I am Sent. John 20:21

  "So Jesus said to them again, "Peace to you. As the Father has sent Me. I also send you." NJKV
  "Again he said, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you." JCB

  I feel led to include the next verse because Jesus not only sends us into the world, He equips us for our journeys.
  "Then he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit." Jn 20:22  JCB

  I find myself feeling humbled this morning. It's a wide eyed, delighted, amazed, and awe filled humility wrapped up with deepest gratitude.
  Jesus gave us the Spirit. All of us. From that very moment until the end of time. Every believer that proclaims Jesus is Lord is freely given an eternally present gift from God...His breath.
  We've been sent but we are never without a Guide.
  We've been sent but we are never journeying on our own.

  It's just that, sometimes, we forget He is there. I forget all the time and get buried by insecurities and fear.
  Last night's worship team practice is a perfect example. It pushed me waaay outside my comfort zone. It was a small group of four because our team leader and her husband, the bass player, were away. Thankfully, they will be back for Sunday service! Thankfully, we will have a practice before the service with all of us!
  There was a pianist, a guitarist, a drummer and yours truly on the flute. Only, there was nobody singing to keep us all together. It didn't go very well.
  Here's the stretch...I ended up offering to do vocals. (What!? Who said that!?) My throat and chest tightened with nervousness which didn't help matters. Most of the tension was due to being utterly ill prepared to sing solo. Being familiar with the words wasn't much help because they had rarely been sung. Flute tooting is my contribution. Lyric singing is a mental exercise.
  The one song for Sunday where I was slated to do back up vocals flopped mightily because I didn't have a lead to follow, to keep me in the right place in the lyrics. It's also a song I wasn't overly familiar with. (Believing that our faithful leader would be there to keep me on track!) That will change today because I'll listen to it. A Lot! That will be a challenge, too, because the song isn't one I care for very much.
  So we sort of muddled our way through the rehearsal.
  I wasn't happy with my performance because I know it could have been better. At least, I think I can sing much better. But that's in the car. Sans audience, sans anyone relying on me to keep everything together. Although, I have to wonder how much anxiety would have built up had our team leader warned me what was going to happen. Probably a lot. :)
  She had sent us notice that she wouldn't be there, that our talented pianist would run the practice...I guess I failed to put the two together. I also hadn't realized the worship team was going to be so small this week.

  I am not happy this morning because it was a missed opportunity to snuggle into Jesus, to reside with the Holy Spirit, who would have helped me through the challenges of the evening. Panic and nervousness drove all thoughts of them right out of my head. Forgive me, Lord.

  This morning I realize He had everything under control. It was the Holy Spirit who led me to throw myself to the lions. (Another smile.) It was He who urged me to step outside the box of comfort and familiarity. It was He who enabled me to rise above past criticisms and lies.

  It took a long while to fall asleep last night but I am reassured this morning that the next time, it will be better.