I Have a Gift to Bring Pa-rum-pa-pa-pum

  “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. There is no law against these things!” Galatians 5:22-23

  Not sure if this has been already shared but it bears repeating. There has been one more figure added to the knitted Nativity scene. Inspired by a painting of the same, I couldn’t help but emulate it. The painting has Santa Claus kneeling before the manger. It is a simple yet beautiful image that makes a profound statement about the meaning of Christmas. I’ve got my Santa in the company of the wise men.

  Did you know that nowhere in Scripture does it say how many wise men there were? I suppose because the Bible tells of their three gifts (gold, frankincense and myrrh) the wise men have typically been represented as a trio throughout the ages.

  No mention is ever made about what Mary and Joseph did with these gifts. I don’t think Jesus had a trust fund. (Smile.) Actually, He did, only it was in His Father He placed His trust. Talk about an account with an eternal balance!

  Perhaps this part of the Christmas story is an encouragement for us to give the best we can to Jesus. While all I have to offer Him falls far short of the monetary value of the wise men’s gifts, what I am able to give is priceless.

  If I were a wise man…woman in this case…what would I bring to the humble stable to give to Jesus?

  The gift of believing Jesus is Lord.

   Loving Him with the love He displayed on the Cross given back a thousand fold.

  The joy of always knowing I am with Him.

  The peace He has brought in times of trial and darkness.

  The gift of patience, of waiting to see what has yet to unfold.

  Kindness.

  I would give Jesus the gift of trying to be good and to do good because He is better than good and has shown me the way.

  Faithfulness: the surrender of everything that keeps me apart from Him.

  Gentleness and self control which basically means laying my agenda down.

  Perhaps the greatest gift of all is time.

  Taking the time to know Him better.

  Making the time to talk with Him about everything that gets in the way of living through the generous gifts of the Holy Spirit.

  Finding time to meet with others of like minds to learn and grow together.

  Breaking away from routine to explore the life of Jesus and all He represents. Yes, represents, not represented. There is no past tense with Jesus.

  As our mortal clock ticks away the few remaining hours of 2018, I hold out much hope for the New Year. It is going to be amazing!

  God bless us all!

New Year's Revolution

  “For God said to Moses, ‘I will show mercy to anyone I choose, and I will show compassion to anyone I choose.’ So it is God who decides to show mercy. We can neither choose it nor work for it.” Romans 9:15-16

  I am full of the cold. It hit yesterday with a vengeance leaving me feverish, coughing, achy and downright miserable. I was able to get through work with the help of illicit doses of cough medicine. (That’s ignoring the label’s recommendations.) Bedtime came early and I slept like a babe: whining, crying, waking through the night. (Smile.) That’s not true. I slept OK.

  Joking around yesterday, the idea came to change the idea of New Year’s resolutions into a New Year’s revolution. I was going to go through next year miserable, cranky, being mean to people, as well as being rude and demanding. By the time I finished the list which included many more ways to be mean and cruel, I was laughing at the foolishness. My co-worker was laughing at me, too. She knows me too well.

  But I like the idea of a revolution. They usually happen due to a revolt against the status quo, against the powers that be. So maybe we can have a quiet, peaceful revolution where kindness takes the place of cruelty, where manners take the place of rudeness, where demands are replaced by giving. Perhaps our revolution could be setting aside differences and prejudices, suspicions and hate. Greed can fall by the wayside, too, erased by gratitude.

  Perhaps our revolution, with the Cross as its standard, could be allowing our lives to be a better representation of the love of Jesus Christ in all we do and say and think.

  I had to pop into a hardware store on Boxing Day. With a to-do list hanging over my head, and feeling flustered by it, I confess I was rather abrupt with the cashier as manners flew out the window. I think Jesus smacked me upside the head because, before I left, I looked her in the eyes, smiled and thanked her for her service. You should have seen her response! Her smile outshone the stars!

   It takes just as much time to be kind as it does to be cruel.

  A Jesus revolution doesn’t have to wait. There’s no assembling of armies. There are no underground missions or subversive plots. There is no boot camp, no need to be promoted through the ranks before we can take up arms! And what an armory we have!

  Kindness, love, mercy and grace are four of the most powerful weapons ever made. So, too, is surrender.

  Oh, if you decide to take up arms for Jesus? Let your arms become a hug. There aren’t enough hugs in this ole world.

 

Who Needs Them Anyways?

    “Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.” Mathew 6:37

  This passage is about making vows, promises that are sworn based on the power of a third party.  I guess we do this sort of thing to add some sort of validity or weight to our words. Or perhaps, by invoking the power of a third party, it is supposed to make it easier for us to succeed in our promises. involving someone or something else gives us the wiggle room to lay blame on them for our failure to keep our word.

  For example, “By God, I will do this!!”

  And when I didn’t or don’t remain true to my word? “God didn’t help me at all!”

  Perhaps this is why New Year’s resolutions have a tendency to fail.

  Who needs them anyways? Life is challenging enough already!

  Or maybe trying to keep our word is the devil’s playground. It is to his delight that broken promises leave behind a swathe of destruction, anger, guilt and bitterness; all the things that keep us apart from God and each other. (Forgive me. Lord, for all the times I’ve broken my promises.)

  But then, our ability to fail tremendously opens the doorway to learning about grace and forgiveness.

  Grace. What a beautiful thing it is.

  I think, too, the devil is very happy to erase everything Christmas represents by setting us up for failure a short while later; when our New Year’s diet oath fails or our exercise regimen lands on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn again.

  So where is this going?

1.       The heartbreak of broken promises.

2.       The guilt of broken promises.

3.       The shame in breaking them.

4.       The blaming...ourselves and others.

  Man, that’s an ugly list!

 

  Ah, I know where this list needs to go…directly to God’s ear.

  Lord, for someone who dislikes making lists, they seem to be a big part of my writing. (Smile.) Grant me the ability to scratch them off one by one. Let me learn to say “no” without feeling guilty. In Jesus’ name I pray. AMEN!

A Christmas Blessing

   “In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God and the Word was God…The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. ” John 1:1 & 4

  For unto us a child is born!

  May peace be with you in times of trial.

  May joy be with you when your heart is heavy.

  May a sense of belonging surround you when you feel alone.

  May you feel the presence of Jesus when life is good.

  For unto us a child is born!

  May you come to know, with a depth and richness of understanding, who Jesus is.

  May you be able to embrace the timeless and eternal love of God.

  May you grow to see yourself through His eyes and realize just how amazing and wonderful you are.

  May you be filled with hunger to know more!

  For unto us a child is born!

  May you find many ways to connect with Jesus.

  May your eyes and heart be opened to see Him in all aspects of your life.

  May song and prayer and all that you do be done to honour Him.

 

  For unto us a child is born!

   

  May laughter fill your soul.

  May laughter be the birthplace of grace, mercy and forgiveness.

  For unto us a child is born!

  May the spirit of Christmas be with you every single day.

  And, as Tiny Tim says, “God bless us, everyone.”

Holding Back

  “They (orphaned children) had to obey their guardians until they reach whatever age their father set (for them to receive their inheritance).” Galatians 4:3

  The Kingdom of God is ours the moment we accept Jesus as Lord. It’s not something we need to be mature or pure enough for before the vault opens. It’s not something that the number of our years makes us more or less ready for. It’s not something that is waiting for us at the end of those same years. It’s our hearts and minds that enable us to become partakers of the Kingdom; a Kingdom that is beyond the boundaries of time.

  I’ve been doing some reflecting about my feelings around the Nativity scene that was always put out as part of Christmas decorating. I shared a couple days ago that, before Jesus was part of my life, it stirred the ghost of a hope that there was something better in this ole world. In reflecting I realized it also stirred up a deep sadness. You see, I believed myself unworthy and undeserving of such hope. Hope was a thing meant for other people.

   I can also recognize, during that season of my life, these small seeds of hope were terrifying because hope was a dangerous emotion. It only led to heartbreak and disappointment. I wonder if these ghosts still haunt me, making it difficult to imagine and embrace the limitless possibilities God may have waiting.

  Actually, there is no wondering.

  They do.

  Abba, forgive me for placing restrictions on my acceptance of all You have to offer. Forgive me for my fear.

  But these are sad thoughts although I have often shared I spent 40 years in the wilderness before coming home to Jesus. So maybe that’s part of it. God knew what would need to take place for me to come to the end of myself and accept all He had to offer. He knew, just has He knows for all of us, when the time is individually set for us to inherit His Kingdom.

  And here is where the heart comes into play. I want to be able to hope without fear. I want to be free of the ghosts of Christmas past because, even after all this time, they still show up, unwanted, the moment I turn the calendar over to December.

  These are sad thought, too! But maybe that’s okay for today. Sadness is part of grieving. Grieving is letting go. Letting go leaves room for letting in all the good things of God. The greatest of these is change, that is, if I am willing to change. And I am! AMEN!

Hickory, Dickory, Dock

“But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law.” Galatians 4:4

  “The right time,” is a profound indicator of the ways of God. The work He does in, through and to our lives always happens at the right time. The work He did before we breathed was also done at the right time, laying a foundation for our existence; laying a foundation for our life with Jesus.

  Our mortality makes it hard to be patient. Our mortality makes it hard to wait, to rest and to trust in God’s timing. At least, that’s been my experience. I want things to happen yesterday!

  God has been so generous in healing my broken spirit that I find myself praying He would take care of the last vestiges of PTSD. It would be a wondrous day when the anxiety finally vanishes once and for all instead of merely taking a holiday. So, Lord, now would be a good time!

  And isn’t this the crux of the matter: learning how to adapt and align my time to God’s time?

  But then, God doesn’t hand me a schedule like the one I have for work hanging on the fridge. (Smile.) Can you imagine?

  “God, let me get my datebook. Hmmm, let’s see… We can meet a week Thursday at two o’clock to take care of this anxiety business. I’ll pencil You in.” (LOL)

  Many a jest has its foundation in truth!

  We are creatures of schedule, of timetables and milestones; tangible delineations of our daily life broken down into appointments, routine, habit and cultural practices. Trying to wrap our heads around the timelessness of God is a stretch. Trying to understand that deep within God’s timelessness resides perfect timing is a paradox of beautiful, awesome, wonderful mystery that is inherent to the nature of God.

 

   I mentioned earlier about aligning and adapting my time to God’s time. That’s a backwards way of thinking about all this. By surrendering my life to Jesus, I have already cast aside the restrictions of a clock.

  Now, if only I could lose the impatience…(smile.)

  Lord, let Your peace flood my soul! In Jesus name I pray. AMEN!

The Nativity

  “God sent him (Jesus) to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children.” Galatians 4:5

  The Nativity is finished so I thought I’d share some thoughts that came to mind during the process. At one point I called myself a rebel for knitting outside the pattern, for adapting it, changing it and making it my own. It’s not rebellion, it’s being adventurous! It’s being creative. It’s taking a lesson and building on it with ideas that have made this scene unique. Unique is good! It also enabled me to add elements that allowed a deeper, richer, more personal connection to the birth of Jesus.

  The birth of Christ is the birthplace of grace. Sometimes I wasn’t happy with what was happening so I’d take it off the needles, rip out what was knitted and start again. It leaves me grateful to be granted this very important life skill: the ability to start anew without stressing about having gone astray. Now, if I can only incorporate that into daily living!

  I am also happy that there are mistakes in my work here and there where a stitch went wobbly because the yarn was loose or where the wool split on me. The fact it is imperfect is a way to reflect on the redemptive power of Jesus and a reminder that I am only human, not a machine.

  A black sheep is part of the trio because Jesus welcomes all the “black sheep” into His fold. Being called the black sheep of the family is a derogatory name for a person who doesn’t live up to a family’s standards. Black wool is less valuable because it tends to be coarser and, since it is black, the wool can’t be dyed any other colour. Having this little black sheep included in the Nativity is a celebration and an acknowledgement that this Babe will and can redeem all.

   The sheep pattern was the jumping off point for creating patterns for all the other animals in the menagerie. A sheep can become anything! Add a few stitches here and a few there and voila, it’s an ox! Having knit the figures first also taught me about shaping heads, arms and the like because almost everything about this venture covered new ground. What better place to learn than at the birthplace of Jesus!

  That’s the joy of participating in the Nativity. Coming before Jesus is entering new ground every time.

  There was some time spent on Google looking at other knitted donkeys as well as pictures of camels and oxen to gain some ideas. It doesn't hurt to ask around when questions arise.

  The right colour for the ox was sorely lacking in my wool bin so I used the same wool as for the sheep. A quarter cup of strong coffee created a wonderful dye to paint the yarn with once he was assembled. It made him smell good, too! Makes me glad I’ve ruined many a shirt because of coffee stains! There’s a connection there, too, with Jesus. I am stained yet He came to wash me clean of sin.

  Lastly, I opted not to put a halo on the baby Jesus or Mary even though it caused a bit of a wrestling match…To go with tradition or not? Add a halo to signify the holiness of Jesus, or not? Mary, clad in blue, followed her traditional depictions in art through the ages so why did I feel the halo was unnecessary? It isn't a lack of respect for Jesus. In fact, I am not really clear about this decision. Besides, should I change my mind, the halos can be easily added. (Smile.)

    Replacing the paper Mache scene that got destroyed in the flood was the utmost important task of this holiday season. Even as a non-follower of Jesus, it was important for me to have a Nativity scene to set out as part of my own Christmas decorating tradition although I never really knew why. If I recall correctly, it always filled me with the ghost of hope without understanding where that came from. Maybe that’s why, over the years, I’ve had to make them anew because they were lost, broken or left behind. 

  What a lovely reminder that even though I did not know Jesus, He was present in my life, waiting patiently for the day I would turn to Him at last.

  The Nativity is no longer only a Christmas decoration but represents the fundamental core of this season of joy and hope. That’s why it is the only thing under my Christmas tree.

Itty-bitty Giant

  “Surely the Lord has done great things!” Joel 2:20

  He has indeed!

  There have been ongoing experiments to create a self-sustaining biosphere. The end goal is space travel over great distances and ultimately, placing a human colony on Mars. So far, humanity has yet to be successful.

  Many years ago an experiment with a sealed off environment became toxic within a few months. If memory serves, it had something to do with an unplanned for bacteria in the soil. The experiment was abandoned to save the lives of the sickening scientists living in the biosphere.

  I learned the scientists on the space station have to kill every bacterium on and in their bodies before entering. It would appear sterility is crucial to maintaining a healthy, enclosed environment thus far. But, humans need bacteria. In fact, our bodies are crawling with them.

  I know…Ewww! Bear with me. Our bodies are their own biosphere!

  God has done great things! Even microscopic creatures are part of His wonderful and complex design for this planet we call home.

  And it gets even smaller; atomic, sub-atomic, and smaller still that has yet to be seen. The smaller than minuscule particles have only been implied through the use of mathematical formula. If you have a chance, though, check out the inexplicable God Particle. It’s amazing!

  Then there are the big things! Elephants, the oceans, the sun, the moon and the stars we hope to reach some day.

  All of it is part of a complex life cycle that boggles the mind. Doing a Triple T about the interdependence of species needed for all to thrive is enough to make the gray matter in my head explode! 

  Yet, one day, the lion will lie down with the lamb and everything we thought we understood, everything we knew, and  everything we believed about our planet, our lives and space will disappear.

Grace

  “Peace be with you,” he (Jesus) said. Luke 24:38

  Overwhelmed and under rested. A vicious combo. The last thing on my mind has been blogging. That’s backwards; it should be right up there as one of the first things to do when the nerves start tingling. No, it’s not Spidey sense, as in Spider Man’s internal warning system. 

  Or maybe it is...I never thought of it that way before. When the nerves get jangling, something is amiss. There’s danger nearby. This could be a good thing, except, sometimes the danger is so close it's inside of my imagination! (Smile.)

  There was more than a smile, there was a bit of a laugh. I can be a foolish woman sometimes.

  I have never considered anxiety a friend. It’s been more of an unwanted noisy neighbor who crashes the party.

  So let’s reframe. If I am to consider anxiety as a friend (Jesus says love your enemies) what does that relationship look like?

  A relationship can’t happen if one person keeps trying to run away. (Me.)

  Running away only adds anxiousness. How do you run away from something that is with you all the time?

   I am ashamed to be seen in the company of anxiety.

  Oh boy. There it is: the big “S” word.

  Lord, feeling shame is so far removed from Your blessing of peace. I don’t want to be this far away from You.  Guide me into wisdom and understanding. And, Lord, it would appear I could use some compassion for this wayward, obnoxious friend of mine.

A Bit of Brainstorming

  “And while they were there, the time came for her (Mary’s) baby to be born. She gave birth to her firstborn son.” Luke 2:6-7

  I don’t know if I have mentioned the latest project of replacing the Nativity scene which got destroyed in the flood. It is important for me to have one because I place it under my Christmas tree as a reminder of the greatest gift of all, the birth of Jesus.

  It had the wheels turning last night as I attempted to go to sleep. It was a long time coming.

  Nevertheless, it’s going well.  All the people are completed as well as three sheep. There ended up being a bit of an issue with these beasties. Following the pattern made the first one far too big. A giant among lambs! By reducing the stitches, the next two were a more appropriate size. I stepped aside from the traditional nativity scene by knitting one of them with black yarn. Black sheep are more than welcome to come into the presence of Jesus!

  Stepping outside the parameters of tradition, while doing something traditional, has added depth to my musings on the birth of Christ and the people who gathered to worship Him. I was thinking of adding a half sized figure…the little drummer boy from the Christmas carol. Hmmm, how would I knit a drum?

  I might even experiment with knitting an angel which isn’t included in the pattern. Maybe using wire would keep the knitted wings open…another “Hmmmm…”

  The pattern also called for Mary to have yellow hair. Had that been true, she would have been an exotic and unusual woman, not the humble maiden described in Scripture. In fact, all the figures called for their faces and hands to be knitted in a flesh tone more akin to Caucasian. I’ve tried to remain true to the Hebrew roots of Jesus and used a soft caramel instead of peach for Mary, Joseph and the two shepherds. I am assuming they all would have been Hebrew.

  The three wise men have a dark caramel, a deep brown and a black face respectively. I feel it gives them an exotic appearance. They must have appeared that way, too, to people who may have never seen the like before as they travelled west following the Star.

  Oh, I know there has been some debate about them being present when Jesus was born. Some say they came much later. I feel keeping them as part of the Nativity adds the important message that Jesus is the King of kings. Maybe that’s why they were included in the very first Nativity depiction. When was that?

  Figuring out how to knit a donkey, albeit a very small one, has the ole gray matter chewing away at the problem. I have a pattern but it is knitted in the round (using four needles.) This is a skill I haven’t even come close to mastering. Give me straight needles any day! I think the pattern will make the donkey the size of a Percheron horse in relation to the rest of the scene. It wasn’t designed by the same person.

  Hmmm, maybe the giant sheep can be a starting off point. Now, how to knit a neck…

  The knitting process fascinates me. Who thought about taking wool from an animal, making it into string and using sticks to make clothing?

  I also find myself reflecting this morning about how God knits us together in our mother’s womb. Two sticks and string can create an infinite variety of patterns.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

  “Then He turned to His host.” Luke 14:12

  What would it have been like to have Jesus sitting beside you? What would it have been like to hear Him teach? What would it have been like to have Jesus turn to you and speak into your life?

  It would become a memory, the joyous kind that replay in slow motion. Every detail forever cemented into the conscience to be relived and savored over and over. 

  Memories of that first love, that first kiss, would pale by comparison.

  Jesus turned to me!

  Because I have invited Him into my home, my life and my being.

  I imagine Him to be a tenor with a soft musicality to His voice. It would be a voice that could cut through the noises people make. It would rise above the other voices that mutter their litany of untruth into our souls. Jesus has no need to shout because His voice would be commanding and tender, authoritative and welcoming.

  It would be the sweetest voice on earth.

  It is the sweetest voice on earth; a voice that only speaks truth, encouragement, and well, the truth. But truth is good even if it’s hard to swallow sometimes. (Smile.)

Martha Musings

  “When Martha got word that Jesus was coming, she went to meet Him. But Mary stayed in the house.” Luke 11:20

  Several posts ago, I asked the question, “Why didn’t the mourners follow Martha when she left the house?”  There are other questions that have bubbled up as I build my own story about Lazarus and his sisters.

  The mourners had gathered and were comforting Mary. Martha seems to be left out. Why? What is it about Martha?

   The passage in Luke where Mary sits at the feet of Jesus to listen to Him teach while Martha grumbles in the kitchen about her lack of help has already happened.  Jesus gently chastised Martha and declares Mary’s work of listening as a better thing to do. (Allowing Mary to sit and learn with the men broke the gender barrier for all time.)

  I can relate to Martha. Many a holiday I worked in the kitchen, missing out on some great conversations, missing out on family time because the meal had to be made. Christmas turkeys don’t cook themselves! It was stressful. It was tiring. It was lonely. But “rules of hospitality” had to be upheld…tradition! Yuck.

  We, as a family, have evolved since then. Now, frozen lasagna is perfectly fine. Someone brings salad. Someone else, dessert. Time together is the most valuable commodity we have.

  So maybe that’s what is up with Martha. The role of a host was to see her guests well fed, that their wine glasses were filled. Even after Lazarus was raised from the dead, Martha served the meal to Christ and His disciples.

  So maybe the mourners were being treated more like company. Maybe they didn’t bring frozen lasagna so both sisters, in their grief, would be free to mourn. Maybe they didn’t offer to do the shopping or run to the post office.

  Maybe the mourners didn’t realize that Martha might have needed to be comforted, too. I get the feeling she was pretty…what…dour? Unemotional? Serious?

  It’s hard to glean a complete person from a few words. Lord, stir my imagination. What was Martha like?

  Did Martha sneak out the back when she heard that Jesus had come? Maybe Martha needed to be alone with Him and she didn’t want anyone else there. Hmmm, that’s a thought. Jewish custom meant she would have been free to ignore anyone greeting her in the street. Her silence would be a recognized sign of mourning.

  Or maybe she knew the only one who could ease her pain and sorrow was Jesus. Not her sister. Not the people gathered in the house.

  Martha tossed all her hostess responsibilities out the window the moment she left the house. She was doing a Mary, going to sit at the feet of Jesus.

  Atta girl!

Bear it and grin.

  “Then at the resurrection of the righteous, God will reward you for inviting those who could not repay you.” Luke 14:14

  This passage is about extending hospitality to those who cannot reciprocate in kind.

  Today’s teaching also included encouragement for the introvert to find ways of connecting with people we don’t normally associate with. It hit home. If I was any more introverted, I’d be inside out. (Smile.)

  Shy. Reserved. Reticent. Heck, let’s call it what it is…I am not comfortable being around people. I guess it boils down to distrust. No, distrust is too harsh. Hmmm, this is far more complicated. There’s a whack of things going on here.

  Yup. Distrust.

  Although, lately, there’s been a surprising change in how I interact with others. It’s becoming easier to start conversations with people I don’t know very well. (!) I even find myself looking for something to talk about. God has been good in helping me remember things they may have said in passing that are important to them.

  Asking questions about what they said is like saying, “I see you, I hear you, and you matter.”

  And it’s usually safe. (Smile.)

  There’s a balloon involved in this new way of relating. A few weeks ago, they had some helium balloons at church. They were handing them out to the kids after the service. I boldly asked one if it would be okay if I got one, too. Being silly is a good ice breaker. It’s still on the kitchen table slowly shriveling up as the gas condenses. I haven’t the heart to pop it. (Not only introverted but a big kid at heart. I always grin and chase them down when the dish soap bottle accidentally farts blows floating bubbles in the kitchen.)

  No, I am not going to defend my utter delight in simple pleasures! If that makes me odd, so be it. The ability to find and enjoy the whimsical has been a gift in dire times.

  Anyways, the next week I had a wonderful but brief chat with the little girl who told me I could have the balloon. She still had hers. We shared a smile about our common reluctance to trash them. Her mom did an eye roll thing. Ignoring that, her daughter and I talked about how funny balloons are when they begin looking like wizened old men.

  So, starting small…er, short… is ok.

  This dialogue thing takes some practice. Maybe that’s part of why it challenges me so. I haven’t had much practice. Yet having a dialogue with someone is the first step in hospitality, isn't it?

 

  It’s leaving me feeling rather excited because there have been changes. Some are more subtle than others but it’s all for the better. Perhaps in time the "in" can become an "ex" as in extroverted…naw…way too flashy for me. Eccentric will be just fine. (A big smile to close off with.)