Thoughts on Grief, Part One by Susan L.

This is an excerpt from my book God and the Black River: Grief is an unrecognized gift; a treasure trove that holds within five small letters everything that defines us as human. It is not all runny noses and headaches. Just ask any one who has gotten the giggles at a funeral. Everything that happens to us is a new beginning With every new beginning, something is lost or left behind. Grief is how we honour our losses, how we express perhaps regret, sorrow and even anger. Grief is another form of honesty. Grief, in my trip on the Black River, has been the beginning place of tremendous personal growth as I have explored my losses and how they impacted me. I learned the five stages of grief don't necessarily fall in an orderly fashion. Sometimes you hit a stage many times before finding closure. When we think of grieving it is almost always asscociated with the death of a loved one. There are countless, compassionate books to guide us through and beyond surviving that life changing loss. I have discovered grief is far more common than that. It is an every day event. Just listening to the news can trigger grief. I don't know where the time line for grieving was started, the mandatory/maximum one year deadline. My experience has been that you are open to criticism and judgement should it take longer to ' get over it' and, true to human nature, the same thing happens if we don't appear to grieve long enough! No matter what your sorrow or loss has been. Take all the time you need. Grief is such an incredibly complex and deeply layered emotion. It is a wonderful opportunity to be honest with God about how you feel. It is an opportunity to be honest with ouselves as well. For me, the time spent pouring out my grief was the birthplace of my heart being able to forgive. "Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance, the heart is made better. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning." Ecc 7:3-4