Church Bells by Susan L.

This morning brought me awake with snatches of Christmas music dancing like sugarplums in my head. It was a nice way to wake up;so much better than the teeth jarring buzzer of my alarm clock. For some reason, even though I set it last night, it didn't go off. Hmmm...is this a good thing? I've started going to church again these last couple of Sundays. It's a small gathering held at the local arts centre. It has been many months (years?) since I've regularly attended worship because where I used to go became too big, too noisy and far too busy for me to cope with. Shopping at Zehrs would have been easier as my anxiety over rode my ability to take part in the service. There's a word in the book "Watership Down" by Richard Adams, what the rabbits in the story call "tharn". It means the feeling of a deer in the headlights or a mouse caught in the shadow of a hunting hawk. It's a good word that exemplifies the feelings of what living with PTSD is like when instincts kick in; however misguided they may be. Being on high alert and hyper vigilant is not condusive to being at peace before the Lord. I am glad He understands and thankful He continues to help me overcome my illness. Lately, I had begun to hunger for fellowship and waited patiently for the Lord to lead me to a safe place where it wouldn't be so overwhelming. God is good. It feels like I have come home. "God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth." Jn 4:24