Sunday, 5 January 2014

Today's Forecast by Susan L.

  There will be weather. Snow and more snow. So much so that the plows haven't been past yet. I guess they're trying to keep the main roads open. The driveway needs shovelling and the flakes are falling thick and fast. It will probably take a couple turns at the shovel before it's over.
  It has put a bit of a wrench in my plans for today. With a burst of energy I started spring cleaning yesterday. It feels good to get things organized. It's a task that has been put off for far too long. It helps that there will be a friend staying here while I am away. This gives me the incentive to do some major work around the place. I've noticed a rather large collection of cobwebs gathering where the ceiling meets the walls.
  These tasks have been somewhat neglected because I've had my own cobwebs gathering that have made doing anything a monumental effort. It's hard to feel motivated when depression is poking around the corners of my mind. Especially when there doesn't seem to be any reason for it. That's the hardest part of it. It doesn't have to have a reason, it just is.
  I've had it my whole life. The doctors figure that it was there since I was about seven. Dysthymia they called it, a form of low grade chronic depression. It makes day to day living a hard thing to do. It isn't as debilitating as a full blown depressive episode but makes it that much easier for those to take place. It almost feels like fighting off the flu every single day.
  It helped me to be diagnosed roughly seven years ago. I know there are others who feel the opposite but it gave me answers to the previously inexplicable. It answered many "why's?".  I know medications have helped with it too. Without them I wouldn't sleep.
  I've said lately that I am struggling. Yah, even doing my blog, a task I thoroughly enjoy has become a monumental task. Forgive me, Father, for ignoring the signs, for keeping secrets, for not honestly and openly confessing the reality of how bad things are right now.
  Today's forecast, besides the snow, will be one of hope. Guide me, Lord, so I may go and do what needs to be done before this gets any worse. If my meds need adjusting, so be it. If I need to seek counsel, so be it. I kneel before You in mind and soul awaiting Your word. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
   Jesus answered and said to them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick." Lk 5:31

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