Boundary Study Part 2

   "Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God--truly righteous and holy." Ephesians 4:23-24

  I spent the afternoon working on a small art prayer. It is a mix of paint and collaging. Prepping the page involved drawing a border around the edge. It made me smile because I learned a long time ago doing this helps contain the emotions within the limits of the paper.

  It is a boundary that protects me from carrying whatever gets stirred up. It is a boundary that makes the work manageable. It is a boundary that creates a safety zone where I can express what is in my heart. Closing the book or sketchpad is another boundary that allows me to say, "Enough for today."

  I began to imagine myself drawing a line around my life. Not only to contain, but to protect. But what do I need to protect?

  The key idea that emerged in the art began with grieving the fact that my, "No," was silenced. Shortly after, I came across a small article with the rules of being a Team Player. Rule #1 stopped me short--You understand your role.

  My role as a child was to keep my parents happy, to do what I was told, to never be emotional be it sad or silly, to never need help, to never be prideful, to never, ever, ever talk back or challenge their authority. My life was to fit into their schedule, their plans, their agenda, no deviations allowed. 

  My role as spouse reads pretty much the same.

  It was never a team at all.

  Other people drew the lines around who I was supposed to be. Ha...they scribbled all over it, too! I don't pretend to understand why although power and the need to control plays a huge part.

  Lord, help me extend some grace, here, for those whose role was skewed by cultural expectations, upbringing and insecurity.

  

  I want to take a moment and express the deep gratitude that God continues to honour my very first prayer as a Christian, "Who am I?"

   That's just the first phase of learning, though, isn't it?

  I know who I am now because God has reinforced His truth over the years. Sometimes I have a hard time believing what He says but that's part of the learning curve. 

  If I can't put boundaries in place to protect myself, I can put boundaries in place to protect all that God has revealed and nurtured and encouraged. It's not being selfish at all. It's guarding the pearls of my soul, heart and mind because they belong to God.

 And, like all things new, it will take practice. But now I have the image of a line around a page that will help me when someone else tries to scribble inside the lines.