The Untold Story

“Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.” Eph 6:13

 

  This painting was done yesterday, a lifetime ago. I had no idea it was prophetic.

 

  I have struggled sometimes, reading the Psalms, when King David goes on and on asking God to smite, punish and kill his enemies. It seems to be at war with what I believe following Jesus is about.

  It is.

  David didn’t know Jesus.

  I find myself in David’s court this morning.

  Over the last twelve hours, God has answered some of the private questions I have been silently asking since God opened my eyes to seeing, remembering things that were just to the left of normal. Today's answers echo other knowledge I have gained over the years. 

  God has allowed this confirmation of my many suspicions. I have zero reason to think anyone, ever, would make this shit up. I know the story isn't finished, either. There will be more suspicions confirmed when God knows I am ready.

  If you think of the worst possible thing someone can do to someone else and multiply it ten-fold...

  I am angry. No. It’s beyond anger.

  I respect the desire for confidentiality no matter how much I want to hold those involved accountable. Hagar understands the reasons why.

  A stream of profanity pours from my lips.

  A murderous heart speaks up.

  It is all so sick and twisted and wrong!

  And I ask the dreaded question, “How? God, how could you let this happen?”

  How do people even think they have the right to do such harm?

  God, smite them.

  I hate men this morning.

  Bruxy is on the hit list, too. Even though we haven’t heard the results of the two latest investigations…if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck…it’s a duck. It will never, ever be a swan.

  Oh, ducks are cute when they wheedle at the stale bread floating in the water, but they also eat living things.

  It is all so sick and twisted and wrong!

  

  I have forgiven much. More than anyone could possibly imagine. Sometimes it takes time, sometimes it comes in waves. Sometimes I am simply not ready. I will hold onto the hope that there will more. God's not finished yet.

  Forgiveness never, ever demands we keep secrets!!!! Jesus never, ever asks this of us.

  Hear me, O God!

  To all you men out there: the pedophiles, the molesters, the abusers, the pimps, the pornographers, the rapists, the thieves of all that is good and innocent, you will be found out. You will be revealed. Your secrets will no longer be kept in the darkness. God knows where you are and who you are. He is calling His women to arms and cladding them in His armor.

  Women, my sisters, I encourage you to come forward. Yes, there will be those who won’t/can’t believe your story.

  I will.

  So will many others who share your experiences or worse. The only way to fight back is to end the silence. The only way to stop the terrible things men do to women of all ages is to make them very afraid they will be publicly named. It’s time to stop protecting them. Shout the truth from the rooftop. Then give the men to God.

  If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for the women God has in Heaven waiting to be born. Oh, Lord, the generations who have been harmed!!

  If you can't do it for yourself, find an advocate, a champion for your cause, a shoulder for your tears. We are out there, waiting. (God, bless Danielle Strickland!)

  My sisters, gather around each other. Believe, even if you can’t bear to hear such things. None of us ever, ever asked for it. Do not silence us, or blame us. Do not shut us down.

  And, to you, my sisters, please forgive me for turning a blind eye to the things just left of normal, for not asking questions, for not acknowledging something wasn't right. Forgive me for being afraid to come alongside you in the darkness because it was too close to the darkness in me. Forgive me for imagining swans when there were ducks.

   Let courage shine the light on evil. Let God’s brilliant armor burn the darkness into oblivion.

  And God? There are men and boys out there who are our sisters, too. Look after them, would You?