Friday, 1 November 2013

Change of Pace by Susan L.

WARNING: THE CONTENTS MAY BE UPSETTING TO SOME READERS. I had written something this morning but had no time to post it. God's divine hand looking after my needs. I need to write or what happened will haunt me all weekend. The big guns were fired this afternoon. A comment was made about a young female trick or treater who was out last night with a group of boys. I gather her costume enhanced her femininity but what was said both shocked and grieved me. "She's just asking to be raped." I am struggling not to judge the speaker, a woman. God help me, please! Those hateful, careless words pierced my heart on behalf of all who have experienced sexual exploitation in any of its hideous forms. The devil's lie absolves abusers of their actions and choices. In fact it is actually a twisted stamp of approval. "Truly, they couldn't help themselves. Look at what she was wearing!" It's easier to blame the victim rather than believe a person could do something so terrible to another. I don't think I've ever heard those hurtful words directed at any of the brave men who have dared to come forward about their own terrible experiences. There are statistics. 99.9% of the time the abusers have themselves been abused.I try not to judge the choices they have made. Hurting people hurt people. It's sometimes that complicatedly simple. "Assuredly, I say to you, all sins will be forgiven, and whatever blasphemies they may utter." Mk 3:28


  1. Rape is a crime of violence more so than a sex crime. As such, it really does not matter what the victim is wearing. But women do each other and themselves a disservice when they dress provocatively. And we do our children a disservice when we let girls dress this way too. Like it or not, we send a certain messages when we dress in a revealing way. And that message goes far beyond just enhancing our femininity. Perhaps the woman who made the comment was partly expressing dismay at how far fashion has gone to put women's bodies on display. If so, I would agree with her. This is not to say women are "asking for it", or to justify attackers actions, but to encourage women to take ownership of their dignity. Our sexuality is a treasure, not something to flaunt in public.

  2. Any crime that robs us of dignity IS a crime of violence. There is no "yard stick" that can measure the terrible damage done to the person subjected to such treatment. That is where we, as a society, have grievously neglected go both validate and advocate for the victims be they boys or girls, teens, men or women. Yes, women need to take ownership of the blessed gift of femininity but so should men of their masculinity. It is unacceptable to be just one gender's responsibility to begin the changes that are so desperately needed. But that's a whole other blog.