Recent circumstances have led me to solidify my faith, what I believe in and to examine my world view. I spent all of yesterday writing. Journaling is probably more of an apt description. Much of it ended up being prayer. While putting thoughts down honestly and candidly, without censorship, much became crystal clear. The good and the bad.
It was a good exercise and one that will probably continue because it's like building a stone foundation. With Christ as my cornerstone of course! If I only have a vague idea where I stand on important issues it is easy to fall into the old patterns of doing anything to simply get along with others. Being silent is not the same as agreeing. It's not healthy. Floundering about doing nothing but agreeing with everyone is so incredibly detrimental to my own well being.
I needed to know what I believe. With that knowledge is the ability to stand tall and strong in what amounts to being key components of my own identity.
Yesterday's post about sensitivity is only one aspect to be solidified yet, as I was writing yesterday, I was able to acknowledge the negative side to being a sensitive person.
Being brutally honest, the majority of my blogs, while often candid, are not the full story. Much is censored. Sensitive to hurting anyone who may be reading it has ended up causing hurt anyways. I am torn, now. This is a public forum. Do I totally open up regardless of my readers? Or, do I rethink the purpose of doing it nearly every day?
So, why am I even sitting here typing in the first place? The blog grounds my day in Christ. It has been a forum for many Triple T's. Maybe if I didn't live alone and had another person in my life to explore topics I've blogged about, the blog wouldn't exist. It is an opportunity to bounce ideas around and to find God's truth.
Relationships. Friendships. These are pretty big ships.
It's hard to relate to others outside of the centre. I admit that my life is all about recovery or dis-covery. My job isn't just a job. It's a way of life, this seeking to be a better person than I am. It's the same for everyone there. We share a common, united purpose. There's an unconditional acceptance for all and the place they are in. There's no effort to fix someone or to change according to another's viewpoint about how your own life should look. How incredibly freeing and such a demonstration of love! We do encourage each other to be better than we are without condemnation. We also celebrate victories and milestones with utter delight. I stand witness to the incredible resiliency of each and every individual there. As the line from the movie Avatar goes, "I see you."
Why is it so hard for me to meet others where they are at outside of the centre? No. That's not true. At all. At least, not all the time. I am only human after all. And I think I need to do some journaling about fear.
"I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." Eph 4:1-3
The Black River is a journey in faith. It delves into an exploration of life: from the calm, clear waters of the good days, the mundane, to the swirling eddies and deep waters of issues that face every one of us. Thank you for visiting this site. You can contact me personally at: godandtheblackriver@gmail.com
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