The Same Old Song by SusanL.

My mind is full of Christmas this morning: the need-to-do's, the gotta-hurry-up-and-do's. I know it will get done in time, it always has but today needs to be a bit of a rest day. There is some residual after effects due to yesterday's anxiety explosion. It has left me feeling a little wrung out and cautious. This anxiety thing is a little hard to swallow some times. It bears keeping in mind that I am a gazillion times better than when I was first diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in 2007. In the beginning it took all my energy simply to leave the house. With God at the helm, most of the traumas at the root of this illness have been worked through. The all consuming flashbacks are now just painful memories...I confess, I'm being awfully hard on myself because... Hold on a second. If I had a broken leg or other visibly physical disability it wouldn't matter that I was unable to do all the running around my shopping list required. You know, I keep getting tripped up by my own attitudes about Mental Illness. They are so deeply entrenched in my psyche. The devil's litany rings out: weak, useless, incompetent, failure, blah, blah, blah. Liar! Thank You, Lord for Your persistence in helping all of us understand the truth of how You see everything that impacts our lives. The good, the bad, and the ugly are redeemed through Your love for us. "In the day of my trouble I will call upon You, for You will answer me." Ps86:7