The Ax's Shadow by Susan L.

Last night's art therapy brought up the shadow of the ax. It's hard not to anticipate the ax falling when in reality everything in my life is going so well. My history taught me well because so much has been damaged at the hands of others or by circumstances beyond my control. Rest assured that even as I write this, the un-truth of this idea (lie) is loud and clear. As I drew representations of the areas of my life touched by trauma within the outline of an ax, it made me realize that this is a chronic concept. What bothers me is that these feelings of dread are so pervasive in my life. They aren't loud, just sly whispers that cause me to second guess or doubt everything I say or do. I understand the foundation for this dread. It's not surprising at all: a history of emotional and mental abuse has a cost. Most of the lies learned back then have been sent back to the manufacturer. The rest of this joy stealing darkness will vanish in time as confidence grows. Besides, I know in my heart and soul I am under a far greater Shadow now. "He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." Ps 91:1