The New (Wo)Man by Susan L.

  Bits of memories from as far back as when I was three or four years old until recently have been coming to the surface. They are all connected by a lesson learned or reinforced. These were not taught out of spite or vindictiveness. The lessons were learned from people who learned from people who may not have known God`s truths about themselves. I have been convicted in this personally and asked God to forgive me for unknowingly passing on my own erroneous beliefs to others through words and actions.
  Help my words and actions be based on the foundation of my relationship with Jesus. In His name, Amen.
  In these memories are the birthplace and reinforcement of a lot that I've been struggling with over the last little while. It's been healing. It's helped me let go of a lot of lies that were once, what was thought, truths. Oh, amazing Grace!
  I`ve decided to be candid even if this is a public forum. I will use discretion about what or what not to share. Discretion isn`t the same as being afraid to share.
  What I say is an exploration of my own faith journey. My journey isn`t anyone else`s.
  If being candid helps someone else, all the better.
  I also welcome comments. There is always room for growth and learning. I admit I have been overly defensive but the reasons for that defensiveness have come to the forefront during this leg of my journey. It`s because of the fear that I have to live in someone else`s box to be accepted. I hope my readers can forgive me.
  These are some of the truths that have emerged. It helps to type them down because it solidifies them, makes them real.  
  Lord, I lift these up to You. Bless them in Jesus name, Amen.
  My physical self is absolutely lovely. It is a marvel of engineering. It has always been lovely. It will always be lovely even as I age and sag courtesy of the relentless force of gravity. This celebration isn`t the same as taking care of my body. To eat healthy, get plenty of rest and exercise is stewardship of this vessel of the Holy Spirit. Lord, I`ll need Your help on that both personally and financially.   
  Thank You for the massive refund from the oil company. It was money they didn`t need from last winter`s payments. (It pretty much covered my house insurance bill.) Thank You for providing for all my needs.
  Having fun is not being irresponsible or careless.
  Being silly is not the same as immaturity. I could get into a discourse on the importance of expressing the ``inner child``. Perhaps another day.
  Expressing any sort of emotion is not being "too much" of anything. My emotions aren't because I am "mentally ill". Expressing them isn't because there's something wrong with me.
  I don`t have to be serious all the time. My sense of humour is a bit quirky. I don`t find the Three Stooges funny at all. Same as the old Carol Burnett skits of ``Mamas Family``. People fighting and yelling at each other or hurting each other intentionally isn`t funny to me.
  There was an incident with trying to lead a donkey. I ended up doing this amazing body slide across wet grass when he took control of who was leading who. It`s still a source of much laughter. Especially for those who saw it happen. Apparently it`s become something of an urban legend much to my chagrin. I wasn`t being particularly smart that day. (And I laugh at my foolishness.) Maybe it`s a testimony demonstrating the wayward ways of donkeys. Except for one: the very special donkey who carried the Lord.
  I am ready for a break from all this searching. There is need to practice living in these new and wonderful understandings.
  ``For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation, that is the law of commandments contained in ordinances, so as to create in Himself one new man from the two, thus making peace, and that He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross, thereby putting to death the enmity.`` Eph 2:14-16