Hesitation by Susan L.

  The increase in my anti-depressant seems to be working. The over-the-top anxiety has eased considerably, becoming more situational than constant. It's a relief. A huge one.
  The art therapist gave me some contact info for a couple of other art therapists in the area. This gives me options should I want to continue exploring the issues that got stirred up in our last group session. Sadly, she doesn't have a space to work with me one on one.
  The thought of starting with someone new...the thought of having to rehash everything, to fill them in about my background, when I've come so far...Why open healed wounds?
  Then there are the horses.
  I watched "Warhorse" last night. The star, Joey, reminds me so much of a mare I once owned: his colour, his graceful movement, the way he holds his head. Stunning. So is she. Even at pasture she stood out as something special. I happily sold her to a woman who was looking for a lifetime companion, to do some small hunter/jumper shows. I spoke to the owner once after the purchase, she had some inquiries into the mare's Hanoverian/Thoroughbred parentage. My Sophia was the star of the barn.
  We nearly lost her as a newborn foal. She was born, overdue, and her bowel was blocked solid. It took the vet calling the University of Guelph Animal Hospital to find some way to get her to poop. He'd already tried everything he knew. If their suggestion hadn't worked, she would have been put down. Thank God, it did. Never did a little pile of manure mean so much.
  There was a write up last Wednesday in our local paper about the Horse Therapy farm I visited a few weeks ago. I don't believe in coincidence. I think before I try a new art therapist, an appointment at the farm might be a good place to start.
  Lord, Your will be done.
  "Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You." Ps 56:3