Pep Talk

  “Then he said to me, “Speak a prophetic message to these bones and say, ‘Dry bones, listen to the word of the Lord!’” Ezekiel 37:4

  I admit to feeling rather depressed yesterday. It took a huge effort to even accomplish the smallest things around the house although I did sort through a couple of the kitchen cabinets. It happens. I’ve also been feeling overwhelmed by everything and anxious. The increased anxiety could simply be because of the med reduction but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. All I can hope for is that my system will gradually get used to the lower dose and balance itself out. So, Lord, can You make this adjustment happen sooner rather than later? Please, please, please!

  It stinks, being like this especially when there is no apparent reason. It sucks the joy out of planning for what the house will look like when it is done. Heck, anxiety sucks the joy out of life all together leaving dry bones in its wake.

  Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself this morning. Or maybe it’s more than that. There’s frustration, too, and a sense of powerlessness, helplessness before such a foe. It’s exhausting. It impacts my sleep which leaves me even more tired and more susceptible to being anxious.

  So, the reality is: I live with an anxiety disorder. The part of my body that regulates adrenaline is broken. Perhaps I should cut myself some slack.

  Anxiety isn’t always a bad thing either. It’s a catalyst that can guide me into making healthy choices and healthy changes in how I live. That is if I can shake off the paralysis that is such a part of being overwhelmed by it. And I do. Or I would never leave the house. I wouldn’t have been able to clear out two cupboards yesterday.

  So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I can be grateful that something got checked off the to-do list in spite of how I was feeling. I can be thankful the Lord gave me the strength to overcome the inner storm for a while.

  I have also just realized the anxiety is one of the things that hampers me from asking for help. When the hard days roll in, when something as simple as getting out of bed takes such a huge physical toll, I simply don't have the energy to reach outside myself. This is one thing I can change but for now, all I can do is give myself a shake and keep on moving forward. Today is a new day with its own challenges. Yesterday is done. 

  I will take a lesson from Ezekiel and speak a prophetic word over the day: “This is going to be a good day!” AMEN!