Be longing...wanting to be part of something bigger than myself, to be in community and relationship, to be needed and accepted. To belong.
The devil made sure I always felt my square peg personality would never fit in with others because there only seemed to be round holes no matter where I went. Round hole personalities were ruthless in guarding their territory. Maybe because they were afraid someone might find out they were square pegs, too.
I learned to lie, to hide my feelings, to be a chameleon who adapted and modified my behaviour in order to be accepted. My true self got lost in the wastelands of the wilderness.
Oh, I worked really hard at being everything others expected me to be but ended up failing miserably. I could never do enough to earn love and acceptance. It ended with me being cast aside like unwanted trash. For this, I am eternally grateful, because in being rejected, in reaching the end of the great pretending, I have found a better life than I ever thought possible.
I belong to God, now.
"You are worth loving," He told me nearly a decade ago. He's spent the last decade showing me why by tenderly and gently unravelling the lies I believed of myself and others and even about Him.
Because He belongs to me.
"I (Jesus) will not leave you orphans; I will come to you." Jn 14:18
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