Med Reduction by Susan L.

  I've begun the long, slow process of reducing one of my medications. I pray it all goes well, that the lesser amount still does what it is supposed to. It's a bit scary. This particular one is for anxiety and to help me sleep. I'm hoping by taking it a small fraction of only a few milligrams at a time with a period of at least three weeks between reductions, it will all go smoothly.
  This decision is because this med is extremely hard on the liver and kidneys. It also has contributed to weight gain because along with easing anxiety, it creates a craving for sugar and carbs. Taking two different medications with that side effect makes the desire to lose weight doubly difficult. I can pretty much time the peak cravings: one hour after taking them.
  My psychiatrist knows what I am doing. Changes wouldn't be made without his knowledge and he approves. We tried weaning me off this one a couple of years ago but I reached a point where I could go no lower. Anxiety became a constant companion so we bumped it back up a bit and there it has stayed.
  I've shared before that anxiety is the fight/flight response on overdrive. It's a physical thing not an imagination thing. The automatic response gets triggered by absolutely everything. Even making the decision to go to bed can trigger an avalanche of panic. Yes, it has happened. That's why we increased my last attempt at reduction. It makes it a bit difficult to sleep. Even making a change in meds is causing a level of stress that has me second guessing this choice to reduce which causes the needling fingers of anxiety to prick at my chest...aaargh! I hate hamster wheels!!
  So, my Lord, I lift this change up to You, that it will reflect Your glory. Grant me the perseverance and patience to continue on this path. Help my body adjust and function as it should. Help me be aware of what is happening so I don't get caught up in feeling anxious because I am feeling anxious. Help me acknowledge the source and bring to mind my invisible tool belt of wellness tools. In Jesus Name, amen.
  Tool belt? It's an imaginary thing. Mine looks like an invisible Batman belt with lots of pockets and gadgets. In it are the things I can use to maintain my equilibrium like running my hands under water or creating a collage, a visual prayer, or playing the piano in worship. It contains an arsenal of wellness tools to keep me balanced and grounded when and if things get rough.
  "So that you incline your ear to wisdom, and apply your heart to understanding; Yes, if you cry out for discernment and lift up your voice for understanding, if you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God." Prov 2:2-5