Friday, 7 June 2013

A Bit Mixed Up by Susan L.

I confess I am getting hate and anger all twisted around. Season it with dollop of fatigue, a dash of unwanted bitterness and blatherings like yesterday's blog explode. The Black River's waters are still gaining strength and I am afraid. There it is. On paper. In black and white. Confession. Admission. Honesty offered up to God. Writing about anger is safer than exploring the stew of my own upwelling emotions. Fall out from TIR therapy (Traumatic Incident Reduction). Other unpleasant memories cascade through my mind. Connected, nightmare events I wish I could just walk away from. The memories are so vivid, I can even smell them. I have no strength to deny them. It was so long ago but at the same time feels like yesterday when insult was added to injury; the deep and cutting wounds that rocked my reality. Being laughed at, mocked, for my anger. Dismissed. Disregarded. Denied. Help me, Father, find forgiveness in my heart. Live me. Love me. Show me. Grow me, my Lord. Please, set me free! In Jesus' name I pray. "And that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness." Eph 4:24
-

1 comment:

  1. H.7 June 2013 at 08:02

    Yesterday's blog wasn't blathering! It was insightful, honest, and very discerning on your part. The learning process will bring ups and downs, as does the healing process. Some things need to be "unlearned" too. We're all on the journey :).

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Balance

   If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes form w...

  • Note Book by Susan L.
      In those few seconds between sleep and awake brilliant blog ideas seem to pop up. They vanish in moments as sleep wins the battle for a fe...
  • Changing Gears by Susan L
    Gentle folks, I was all set to try and write something thought provoking and insightful. God has other plans for today. Search and rescue...
  • Recaptured Moments by Susan L.
    The new air mattress I used camping wasn't very air tight. It threatened to toss me on the floor with each roll over. It was like slee...