Haunting shadows of a falling dream. Waking up during the night: two, five, seven. It's become the norm. Is it because of the med changes? Or age?
The lawn needs mowing but the dew is too heavy this morning. Good sign...no rain today. It'll have to be later. Garden weed control is severely lacking.
My co-worker may have broken her foot. (I pray not!) Will have to work more hours?
Saturday paint competition sign up. What to paint. Stomach in knots about it. Maybe it isn't a good idea to take part.
How to build a frame to support new board for new painting. Excited by it. Repaint frame for piano picture, green too wishy-washy...black? Should work.
What's the date anyways?
I can feel the tension in my shoulders and neck building.
The brain hamsters are going a gazillion miles an hour. Argh! Come on, brain, concentrate!
And a wave of teary-eyed gratitude and peace sweeps over me. The dream about falling? I remember now, the Lord caught me in His big, strong arms before I hit the ground. I was awake enough to feel myself utterly relax in the blanket of His peace then feel myself fall again. Only this time it was into a deep, restful sleep.
Everything else is just a distraction, an attempt to get me to forget exactly Who is in charge. It's an attempt to get me to forget Who will be my inspiration, my Muse, my Strength, my Hope, my Life and my Love...in all things! That means in everything from lawn cutting to creative expressions. It's an attempt to build doubt and insecurity in the gifts the Lord has blessed me with.
This avalanche of worries is the work of the thief of thieves.
I say before the Lord, this robber has no place here. Amen!
"Give ear and hear my voice, listen and hear my speech. Does the plowman keep plowing all day to sow? Does he keep turning his soil and breaking the clods? When he has leveled its surface, does he not sow the black cumin, and scatter the cumin, plant the wheat in rows, the barley in the appointed place, and the spelt in its place?" Is 28:23-25
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The Robes
"Coming up behind Jesus, she (the woman who had bled for 12 years) touched the fringe of His robe." Luke 9:44 And she was heal...
You are not alone in this type of struggle. I woke shortly after 2 a.m. and didn't sleep again until probably 4:30. Alarm went off at 6:30 but I dozed till almost 7. Then rushed to get to work by 8:30. Fortunately, it's only a 5 minute drive. I'm fighting a migraine all day because of the lack of sleep. I've given the pain to Jesus to join with His pain on the cross for the salvation of the world. I will have to trust Him to help me meet my project deadline later today, all the while answering potentially over 90 phone calls and servicing potentially 25 people at the counter. Thankfully, all of this is not going to matter in eternity, other than to refine my soul in patience, endurance, long-suffering, and love of the Lord despite trials.
ReplyDeleteMy goodness! I'm overwhelmed just reading it! I hope your headache went away!
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