Affirmation #81 by Susan L.

  I am drawing near with confidence. Hebrews 4:16
  "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." NKJ
  "So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most." JCB

  Just out of curiosity and because it is a practice that irked me, I investigated why the capital letters in the pronouns He or Him, referring to God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit, have been dropped in newer Bible translations. Thanks to Google, I discovered the original Hebrew and Greek texts didn't use capitals for these words or other pronouns identifying the Divine Beings. The recent translators wanted to provide a more accurate translation. They weren't dropped due to some modern idea of bringing the members of the Holy Trinity to "our level" like I'd thought.
  I wonder if these capitalized pronouns are a stumbling block for some of us. Do they make God less approachable? Do they create a barrier? Do they generate distance between our Lord and His children? Do the capitals instill a hierarchy of power? I am wondering because, for me, when these pronouns are written with a capital, it stirs a sense of awe and wonder in my heart. For me it's also an offering of honour and respect to the One who has authority in my life.

  Okay, I felt a nudge after writing that last sentence. There are many areas in my life where I haven't surrendered. :) Actually, there are a lot of areas!
  Why is that? It's not like I can keep secrets from the One who knows me more intimately than I know myself. Has something as small as a capital letter prevented me from coming boldly to the throne of grace?
  (There was a long pause in writing here.)

  So when did reverential awe become tainted with cringing fear? Why am I so afraid of letting go and letting in?
  The ugly thought just went through my head, "You'll never be good enough."
  It makes me so sad that this idea is still floating around. There's no grace in it. It's merciless. There's no room for being helped or the space to ask for help. I think I can figure out who keeps fertilizing this toxic idea. It isn't my Abba Father.
  This poisonous core belief has coloured my relationships with people as well. The need to disprove the lie, the need for approval to help disprove the lie has only reinforced this ungodly belief because nothing of this earth will ever be enough to dispel it. No human approval could ever be enough.
  Lord, You have brought me a long way from the battered and oppressed woman I once was. I am reeling a bit this morning because of what You have revealed. Thank You for dredging this out of the depths of the Black River because it explains a whole lot about why I do the things I do. It explains my defensiveness and guardedness when dealing with others and in my relationship with You. It explains why I have found it so difficult to seek Your face, Your presence in ALL things. Guide me along the paths of forgiveness and grace for others and myself . In Jesus' name I pray. AMEN!