On Happiness

 "So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants." Galatians 5:17

  "But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." Galatians 5:22-23

  The idea of happiness has been swirling around the ole gray matter lately. To the point that I thought I might do some visualization exercises similar to the kind of mental exercises athletes do before they run a race. They run it in their heads: imagining their stride, their breathing, their victory. 

  It seemed a good idea to close my eyes and imagine what it would be like to be happy without being afraid of it. It's perfectly understandable why happiness comes tainted with such fear. Life taught me it was a punishable offence. 

  So maybe I need to look into why it is this way.

  More importantly, I will ask the Lord who I need to forgive; the ones who taught me to fear the mere idea of being happy.

  Like the happiness felt over something I created when it was misconstrued as boastful pride. Those moments of silliness and laughter that were simply too loud to permit. The moments of feeling accepted only to find there was a cost to pay for such acceptance...

  Happiness was taken from me so it was easier to shut it down rather than feel the hurt or face the punishment it always brought.

  It's time to let that go. It's time to stop being afraid of the happiness rug getting pulled out from under me.

  So, Mom, I forgive you for hating my happiness. Brother, I forgive you for stealing happiness. Husband, I forgive you for crushing happiness on so many occasions. Monster of the closet, I forgive you for taking the happiness of safety from me. The other monsters who lived outside of the closet, I forgive you for using happiness to lure me in. Friend, I forgive you for dismissing anything I was happy about as being inconsequential.

  I give my fear to Jesus.

  Lord, I repent of shutting down my emotions; of running from them. I repent of believing the lie that happiness was not allowed. 

  Forgive me, my Lord, the One who has patiently shown me that happiness is the offspring of joy, of play, of delight, of community and celebration. It's the happiness found in quiet moments of seeking, of learning, of growing, of knowing a job is well done. Happiness is in creating something beautiful, or in the act of writing words that touch the heart. Happiness is standing in awe of all You have created and continue to create each and every day.

  But most of all, dear Lord, happiness is knowing that You are here. Always.

  Oh...now this stings...Forgive me for being jealous of the people who laugh easily. Forgive me for stealing happiness away from others in things I have said or done. In Jesus name.

  Lord? Thank you for forgiving me. I will ask You to continue showing me areas where this lie may still exist. Help me remain open to hearing what You have to say. 

  Teach me how to protect and guard my joy, my happiness, against the one who has had the power long enough. Help me stand against the ones he uses to do his work. 

  Joy and happiness are from the Lord. The enemy of my soul has no claim on them. Not any more. AMEN!