Taking a Leap

   "For You created my innermost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-14

  I got the calendar out this morning to map out a path of days aimed at reducing one of the medications taken for anxiety. It's a long, slow process and will take several months. It will take just as many months for my body to adjust. Psychotropic medications are one of the hardest types to stop taking. I learned the hard way to never, ever quit them cold turkey because it threw my body and mind into utter chaos. 

  Nobody warned me this would happen.

  It's because the body's coping systems get used to the help. That's why it takes so long for the body to adjust. I've been on this particular medication for years and while I would love to not take it any more the process requires patience. It will take several years to get off it for a number of reasons. 

  I need to be feeling well enough to tackle this because it will increase my anxiety level for a time. That's why it's done in the spring when days are growing warmer and longer. My psychiatrist, who supports a careful reduction also recommended this. I trust him. He's never been they type of doctor who leans towards over medication and has worked with me so I only take enough to allow me to do the work needed to find mental wellness and stability.

  I've seen far too many people who are unable to think or feel because of the massive amounts of meds prescribed to them. It's a sad existence, not a life. This utterly erases any sort of ability to work through whatever led them to the need for meds in the first place. It's like they've had an emotional lobotomy.

  The medications have only ever been one tool in my journey of discovery.

  My environment needs to be fairly stable to facilitate any reductions. The added chaotic and confusing Covid protocols and what happened with Bruxy made it impossible for me to do this before now. 

  Life finally has some semblance of order again.

  Emotionally, I am in a very good place. It's nice to be able to say that.

  Then something new has come across my path. It's not really new, but new to me.

  For a long time, I was reluctant to delve into anything that might lead me astray. I questioned homeopathic practices, not sure if they were really of God. Funny, that. I just realized I never had an issue taking a pill without any doubt they weren't of God.

  So natural things are finally being added as alternative tools in my pursuit of wellness. 

  Taking enough vitamin D was the first. North Americans need more D in the spring. Sadly, this is when the suicide rates increase because our bodies are so depleted after the short, gray days of winter. It's such an inexpensive way to support mental wellness for everyone. It's simply a matter of making sure we take enough. I take 5000 mg per day. It took some experimenting to find that level but anything less, I feel the difference. If I find myself feeling down after a few sunless days, I take more until things are back on track.

  My pharmacist changed my life when she told me all about it a few years ago. Previous experiments with D hadn't worked because I simply wasn't taking enough.

  I now wear a Harmoni necklace that helps protect the body against EMFs. I know, it sounds like hooey. How could a piece of jewelry protect against all the electromagnetic forces in the world today? Power lines emit them, my laptop, the microwave, cell phone transmissions... it's everywhere. All I know is within twenty minutes of putting it on the first time, my stress level dropped dramatically. I took it off to see what would happen. You guessed it...within minutes, up she went again. It's helped me realize there might be environmental influences feeding the anxiety. (It's nice to know it's not all in my head after all.)

  Chronic anxiety is nasty. I suffer so badly because my mind got broken. It's always in high alert, fight flight mode. It's not due to a lack of faith or fear, but to repeated physical  and emotional trauma that damaged my brain. Trauma has been proven to cause the same type of damage a stroke can cause. If the necklace's ability to calm stress is simply a placebo effect, I don't care. If a placebo fools the body and mind into a place of rest, count me in! It's retraining my brain either way.

  Thank You Lord that the brain can be healed and retrained!

  So, about this new to me thing. There's a homeopathic practice that's been around for a long time called Body Talk. (www.bodytalksystems.com) While I am unfamiliar with all the ins and outs of it, simply put, it allows us to listen to what our body is saying at a subconscious level. We do it all the time when our body tells us it's time to sleep. 

  The practice I am tapping into, literally, is called the Cortices Technique. It involves a systematic placing of your hands on your head and tapping. I was utterly blown away by what happened the first time I tried and have since incorporated this into my anti-anxiety arsenal. It turns me into pudding every time. 

  I like feeling like pudding if pudding describes what it's like to not feel anxious! My meds have only succeeded in moderating it, not eradicating it.

  If tapping retrains my brain and body, if this simple exercise brings healing, I know it is of God.

  The effects don't last very long for now but I have hope that, over time, the pudding feeling will last longer. My body needs to learn this is how it should feel. 

  This is the first time in my life I've ever felt an absence of anxiety, however briefly. Ever. 

  I am filled with hope and excitement that my body and mind will one day be at peace. Praise God! I won't have to wait until He takes me home after all.