Affirmation #142 by Susan L.

  I am indwelt by Christ Jesus. John 14:20
  Jesus says, "At that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you." NKJV
  "When I am raised to life again, you will know that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you." JCB

  After installing the closet doors for my bedroom, I pulled out a jean jacket that hasn't been worn for a long time. It's the season for jackets. It's been in my wardrobe for a long time: a man's jacket dressed up with a bit of crazy quilting on the back and sleeves.
  As I put it on, I remembered why I have kept it.
  This is a story I've shared before but it's one of those unforgettable events that keep coming to mind.

  It was the summer of the coyotes. Over a decade ago. The summer I was on my own while my ex was overseas.
  One afternoon, the cows were kicking up a terrible fuss. I went flying up the road to the barnyard to see what was the matter. The cows were attacking a lamb that was bleeding profusely. The only reason I can think they would do this is because it smelled like the coyote who boldly circled hoping to get close enough to snatch it back.
  I chased coyote and cows away and lifted the lamb up. It was too badly injured to save. Sitting on the ground, I wrapped it in the above mentioned jean jacket and held it while it died. 
  There had been far too much death that fateful summer including a pet goat that had disappeared a few days earlier.
  As the little lamb breathed its last, and tears filled my eyes, I remember saying, "I can't do this any more. I am done. Finished."
 
 I've shared before about the significance of this jacket being covered with the blood of a lamb and even though it washed out, the Lord has used it to remind me that I am covered by the Blood of the Lamb.
  Over the last few days, since I pulled the jacket out of the closet, I've realized something else.
  God was listening.
  He heard my despair.
  He heard my need.
  Even though I'd turned my back on faith and church, He hadn't turned His back on me.
  He honoured my long forgotten commitment to Jesus spoken at a forgettable Anglican First Communion Ceremony. (Lord, once again I forgive the priest who did so poorly at sharing Your love.)
  He used this prayer, to a God I vainly hoped was there and listening, to set in motion everything that would set me free and make me run directly into His arms once and for all.
  Forever.