I am Helped by Him, Isaiah 44:2 by Susan L.

  "Thus says the Lord who made you and formed you from the womb, who will help you; 'Fear not, O Jacob My servant; And you, Jeshurun, whom I have chosen.'" NKJV
  "The Lord who made you and helps you says: Do not be afraid, O Jacob, my servant, O dear Israel, my chosen one." JCB

  So it hasn't been a good weekend. I had to battle down a panic attack yesterday morning at church. I walked into the performance hall where we hold the service. Worship music was playing loudly through the speakers. There were busy people busy setting up the equipment.
  Unwanted and unbidden, up came the overwhelming, screaming heebie-jeebies.
  I couldn't breathe.
  I could feel my brain slipping sideways. It's like reality becomes a post card, a flat image utterly disconnected from the actual textures of life. Everything starts to grow distant and surreal.
  I went ahead and set up my flute then tooted a few warm up notes but had to get out of the room. It was like a dream. I walked into the common area, taking some deep breaths which never works for me when it comes to battling the inner forces but I took them anyways. 
  Someone asked me if I was okay.
  Tears pricked at my eyes. "No. I'm not."
  Leaving wasn't an option. We were doing a performance piece in honour of Thanksgiving and I wanted to play, to be a small part in creating something beautiful. There joy in making music!
  I took one of my just-in-case-of-emergency pills. It calmed me enough to get through the service although tears of exhaustion bubbled up as I packed up my flute as quickly as possible and fled when it was over.
  Lord, You are my help. Thank You for sending someone to pray for me in the midst of all of this.
  Protect me from the unrelenting sadness as I face the reality that the Black River still flows and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. Help me let go of the anger, the resentment; of the feelings of powerlessness.
  Because You know the truth of who I am in Christ.