rights to medically assisted suicide (MAID)?”  This good doctor primarily serves oncology patients.

  I was rather taken aback. As I said, it isn’t a topic that had ever fallen under my radar. My doctor shared his point that MAID is not for someone living with depression who may be feeling suicidal. It isn’t that easy to obtain. MAID is for someone who is dying from a chronic, incurable, pain filled illness such as end stage cancer where there is no hope of life or recovery.

  So, let me think about this…

  But what if the person seeking MAID is a Christian? Is there a difference?

  This bears some thought. Is dying by suicide an unforgivable sin? Many say it is.

  I am not sure.

  Death by suicide is an act of desperation and utter, soul emptying loneliness. Even people who follow Jesus can reach this point which is why it is so important for us to remain in a community. We need to surround ourselves with fellow believers with whom we can be vulnerable and honest; believers who do not judge or condemn but who encourage and support us when times are tough. That’s crucial to riding out the swirling tempest when the Black River runs high. God, forgive us for when we fail each other.

  The choice for suicide, apart from MAID, is sad, though, because the person who makes the decision to end their life believes there is no other option. It is a place where hope does not dwell. Is losing hope a sin? This is why I question whether or not suicide is an unforgivable sin.

  I wish, I pray, those of us who follow Jesus would not be so hard on each other.

  We are good at heaping guilt and shame on those who may be entertaining these sorts of thoughts. I have even been on the receiving end when things were at their darkest and suicidal ideation was my constant companion. (Lord, let me remember this so I can be kinder to those who are struggling.)

  So. Education. For a long while, unknown to me, these thoughts were a side effect of the medication I was taking. (I wish the doctors would warn us about this.) Guilt, shame, blaming myself and fear partnered up to compound the problem. Prayer, music, art, nothing was able to rid my mind of the most horrible thoughts until there was a change in meds! It wasn’t my fault, my lack of faith, after all.

 

  But I digress.

  Yes, I believe God can do miracles. There are countless stories of instant healing but just as many stories where there was none. I have heard of people dying from cancer who had no pain at all. But I also saw my devout grandmother die a most painful death because of it. I believe she was at peace, though, because she knew where she was going. It happened when I was very young. Others have found comfort in the presence of angels who guard their death bed.

  There is much in this world that is unseen. There is much I do not understand but our God is a merciful God. Medically assisted suicide is mercy in action is it not? Or is it murder? Is it murder when someone asks for their life to end? (Tough question.)

  Is the choice for MAID made because we, as followers of Jesus, have missed the boat when it comes to comforting the dying whether they believe in Jesus or not? How do the living comfort the dying?

  I heard a story once about a group of Christians protesting outside of a place that offered abortions. One of the young women who was about to enter asked if any of them would adopt her baby if she chose to carry it to term; if any of them would provide for her during her pregnancy or should she decide to keep the baby. There were no takers. Lord, help me find mercy and grace for these believers.

 

 So here it is. All I know is that, for me personally, MAID is not an option should my end be one of pain and suffering. (Lord, I pray it isn’t so.) I also realize I cannot make the decision for someone else. That is between them and God.

  Do I condemn the doctors who act out of the legal authority granted by the MAID laws? Do I condemn the government that made these laws? I cannot do that either. This, too, is between them and God. Or if they don't believe in God, their conscience.

  Here’s something else I need to think about. Is denying someone the right to choose MAID a selfish act? Is it based on self-righteousness? Religiosity? Judgment? How does denying access to MAID manifest itself as an act of love when it condemns someone to live their final months, weeks, days, in agony? (Whew! That's another tough question.)

  The more I think about this, the more questions have arisen. I don't think there are any clear answers.
  God gave us free will and the ability to choose our path. My path is very different from someone else’s. God does not demand conformity from His children. Conformity leaves no room for relationship or seeking or questions or even doubt. 

   Oh! Now I understand how the abortion story fits...The demand for forced conformity to a set of beliefs not held by others is the complete antithesis to how God loves. A love that is shown to us through the teachings, the life and the death of Jesus. 

  I also know if I end up going the wrong way, He will forgive me. AMEN!

God's Provision part 2

    “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and He will give you everything you need.” Luke 12:31

  It feels like a lifetime since I’ve sat and done a post. The last couple of days have been filled with a great deal of travelling, the pleasure of the symphony, and shopping in order to make choices about what I want the kitchen and bath to look like.

  Several months ago I spent a few hours in one of the big box hardware stores, snapping pictures of what I liked. These ideas have percolated in the back of my mind since then. Yesterday’s shopping trip saw things come into focus. For the most part, I have a clear idea of what I want except for some finishing details like tile choices.

  It’s all good. I can’t wait to see this vision come together even though it is several months away. Folks, bear with me as I use this forum to brainstorm on occasion.

 

  Meanwhile, life goes on.

  And there is much to be thankful for.

  My friend H, who came with me yesterday, was a tremendous help in navigating unfamiliar areas and unfamiliar stores. Nowhere near what was accomplished would have been possible had I been on my own. I would have been completely overwhelmed.

  Google Maps and the GPS lady were a huge help in finding another store neither of us had been to.

  Time spent on busy highways was blessed with a safe drive.

  The car didn’t break down but I noticed one of my headlights is out; a quick fix that can be seen to later today.

  The shopping trip I thought was necessary for today happened yesterday so the day is free. I will be rested up enough to go to home church tonight. There is also time to watch the teaching I missed Sunday because of the symphony.

  Sunday’s landscapes were beautiful beyond imagining. The previous night’s snow had melted but with the cold, arctic air blasting through, the melt water was turned to ice. Every tree, every branch, shimmered in the light of a setting sun.

  This list of things to be thankful for could go on forever.

  But most of all, I am thankful for God’s provision so that I can travel and shop and improve my home. I am thankful that Jesus made this possible. AMEN!