I will follow You!

   "O Lord of Heaven's Armies, what joy for those who trust in You." Psalm 84:12

  It's a gray, rainy day, the first in a long time and much needed. I am thankful because this ole body is very tired and sore from all the hard slogging over the last three days. I'm not even sitting at the kitchen table but in the living room, with classical music playing in the background and my body hugged by a comfy recliner. 

  I'm thankful for the rain and the inevitable mosquitoes because it means working outside would be very unpleasant. There's much to do in the gardens but God provided the means to rest without feeling the guilt or pressure of waiting to-do's. Who am I to say, "No," to a blessing!

  We got a lot accomplished at work. Many boxes are unpacked. There is some delay in getting everything finished because we are waiting for replacement furniture. That's not coming until Tuesday. Hopefully by then, my back will feel much better.

  It will take time, that's all, until the last picture is hung on the wall. 

  Our boss treated us with a pizza lunch. Despite the diet, I politely had a couple of slices but left the thick crust on my plate. I can't believe how awful it tasted! Salty for sure but it also had a chemical aftertaste. So did a small slice of made-from-a-mix brownie. It's safe to assume it's from artificial flavours and preservatives added to the meat, sauce, pizza dough and mix. I'll not be straying off diet again any time soon.

  We were warned this would happen, how our taste buds would change after eating whole, freshly made foods for an extended period of time. Knowing this, it will make it easier to turn down fast, premade meals or treats. 

  My weight was up a fraction this morning but since my body is in pain and muscles need healing, it's focusing on that, not fat purging. We were warned about this, too. It has nothing to do with eating pizza. I must give it plenty of water today to help things along.

  The best part of Gina's program is gaining so much knowledge about how weight loss and our body works. 

  The hardest part for me is goal setting. For anyone who has been following along, you know it's an area I struggle with in life. Maybe it's time to address aka. pray about why this is...

  Lord, I pray You will bring be a fresh understanding about why goal setting is so hard. Glory be to Jesus. AMEN!

  Logically, there should be no reason why I can't. It's not a complicated process. It's merely making a decision about what I'm aiming to accomplish and allowing appropriate time for this to happen.

  Emotionally...yup...there's the issue.

  (Smile.) The first part of this post is actually a testimony to goals set and accomplished for work and my diet! What's so hard when it comes to personal goals? Why do these stir up a boatload of fear?

  Part of this is changing a lifestyle that's been lived reactively to one that is lived proactively. It might be hard, but with God's help, not impossible.

  Oh...personal goal setting issues...that was awfully quick, my Lord, but hey, I did ask didn't I? 

  "What I want is of no consequence, irrelevant, and unworthy of any consideration."

  "My goals are wrong, unsuitable, not what others want/demand from me."

  That last bit is at the root of everything.

  It needs digging up and pulling out. Weeds like this don't belong because they are not of God.

  They started growing in childhood, were carefully tended for and fertilized throughout my marriage as a means of maintaining control. And controlled I was.

  But God set me free from that life. I just need His help to shake off the ghosts.

  Since He gave me answers so quickly, I trust Him to help me shake off the behaviours that continue to feed the lie. I can make my needs and personal goals known, defend them if I have to, but stop allowing others to override what I feel is best for my life. My Lord's input is always welcomed!.

  (Smile.) And I end with a goal. How's that for awesome!