HSP: Highly Sensitive Person

   'The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for He has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the Lord's favor has come." Jesus   Luke 4:18

  An email came in yesterday. It contained the link to a website regarding highly sensitive people or HSP. As I poured through article after article, I felt the Lord's hand on my shoulder.

  "This is one of your why's."

  There are many, you know. 

  I have no idea where or when "why" became a question we were never supposed to ask of God...oh...my why's aren't asking why God allowed something to happen. They are a child's curious questions as though I am asking why the sky is blue. God created our atmosphere to sustain life. Science has enabled us to understand why it is blue.  

  God knows I love answers.

  He has been faithful in answering the very first prayer I made as a new believer, "Who am I?" As I discover more and more and unravel toxic beliefs, Jesus reveals more and more of who He is. 

  While this may not have been articulated as a direct prayer/question, the unspoken one has been, "Why am I the way I am?" I believed there was something fundamentally wrong with me.

  My whole life I've had people tell me how I should be and that the way I was wasn't good or right. They demanded that my behaviours fit their expectations.

  Acquiescence spoke up loudly so I obeyed even into adulthood. God has forgiven me for denying myself because I didn't know there was such a thing as having the right to be or do anything else. My wants or needs were always negated or belittled and in some relationships still are but I am working on that. 

  It takes some time to unlearn the guilt that comes from rocking the boat.

  God has given me a friend who encourages and supports my choices; who also helps me see God's truth and plans. I've never had a champion before. I've never had someone who is okay with me being me. Gratitude for this gift is too inadequate a word.

  Then this email arrives "out of the blue" bringing clarity and a fresh perspective. (Smile. God's timing is impeccable isn't it.)

  Oh, how I love science! The sky is blue because of the sun.

  And this is for all the other highly sensitive people out there. Yes, you are different! Praise God!

  www.highlysensitiverefuge.com

  While pouring through the website, reading article after article, my soul laughed and danced with joy.

  Less than one in three of us are highly sensitive. Brain scans and science have proven our brains are more active and attuned to the subtleties of our environment. We unconsciously utilize more of our brain's abilities to process the world around us. 

  Sensitivity is far more than emotional responses to emotional events.

  Our brains are wired with a level of hypervigilance that is ever present. It means when we look at a box of cereal we see far more than a box. It means we are far more aware of the emotional cues from the people around us. It means we can get awfully tired being in a busy store.

  It means we can lose ourselves in the sight of something beautiful: a landscape, a laughing child, the way the sun hits the trees and turns them to gold.

  It means we have a hard time watching the news because our ability to emotionally connect with what's happening can impact us in terrible ways.

  I though I was this way because of PTSD. The PTSD actually amped up what was already there naturally. The article has made me realize this isn't an inner enemy to be vanquished because I am not actually broken beyond repair. It's part of who I am and how my mind works.

  I've also said many times that trauma  has damaged my brain similarly to the damage a stroke causes. What if it hasn't? What if there's nothing wrong with the way I think or process or view the word and my environment? What if I treat my brain and the way it works as the gift God meant it to be?

  How freeing is that! And there's so much more to how these authors have helped me find grace and acceptance. Knowledge is a powerful thing.

  While there are challenges, there are also untold gifts in being a highly sensitive person. It's why the world works so hard to shut it down. 

  And I can say, through the power and love of Christ, no, the world won't.

  There is no such thing as being "too sensitive." God forbid I ever, ever grow a thick skin.