"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you: I have summoned you by name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:1-2
This verse, in this season of my life, has touched every part of my innermost being. It's why it deserves a repeat. I am comforted, encouraged and so grateful for God's Word.
I know I only posted last night, but this marvelous brain was full of thoughts this morning because on Tuesday Gina had a guest speaker, a psychologist. She was there to stir our minds into digging deep into the past especially when it's related to our misconceptions and attitudes around food.
She shared that she often asks her clients to draw a river representing their life as a way of gaining a fresh perspective around why they are where they are today. My artist soul leapt at the idea because it tied in so well to everything I write here with God and the Black River.
Because this is a food program, the focus was on drawing a river to represent past dieting. I know there are many people in the group who have been yo-yo dieting for years. It's not something I've done intentionally but there have been times I was much thinner due to the type of job I worked. Not working wasn't kind to my waistline.
Instead, I got thinking about the image of a river in regards to my life's story.
For the most part, it hasn't been a lazy meandering kind of river. There are lots of rapids formed by surrounding steep cliffs. It's a wonderful metaphor for the sexual, mental and physical abuse that was so much a part of my life's story.
There's been times the river has poured over steep cliffs, adorned with rainbows formed by the mist of water being swallowed by the air. It earmarks those seasons of helplessness, of feeling trapped, of insanity. Yes, I have lost my mind. I've tried to remember what happened during those darkest days but only snippets of memory ever make themselves known. It took me a long time to make peace with this.
This life river even ventured underground during those times I lost hope and merely marked the day's passing into night with nothing but dread for the tomorrow and the tomorrow after that. It spent a lot of time underground in my years apart from God. And yes, there have been times since then only it's different because I knew Jesus knew the way out from underground. I only needed to follow where He led. Sometimes the way out is found even deeper underground.
The river had its places where it broke into shallow streams which slowly wrapped their way around the desert sands that formed them. There's sense of aimless, vapid, lifelessness here; of being subjected to dark forces I had no control over.
What does Forest Gump say? "That's all I have to say about that."
Because that was then, this is now. And as I thought about all this before sitting down to write, a clear image of a majestic Roman aqueduct leapt into my mind; one whose arches have and have always had the strength to bear the weight of my river. God's hand is a marvel of engineering!
A river is a powerful thing, too. It has the force to change the shape of the world. Fed by life giving rains, nothing will stand in its way. Cliffs will crumble, underground will become the surface, and lifeless sand is utterly helpless before it. Green things will eventually grow where water touches the desert.
I like the unbelievably clear river my life is right now. It feels like I've waited my whole life to find this place. I give thanks, my Lord, for all of it: the cliffs, the caves, and the desert because my river's journey has finally brought me to where I belong. AMEN!
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