Change Up

  Technology has changed. I need to think how I manage to chew through so much data. My habits haven't changed that much. Or maybe they have in subtle ways. Having an increased data limit doesn't seem to have rectified the problem with my home internet access. Especially since my provider hasn't adjusted my account to reflect the added amount. That problem is to be rectified on October 9th. But, even with the recent addition, I would have run out anyways.
  So if I disappear around the first week of the month, it's because I've run out of data. Overages are an obscene amount of money. One and a half gigs over costs $100. Yes, Canadians pay one of the highest rates for phone, internet and so forth.
  Regardless, I need to go on a data diet. Which is partially why I haven't blogged the last couple of days. 
  This morning sees me in a local coffee shop utilizing their free-to-customer WiFi, coffee and muffin at hand. "Free" is a matter of perspective.
  So, the diet. Which is actually more about setting some boundaries. I will no longer check work emails at home. Instead, they will be dealt with at work. It's supposed to be that way anyways but finding massive amounts of mail to go through when there's limited time...a modern problem. It's why I peeked in a couple times a week.
  I won't use my phone at work to Google stuff for visitors (and me) unless it's hooked up to our WiFi.
  Sharing photos on the blog and on Facebook is expensive now I realize my phone takes pictures that utilize more pixels ergo more megawhatsis. Facebook stuffs itself on data, too. All the posted comments, pictures, movies, aren't free to look at in terms of data. The irrelevant ads only make it worse.
  My use of Facebook might be coming to an end, or at least, it will be greatly restricted...something to peruse when a WiFi hot spot is available.
  I think it boils down to staying away from anything that contains images like checking out flyers, store products, or online shopping. Looking at kitchen designs is part of that. It will have to be the old fashioned way...imagine! Going into a store! Purchasing a magazine!
  But I do have to be grateful there are plenty of restaurants, coffee shops, businesses and even the library that offer WiFi services to their customers. The choice of location this morning was a higher end coffee shop because it is usually quieter than the nearby Tim Hortons. The coffee is extra tasty, too. And who knows what conversations will arise from having my Bible on the table beside me. Lord, Your will be done!
  For the next nine days, I'll need to go out to blog. This could mean posting is a bit sporadic. We'll just have to see.
  Thank You, Lord, for the businesses who recognize the need for technology. Bless them for it. In Jesus' name I pray. AMEN!
  "He also asked, "What else is the Kingdom of God like? It is like the yeast a woman used in making bread. Even though she put only a little yeast in three measures of flour, it permeated every part of the dough." Luke 13:20-21

 
 
 

In the Company of Women

  I should have known the Lord answers prayers. Even when we don't think we are praying.
  Yesterday, He sent a friend over so I was able to purge the shadows left from the night of nightmares. In talking with her, I realized a couple of things. There's a lot on my plate right now. There's still some unfinished business surrounding my past. But mostly, I realized how far I have come. Praise God!
  The answered prayer? To have more friends.
  Here's the thing. It stretches me to let people in even though it's hard, this trust thing, but until I do, alone I'll stay. Which isn't healthy.
  Or wise.
  Especially when the Black River roars as loud as it did yesterday.
  I was blessed with having a good listener hear me out without trying to advise or guide or correct me. That's a rare thing with us women. Wanting to fix, to make boo-boos feel better, is a sign of a maternal heart, of caring. I can recognize it as such because it's part of me, too; a part I have to rein in when I am called to be a listener.
  Having space to vent is important.
  Or maybe it's not so much venting as sharing the things which weigh us down. Which is healthy. In the sharing, I found solutions. In the sharing, I found answers. In the sharing, my load lightened because I could see where God was working in and through my life.
  Mostly, my needs were identified. While the solutions aren't clear yet, I can begin to take steps to rectify what's wrong, to change what I can, and accept what is out of my power to control.

  So last night I made a pair of small throw pillows to match the piano bench cover. There's one more laid out, ready to sew later tonight.
  Creativity is a huge part of my wellness. Creating is.
  Making something from nothing...I need more of it in my life.
 
  Lord, thank You for the company of women. Thank You for strengthening my resolve to reach out. Thank You, Lord, that this friend reached in, adding her strength to mine.

  "Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit's lead in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another." Galatians 5:25-26
 
 

Morning Shadows

  It was a night of disquieting dreams. Nightmares I guess. While there is very little recollection of what they were about, this morning has me feeling rather sad and edgy. Tearful, too. Vulnerable.
  It happens. Thankfully not that often. Maybe once every couple of weeks.
  I remember being afraid. Feeling powerless. Trapped...
 
  Maybe I need to change the subject.
  I definitely need to get out of the house. 

  Lord, I lift the night to You. Let me have peace. In Jesus' name I pray. AMEN!

  "What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord, who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs. The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings."  Psalm 84:5-6

 

Quilt

  My piano bench...it's actually an organ bench with legs cut down to a shorter height...was rather uncomfortable. Having a towel folded over gave some comfort which is important because to sit there for more than an hour...You get the picture.
  I decided to do something more permanent and better looking than a towel. A couple of trips to a fabric store gave me everything needed. Foam, music themed fabric, thread and other bits and pieces to complete the project.
  This is outside my experience, doing a piecework quilt pattern. Using the sewing machine to do this sort of thing is also new. All my crazy quilt projects have been entirely done by hand.
  The design was laid out on graph paper based on bench dimensions. The fabric squares and triangles were cut out using a cardboard template. I even remembered to add extra for the seams!
  Okay, maybe I should have used a set square to make sure the templates were perfect. A fraction off over the space of the work has an impact, throwing the project skewed in several places. Ha, the ripple effect!
  Making the keyboard squares was the first step using strips of fabric for the black keys. Not perfectly despite being careful but at least they represent a keyboard. Call it modern art. (Smile.)
  It was a bit tricky when it came to piecing the rest together; to make sure I'd pinned the correct colour in the correct place. Yes, I had to redo a couple that had been sewn together wrong. Un-sewing and do-overs quickly taught me to be extra careful because I hate do-overs. It wounds my pride. (Smile, again.)
  You know, it's funny. When it comes to conversations with people, I have all the patience in the world. When it comes to projects, that same patience seems to fly out the window. I want it done NOW!
   I had thought tying the cover to the legs would hold the foam in place well enough but because the foam wasn't a solid piece, it tended to wander, leaving gaps in the padding. Thankfully, I have plenty of pillow cases so I sewed one around the foam to make a solid base. It was tied it to the piano bench before tying the cover in place over it once it was completed. It doesn't move at all and the cover can be removed and washed if needed.
  This was a huge learning curve for me. While the perfectionist in me sees the flaws, overall I am pleased with this project. It dredged up some long forgotten grade 8 home economics sewing skills from the dusty corners of my mind.
  There's something philosophical about a quilt. How small pieces of the various patterns and colours come together to create something whole, something beautiful. If wonky. At least, in this case. Wonky is okay because I learned from it.
  Wonky has no impact on comfort. (Smile.)
  I learned to take care with templates; that sewing fabric on the machine can cause it to gather, to shrink from it's original size; that I enjoy doing this to the point it might not hurt to take some sewing classes at a local fabric shop.
  And I know for sure the next one will be much better.
  "The stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone." 1 Peter 2:7
 
 
 

Music is the prayer the heart sings.

    The wall sticker arrived from China. It says the title of today's blog. The photo selling it was misleading. It is much smaller than I thought it would be. They must have put a teeny tiny couch in front of it for the photo! Oh well. What's the saying? You get what you pay for. Nevertheless, having it on the wall over the piano has served to remind me how important music is to my faith.
  Somewhere along the line I'd forgotten that nothing dispels the shadows quicker than having worship music playing. A while back, I'd gotten rid of my stereo...I'd since forgotten how important it was for my well being to have music filling the house.
  Playing the piano is only one part of it. It's rather hard to play the piano while doing dishes or making my bed. It's in the silence the overwhelm makes itself most known. It's in the silence loneliness wraps itself around my heart. It's in the silence unwanted memories come to mind.
  I confess I have been using the TV to fill the silence (forgive me for that, my Lord). Home decorating/renovation programs only numb the mind. They don't disperse the shadows. They don't send these things scurrying back to the darkness from where they came.
  My TV has another purpose, an important one. It's one of the reasons I bought a sound bar. Again, I'd forgotten the initial reason for buying a good speaker. It's why I got rid of the stereo. New technology had replaced it.
  My satellite service comes with radio stations. One of which is Christian. I spent some time listening to it yesterday. It's hokey. It's corny. It's good ole classic, hand clappin', praise Jesus! Christian music and solemn, worshipful hymns interspersed with calls for listeners to come to the Lord. I love it.
  There is a local Christian radio station I can tune into through the sound bar but it plays more modern music. I admit not being able to understand half the words. I am not that fond of rap or heavy metal even if the lyrics are God honouring.
  The TV is hooked up to a DVD player which also plays CDs. The speaker is good enough to let me blast the house with LOUD if I should so desire. Loud can be good sometimes.
  I know there are more opportunities to listen to worship music online but a laptop speaker just doesn't cut it somehow.
 
  Thank You, Lord, for cheap products from China.
  Thank You, Lord, for making music a part of faith.
  Thank You, Lord, for the musicians who use their gifts to honour You. Bless them. Keep them safe.
  In Jesus' name I pray. AMEN!

  "Come everyone! Clap your hands! Shout to God with joyful praise! For the Lord most High is awesome. He is the great King of all the earth." Psalm 47:1-2
 

Whoosh!

  A barrage of the business end of things has come my way. It doesn't take much to leave me feeling overwhelmed so I need to take it one step at a time; to break it down into manageable pieces. Bear with me because this is the best place to lift all of it to the Lord.
  The first is easy. I found the bill for the new furnace and the monthly oil bill rates tucked into a magazine. It had me wondering why there had been no bill from them so that's the first priority. The cheques will get dropped off to them later today. It does leave me smiling: small town, old fashioned payment methods.
  Lord, I trust that the means to fulfill this monthly obligation will always be there.
  It's house insurance renewal time, too. There's been a fair bit of back and forthing with the company because of the flood earlier this year. I had called them at the time (just in case) but ended up cancelling any claim for repairs. The small losses simply weren't enough to justify going through insurance. (Praise God!) 
  Here's the frustrating part. Even though a claim was never filed, for some reason they think the flood came via the sewer so there has been a whole song and dance to prove that it hadn't: photos of the clean basement, forms to fill out, etc. Here's even more frustration: I am not on a sewer system but a private septic system. The flood was a result of overland water. No sewage entered the basement.
  Had a claim been filed, my insurance rate would have cost a couple hundred more per year!
  I wrote my insurance broker a clear letter to that effect this morning so hopefully they will get it.
  Lord, I lift my frustration to You. Even though I've shared what happened several times with the company, it feels as though I am not being heard. Let them hear me now.
  And there's other things. Straw mostly but straw can be an itchy thing. Irritating.
  Lord, the everyday stuff of life regularly overwhelms me. Teach me to learn to take it one step at a time. Teach me to turn to You for help a whole lot faster because I know, in You, is peace, patience and grace. All these things I ask in Jesus' name. AMEN!

  "Jesus replied, "The Kingdom of God can't be detected by visible signs. You won't be able to say, "Here it is!" or "It's over there!" For the Kingdom of God is already among you."" Luke 17:20
 

A Lucky Ducky

  A blast of heat driven up from the Gulf of Mexico brought subtropical heat with it yesterday but it wasn't to last. Around four, a cold front blasted through bringing a couple brief, torrential downpours and relief from the humidity. By last night, the temperature had dropped over twenty degrees. This meant wind. A lot of wind.
  I received notice on my phone that someone in the area had lost power. Surely because of a tree coming down. It was okay here so I was able to get out to worship team practice for some much needed worship and a really good laugh.

  One of our younger members had been overseas to a missions school. She shared that from within the fifty students, there had been six weddings as a result of their time together. Our team leader shared that she and her spouse had met at college as well.
  I jokingly commented, "Maybe I should go to college!" It got a laugh.
  "Yah," I said, "Cougar on the campus!"
  I confess to being a bit shocked by this case of mouth-getting-ahead-of-brain. And maybe it wasn't the most appropriate sort of thing to say at a worship practice but...
  I haven't had a belly laugh like that for a long time. We "older" ones laughed even harder when one of the younger members commented, "I don't know if I should laugh or be really creeped out!"
  Oh, honey, I am older but not dead yet.
  All the stress and tension and sorrows of the last week lifted off my shoulders as laugh tears streamed down my cheeks.
  It felt really good to laugh.
  There needs to be more laughter in my life.

  Later that night something amazing happened.
  Which is why I mentioned the wind.
  Lying in bed, just after lights out, I heard a crash. Thinking a tree had come down, I got up to have a look. It wasn't a tree. I'd forgotten to take down the umbrella over the table outside. Normally, the yard is sheltered from the worst of the weather but a gust of wind had lifted the umbrella up taking the three by four foot glass table top with it. Or maybe the glass had been lifted, taking the umbrella with it!
  Praise the Lord, it hadn't broken but was lying on it's side, leaning against the undamaged, metal table frame. It had been turned sideways so the long side was on the ground. The safety glass is heavy which goes to show just how ferocious the wind was!
  The umbrella might be broken beyond repair, I'll have a look at it later in the day but I still feel incredibly blessed by what I view as a miracle.

  "Let us come to him with thanksgiving. Let us sing psalms of praise to him. For the Lord is a great God, a great King above all gods." Psalm 95:2