I am Gracious Proverbs 22:11 by Susan L.

  "He who loves purity of heart and has grace on his lips, the king will be his friend." NKJV
  "Whoever loves a pure heart and gracious speech will have the king as a friend." JCB

  So to define gracious, Google gave two definitions. The first is courteous, polite, civil, well mannered, mannerly and decorous. Then there's the Biblical definition: merciful, compassionate and kind.
  The scary part is I can easily live up to the first definition because it is simply about behaviour not about my heart. Although, a polite and sincere "Please and thank you" goes a long way. Maybe that's why loving a pure heart comes first because there's such a thing in this world as having a silver tongue. I think of the salesman who sold me something I didn't really need. He was polite and charming and told me everything I wanted to hear. He wasn't motivated by what was best for the given situation, he was motivated by his wallet.
  I am also feeling deeply convicted by this affirmation. The truth is, at times, I am not overly merciful, compassionate or kind. I am impatient. Judgemental...yah, judgement takes the Godly trio of mercy, compassion and kindness completely out of the picture.

  We need the ability to judge to survive because realizing a cliff is too high to jump from or that the red, glowing fire is dangerous are judgements necessary to keep us safe.
  The judgements that aren't necessary are the ones that oppress another human being. It's a tough one to shake free of because it permeates every aspect of our society. "Different" is not acceptable. "Less than" is not acceptable. It's interesting how they morph depending on the class, society or culture we are raised in. What is acceptable in one culture can be a huge taboo in another.
  We learn how to judge people and ourselves from a very early age. We learn that it's okay to do so. It's a mob mentality thing. It's an industrial revolution thing where cookie cutter education and upbringing define the parameters of who we should be or how we must act in order to be an "acceptable" part of society. Regardless of where in the world we are raised.
  I need to take some time to think about my own "position" in society: a Caucasian woman in North America of the middle class. I was taught how to set a table for company, to artfully display my possessions, to uphold the standards of a pristine, green grass lawn and choreographed gardens. I was taught many rules about decorum and propriety. The fact I take the garbage out to the end of the driveway in my jammies is a faux pas of tremendous magnitude if I look at it based on everything learned.
  I think of the lady who used to live behind us. "Rosie" Dad called her with an edge of contempt to his voice because she would wander the privacy of her back yard in a fluffy, pink housecoat. I could never figure out why he thought this was a bad thing. But then, he had his own cultural baggage and racial prejudices learned from the cradle.
  Nearly every time a car drives past while I am in the middle of the garbage task I hear a whisper of "Rosie".
  Hmmm, having to take out my own trash to the end of the driveway is "men's work". Hmmm..."men's work"...that would take a novel to explore. Is having to take out the trash symbolic of failure? Lord, I need Your grace right now. I think another onion layer has been peeled back.
  Lord, it would appear I need to look into some generational stuff. Lessons handed down that don't fall in line with the grace You want Your children to live in and through. They don't fall in line with compassion or kindness either.
  I want to be better than I am. Let my tongue be guarded. Let my heart and mind be opened to seeing other people as You see them. In Jesus name I pray. AMEN!