I am Disciplined Hebrews 12:5-11 by Susan L.

  "My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives." Heb 12:5-6 NKJ
 "For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God's discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in His holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening--it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." Heb 12:10 JCB

  Punishment. It's a hard word that's used instead of chastening in the newer, Jesus Centred Bible's translation of verse six. I find it's hard to wrap my head around.
  My experiences with earthly punishment created shame, guilt and a whole bunch of self-abasing behaviours in order to please the punisher. That's part of my journey, coming to understand the intrinsic worth I inherited as a daughter of God. It's been a long road because those I gave authority to or were in a place of authority abused that right.
  It would appear my road continues. Lord, do I have some questions!!
  What does "punishment" look like without those two terrible weapons?
  Was God "punishing" me all those years I didn't look to Him? Did He allow all the crap to happen as punishment because I'd turned away?
  What about what happened when I was a child?
  Lord, these wounds still run deep. The anger that has stirred in my heart is strong. I lift it all to You. Help me understand Your ways.

  Maybe I am confusing the hand of God with the devil's influence in my life. Maybe I'm twisting it into the idea of God punishing me. Maybe I am confusing consequences with chastening.

  I know one thing for sure. The Lord is pouring His unfathomable love into my life. I've never felt punished by Him for getting it wrong. I've never felt chastised for slipping up. Convicted? Yes. The quiet whispers of the Holy Spirit are all it takes for me to recognize that I've strayed or where perhaps I could have made better choices.
  This is definitely a Triple T subject.
  "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith." Heb 12:1-2 JCB